Photo courtesy of David Larry Carroll

Contemporary Christian music has a bad reputation for being sappy, insincere and just plain unlistenable. For many of us, it conjures images of flashy infomercials, crooked televangelists and snake-handling zealots. Maybe if it weren’t so formulaic, this genre could hook new converts or at least more tolerance for Christianity at large in a country where so many people seem to be sick of it. David Larry Carroll of one-man act BlackMagicMarker shatters these preconceived notions with a very different take on this genre of music. The harsh noise and dramatic choreography are some of the most shocking aspects, but Carroll’s sense of humor is also a bit disarming, given that he’s technically a contemporary Christian musician.

Where did you get the idea to combine the Gospel with harsh noise and bloody theatrics?

I’ve always enjoyed crazy sounds like AM radio frequencies, squeaky dryers and rhythms of off-centered ceiling fans…putting mics up to motors and appliances like can openers. My first writings were to a squeaky dryer as my background noise, when I was 9 yrs old screaming at the top of my lungs. I still use some of the same lyrics, squeaks and noises in my stuff today.  When I became a follower of Christ, I wanted to tell everyone of Him. These “harsh” noises and punk rock was what I knew. Thought that was a unique form. Even did a noise show in a laundromat for southmorehousepresents, and they [noises] fit perfectly.  When I heard the graphic story of the crucifixion of Christ (as a teen), I saw very bloody, gory and vivid images, which I convey in my sets and hold up signs with scriptures of the Bible like John 3 :17–a staple of my belief system. God sent not his son to condemn.

It’s been two years since you last talked to us. What’s happened since then?    

It’s been non-stop. By myself and doing performance art as BlackMagicMarker, I have been getting lots of requests to perform. Met new cool friends from all over the world.  Did the FPSF 2024 on the Super Happy Fun Land stage, The Lone Star Explosion, NOLA around Halloween and Continuum Live Art Series in November and December.

The last time I watched your performance, you included a segment called the emotional sidewalk. Explain that segment to us.

You saw part 3, Odd Thursdays at Super Happy Fun Land, 1/9/14. BlackMagicMarker was a featured act.  After was “TheGoryStoryofLove” tour: Houston, Austin, NOLA and wherever. A new kind of tour started called “The Emotional Sidewalk Pt. 1”.  I walked a lot…to and from the venues, doing bunches of open mics and theaters.  After performing, it was like my sense of hearing and sight was amplified, listening to and having conversations with the people who attended. Soaking in their hurts and feelings. After tour, I went into the studio, burdened over all I heard and observed. The song  “C.U.T (Christ Understands This)” came out of all this. I felt compelled to do”The Emotional Sidewalk Pt. 2” to the crowds that grew and grew. I put a Q&A in as part of the set as an outreach–a way of comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable. Throughout 2024, part 3 is just starting: “Carrying the Burden”

Do you ever get flack from other Christians who think your act is blasphemous or offensive? What is your response?

Yes, some do.  I don’t respond, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. I encourage them to dig deeper, and I’m open to talk if they want to know why I do what I do. It’s not about me, but Jesus–period.

What would you say to skeptical people who don’t put a lot of stock in Christ and Christianity? Can they expect to get anything out of your act?

I let my art speak. Hopefully they like my stylings at least. Maybe recognize a few songs. I have added the classic “Jesus Loves You this I know ” and “Because He Lives” as a reminder that Jesus loves us still.

Photo by Camilo Gonzalez

Found footage appreciation is a sub-cultural phenomenon that developed long before the internet made weird clips something we all take for granted. In 2024, with nothing more than a few keystrokes (or touch screen taps) we can find years worth of freaky film on Youtube, archive.org or any number of other easily-accessible movie repositories. However, before Youtube, enthusiasts had to meet up and trade copied VHS tapes of their favorite oddball films to satisfy their cravings. Some of the more popular tapes travelled across the world via duplication and won large, international fan bases.

One example of this is chronicled the award-winning, 2024 documentary “Winnebago Man,” directed by and starring UT grad Ben Steinbauer. The found footage in question consists of outtakes from a decades-old Winnebago commercial, which depicted the smooth-talking narrator breaking character and having angry, profanity-filled outbursts over mistakes made in the midst of shooting. The beginning of “Winnebago Man” shows a series of interviews with all the different people who were captivated by the film. The latter half is a search for the man himself and their interactions with him. This documentary was my first encounter with the concept of found footage, and I discovered it in a rather pedestrian place, given the esoteric subject matter: Blockbuster.

To reiterate though, found footage is the dorky home movie collecting grime in the garage. Found footage is public access VHS forgotten by time. It defies classification. It is any piece of footage deemed outside the boundaries of norms for regular consumables (i.e. mainstream movies, TV, documentaries etc.). Found footage is everywhere, but few dust it off and appreciate its singular, madcap beauty. Luckily for curious Houstonians, and with many thanks to the Aurora Picture Show, our city was on the tour route for a travelling cinematographic sideshow called “Found Fiesta!”

On the evening of Jan. 10, the kind folks of St. Arnold’s Brewery opened their doors to “Found Fiesta!”, which is a celebration of the oddest and most interesting found artifacts that the participants can gather. The exhibition took place in the form of a competition, with randomly-chosen judges in the audience voting after each of the three rounds for the participants with the most fascinating finds.

The presenters broke down into three teams. First was Found Footage Festival (comprised of Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett), then North Carolina-based AV Geeks (Skip Elsheimer) and lastly, NPR contributor and co-creator of Found Magazine, Davy Rothbard. The first two teams dealt with found film, but Davy’s finds were in the form of text. These included love letters, hand-written lists and pop quizzes, just to name a few.

Found Footage Festival’s focus was a broad one, as the name might suggest. Highlights of their presentation included a montage of violent work safety videos, a seemingly-aroused crafting lady and a public access show about a man dancing in a speedo for a cluster of bewildered senior citizens. These were all extremely entertaining, but the final two rounds between AV Geeks and Found Magazine were easily the most memorable parts of the night.

The final round saw Davy present a strikingly poignant piece of found writing that seemed to take the audience by surprise, who (if they were like me) were probably expecting more ribaldry and silliness. This particular find was a letter written by a young man named Collin addressed to his mother. The words were bursting with emotion and were anything but funny. The letter included an abbreviated life story of the author who, according to his words, had a very difficult childhood, but had finally found love. Collin told his mother that he was finally happy–that he was no longer suicidal, and it was all because of this amazing woman who had miraculously walked into his life. Now, the contents of the letter alone would have been a drastic enough change to turn heads, given the light-hearted tenor of Davy’s presentation so far, however, the story of its discovery was even more interesting. Davy told the audience that it had been sent to him by a woman who found the letter in a tree, attached to a balloon. The tree stood in a cemetery. Once the audience put two and two together, there was definitely a tender moment to be had during this evening that had so far been dominated by laughter. It was a reminder that while many found artifacts are humorous, they do in fact offer insight into the lives of real, flesh and blood people with real struggles, feelings and experiences.

The final presenter in the very last round of the night was Skip, who would not be outdone by Davy’s heartwarming letter. He pulled out the big guns. Going for an emotional 180-degree turn, Skip played his last offering. Keeping with his focus on old educational films, Elsheimer presented us with one about teaching blind children the particulars of sexual anatomy. It was the film equivalent of being redirected to lemonparty.org (a not-so-nice website for those of you lucky enough not to fall prey to this prank). A palpable awkwardness filled the dimly-lit beer hall, but naturally it was so overpowering that we all burst into laughter.

Offensive? Yes. Well-timed? Also a yes. The hilarious juxtaposition of these last two pieces definitely captured the spirit of the night and maybe even the spirit of found footage appreciation in general. For a Monday night, it was quite the outing.

Art by Shelby Hohl

It seems that with the power of the internet, and the advent of inexpensive digital recording equipment, “record labels” are popping up everywhere. Of course, we know that many of these chintzy imprints seen online are nothing more than made-up names used by small-time bands to produce synthetic clout, but Houston’s Artifical Head label is in fact a very real entity doing a lot to extoll the goodness of local H-Town musicians. Paul Chavez is the brains behind Artificial Head, and he was kind enough to answer a few questions for FPH.

Running a record label is a trying and expensive thing, especially if you’re not swimming in rich investors. Describe the hardships of running a label and how you make it work.

You know, it all comes down to passion. I had run a record label in the past called Destroy All Music and by the end, it became a grind. We liked the records and tapes we were releasing, but the whole endeavor took the passion out and it became another job. We were young and not prepared for what it took to run a label as the whole business overwhelmed us.

Years later, when Artificial Head started up, the pretense was different. The objective of the label was to give the band Art Institute some “legitimacy” with distributors and venues. The whole project expended after playing several gigs with The Escatones. We enjoyed their sound and their dedication to touring everywhere, all the time. . .so we struck a deal and got them to record some songs for a 7”. From there, the label moved to a whole different level. It went from being a vanity label for Art Institute, to being responsible for product and promotion for another band. And from there, it just kept going.

It takes a whole lot of time, money and more money to get products on the market and then even more time for follow up and promotion. Getting the record pressed is barely half the battle – there’s the process of ferreting out reviewers, sending promo copies to radio, possibly doing advertising, sending promo posters / flyers to stores, getting someone to distribute your record, setting up the release on bandcamp/bigcartel/itunes/etc. And (hopefully) the band goes on tours – so I send out promo posters to record stores and the venues where the bands will be performing. And then. . .there’s the long wait for the first review. . .and then another long wait until you get paid from the distributor(s).

Postage outside of the US has become my biggest obstacle in maintaining sales momentum. So now I have a distributor in the UK and Germany who will take batches of releases and handle all the sales overseas. Building up to that point has taken A LOT of serious effort.

I heard you’ve had some pretty famous artists (at least one) do cover art for Artificial Head. Tell us who you’ve gotten and who you’d like to get if you could.

It was kind of a fluke that I was able to land Raymond Pettibon for the Art Institute LP. I pursued his agent for eight months until they finally agreed to license the artwork to us. From there, I kept seeking out artists I respected and coupled them up with great bands.

HEAD 005 – Art Institute LP (Raymond Pettibon) HEAD 009 – The Escatones 7” (Doug Mac) HEAD 010 – The Escatones 7” (Sean Äaberg) HEAD 012 – Ken South Rock / Giant Battle Monster split 7″ (Savage Pencil) HEAD 013 – Jody Seabody & The Whirls 7″ (Jeffrey Lamm) HEAD 015 – Hell City Kings 7″ (Raymond Ahn)

I’m working on a Kiss tribute LP (HEAD 016) and I toyed with the idea of asking Paul Stanley to do the cover art, but his artwork is so terrible that I really couldn’t justify the expense.

I have solid plans to work with Greg Scott (Blue Oyster Cult) and Larry Welz (Cherry Poptart) on some releases for later in 2024. While in the future, I’d like to do something with Koop, Frank Kozik and John Baizley – but that’s a good 12 to 18 months away before I can even get in line to get on their schedules! Every once in a while, I’ll call/email Roger Dean and Tanino Liberator, just to keep my name in front of whoever is deleting their emails/voice mail.

This question practically writes itself, but it must be asked: What does Artificial Head mean to you? Does it carry meaning or is it just post-modern jive like a lot of label names are these days?

The label is all about promoting the bands that we believe in while providing a quality product for music lovers anywhere.

As someone who runs a label, what are your thoughts about Spotify and streaming services?

The customers of Artificial Head will probably use Spotify/Youtube for their quick music fix and for sharing, but they also are people who love all aspects of music and will either go to an actual record store or see a band and buy their releases. The two mediums (online and in person) can indeed work together since they serve the same purpose of promoting music but with very different paths/outcomes.

Since you’re a local label, I bet everyone and their mom thinks that you want to, or will sign them. Do you have a lot of people beating down your door to be on Artificial Head?

Man, just being an actual label exposes us to EVERYONE wanting to have us release their products. We listen to everything that’s submitted, but we also let people know that our plate is quite full for 2024.

Tell us about the worst demo you’ve ever received. You don’t have to use the band or artist name if you don’t want to, but obviously that would be more hilarious.

We get some weird stuff in the inbox…only a few times have we received physical demos. The strangest was when we received a box of 10 CDs from an industrial metal band from Germany. No note, no press release, no invoice. . .nothing! I ended up dropping off the box at Sound Exchange and the band still hasn’t bothered to send us a note.

When it comes to submitting demos, I’ll ask people who submit their demos if they have picked up any of our releases and I’m (a) surprised by their honesty and (b) disappointed by their honesty. They usually write back with, “No, but I plan to buy some when I have the extra cash.”

All that being said, once a record finally makes it to the release stage, it’s a rewarding experience. For a brief moment, all the crazy drama and stress leading up to that point is forgotten and a sense of pride starts to develop. And then. . .you wait and hope for the orders!

Found footage appreciation is a sub-cultural phenomenon that developed long before the internet made weird clips something we all take for granted. In 2024, with nothing more than a few keystrokes (or touch screen taps) we can find years worth of freaky film on Youtube, archive.org or any number of other easily-accessible movie repositories. However, before Youtube, enthusiasts had to meet up and trade copied VHS tapes of their favorite oddball films to satisfy their cravings. Some of the more popular tapes travelled across the world via duplication and won large, international fan bases.

One example of this is chronicled the award-winning, 2024 documentary “Winnebago Man,” directed by and starring UT grad Ben Steinbauer. The found footage in question consists of outtakes from a decades-old Winnebago commercial, which depicted the smooth-talking narrator breaking character and having angry, profanity-filled outbursts over mistakes made in the midst of shooting. The beginning of “Winnebago Man” shows a series of interviews with all the different people who were captivated by the film. The latter half is a search for the man himself and their interactions with him. This documentary was my first encounter with the concept of found footage, and I discovered it in a rather pedestrian place, given the esoteric subject matter: Blockbuster.

To reiterate though, found footage is the dorky home movie collecting grime in the garage. Found footage is public access VHS forgotten by time. It defies classification. It is any piece of footage deemed outside the boundaries of norms for regular consumables (i.e. mainstream movies, TV, documentaries etc.). Found footage is everywhere, but few dust it off and appreciate its singular, madcap beauty. Luckily for curious Houstonians, and with many thanks to the Aurora Picture Show, our city was on the tour route for a travelling cinematographic sideshow called “Found Fiesta!”

On the evening of Jan. 10, the kind folks of St. Arnold’s Brewery opened their doors to “Found Fiesta!”, which is a celebration of the oddest and most interesting found artifacts that the participants can gather. The exhibition took place in the form of a competition, with randomly-chosen judges in the audience voting after each of the three rounds for the participants with the most fascinating finds.

The presenters broke down into three teams. First was Found Footage Festival (comprised of Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett), then North Carolina-based AV Geeks (Skip Elsheimer) and lastly, NPR contributor and co-creator of Found Magazine, Davy Rothbard. The first two teams dealt with found film, but Davy’s finds were in the form of text. These included love letters, hand-written lists and pop quizzes, just to name a few.

Found Footage Festival’s focus was a broad one, as the name might suggest. Highlights of their presentation included a montage of violent work safety videos, a seemingly-aroused crafting lady and a public access show about a man dancing in a speedo for a cluster of bewildered senior citizens. These were all extremely entertaining, but the final two rounds between AV Geeks and Found Magazine were easily the most memorable parts of the night.

The final round saw Davy present a strikingly poignant piece of found writing that seemed to take the audience by surprise, who (if they were like me) were probably expecting more ribaldry and silliness. This particular find was a letter written by a young man named Collin addressed to his mother. The words were bursting with emotion and were anything but funny. The letter included an abbreviated life story of the author who, according to his words, had a very difficult childhood, but had finally found love. Collin told his mother that he was finally happy–that he was no longer suicidal, and it was all because of this amazing woman who had miraculously walked into his life. Now, the contents of the letter alone would have been a drastic enough change to turn heads, given the light-hearted tenor of Davy’s presentation so far, however, the story of its discovery was even more interesting. Davy told the audience that it had been sent to him by a woman who found the letter in a tree, attached to a balloon. The tree stood in a cemetery. Once the audience put two and two together, there was definitely a tender moment to be had during this evening that had so far been dominated by laughter. It was a reminder that while many found artifacts are humorous, they do in fact offer insight into the lives of real, flesh and blood people with real struggles, feelings and experiences.

The final presenter in the very last round of the night was Skip, who would not be outdone by Davy’s heartwarming letter. He pulled out the big guns. Going for an emotional 180-degree turn, Skip played his last offering. Keeping with his focus on old educational films, Elsheimer presented us with one about teaching blind children the particulars of sexual anatomy. It was the film equivalent of being redirected to lemonparty.com (a not-so-nice website for those of you lucky enough not to fall prey to this prank). A palpable awkwardness filled the dimly-lit beer hall, but naturally it was so overpowering that we all burst into laughter.

Offensive? Yes. Well-timed? Also a yes. The hilarious juxtaposition of these last two pieces definitely captured the spirit of the night and maybe even the spirit of found footage appreciation in general. For a Monday night, it was quite the outing.

Art by Blake Jones

Modern American society has been carefully engineered to spare us unpleasantness at all costs. We have taken steps to eradicate the repugnant habit of smoking in public (and we’re starting to crack down on smoking in private as well), we put warning labels on practically every product imaginable (lest we be ambushed by the confounding traces of tree nut oils in a praline) and we have been trained to trade unbridled opinions for soft, innocuous euphemisms, especially in the messy areas of race, religion and gender.  America does not like to have its feelings hurt, even at the expense of honest discussion.

The examples of this ideological intolerance are with us every day, but they are rarely as obvious as a little-discussed meltdown that movie and TV writer Judd Apatow had in January about TV series “Girls.”

Now, before analyzing the events of this outburst, it is fair to point out that the show’s star, Lena Dunham has been the object of much unfair bullying. One of these instances, which the Huffington Post points out in its coverage of the “rage spiral,” was Howard Stern’s rude comments about Dunham’s appearance in Jan. 2024. Career shock jock, Howard Stern, attacked Dunham’s looks, referring to her as, “little fat girl who kinda looks like Jonah Hill.” And if that wasn’t outrageous enough, he also said of the Dunham’s nudity on “Girls,” “and she keeps taking her clothes off, and it kind of feels like rape.”

So perhaps that was part of the pretext for Apatow and other “Girls” personnel to explode like ten tons of gasoline-soaked dynamite at the simple question one critic posed.

However, the irony of this earlier exchange is that Dunham also forgave Stern,  stating that she was a fan of his, and that he had, in her words, earned his right to free speech. Those words might come back to haunt Dunham though, after her involvement in the following kerfluffle.

The exchange in question took place at a press stop for “Girls” cast and crew at the Television Critic’s Association. As the show’s executive producers Judd Apatow, Lena Dunham and Jennifer Konner took questions from the press, they stumbled hard over the following  (verbatim):

“I don’t get the purpose of all the nudity on the show — by [Dunham] in particularly. I feel like I’m walking into a trap where you go, ‘Nobody complains about all the nudity on Game of Thrones,’ but I get why they do it. They do it to be salacious and titillate people. And your character is often nude at random times for no reason.”

Read in isolation, away from the drama that ensued, and the cast/writers’ baggage, it’s hard to see why it would cause so much trouble. The Wrap’s Tim Molloy did not call Dunham “a little fat chick,” nor did he say that, “it kind of feels like rape.” There were no “slut-shaming” value judgements about how often the show characters have seemingly less-than-monogamous sex. The reporter did not even go as far to claim that the actions were a bad example for developing young adults. These comments extended to the show’s art and writing–areas that are normally pretty safe from the chilling effect of discussing race, religion and gender in public. Yet the reaction was one that would have looked more reasonable if directed at naive, openly-misogynous, “men’s rights” activists, rather than a critic asking questions about a show’s writing and presentation.

From the reportage, it looks as if the first words out Apatow’s mouth upon hearing the question were, “That was a very clumsily stated question that’s offensive on it’s face, and you should read it and discuss it with other people how you did that.”

But it didn’t stop there. Dunham jumped in with claws fully extended, taking the response to a whole new, personal level, “Yeah. It’s because it’s [nudity] a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it. If you are not into me, that’s your problem.” Nevermind the fact that Molloy never made comments about her body, weight or general attractiveness. Dunham’s words read exactly like they might have been penned a year prior, in response to Howard Stern’s far-more-pointed comments. Unlike Stern, who had “earned his right to free speech,” there would be no mercy for Molloy.

At another point, and the timeline is a bit difficult because there’s seemingly no video here, Apatow calls the question, “Sexist, offensive and misogynistic.” The Rubicon had been crossed. There is no doubt that the panel considered Molloy to be the living embodiment of every gender-based injustice any of them had ever witnessed.

The real pity of the entire incident is that Molloy never got the chance to turn the response back around and ask a resounding, “Why?!” Apatow’s outrage in particular was not dialectical–it was axiomatic. In Apatow’s eyes, Molloy should have known better than to ask a question that did not come in the form of an award or some glowing praise. Did Molloy not know that random nudity carries with it such artistic gravitas that it is above reproach? Did he not know that eating a cupcake in one’s birthday suit is the highest calling of a liberated, young actress? The gall!

Nudity, like any trope of writing, can be overused, and is certainly well within fair territory for a career TV critic. The replies really say more about the paranoid, thin-skinned temperament of the “Girls” writing and production team than it does about any sexism in Molloy. Apatow’s self-indulgent antics do nothing more than give doubters of real sexism more ammunition. Maybe if Molloy grovels enough–if it’s not too late–he can “earn” back his free speech.

By David H.

On the 1983 Ramones album, Subterranean Jungle, the song “Outsider” has always been something I’ve connected with.  I’m not cool or hip, I’m not in the “right” circles, and I’m always looking inside from the “nerds table.”  Another year gone by, and another chance to compile what was best across the board in Houston and beyond.  As much as my ears will miss the sounds of George Jones, and my consciousness will forever be in debt to Nelson Mandela, this list will be missing an obit section.  What’s left is the best of what I saw, what I experienced, what I heard, and even what I ate.  It’s all subjective, just one man’s opinion–from the outside.

 Best Albums of The Year

 1. The Next Day David Bowie – I wish there were more artists who would take a ten year hiatus from making music.  However, I sincerely doubt that most could make their return half as strong as Bowie’s The Next Day.  Recorded in secrecy with longtime collaborator and producer Tony Visconti, the album was released only two days after the label learned of it’s existence.  In typical Bowie fashion, everything down to the cover art is a reinvention of himself.  Through fourteen tracks, Bowie marks his return with a blistering and more rock based scope than his previous efforts.  He even reworked the song “I’d Rather Be High” recently for a Louis Vuitton advert, thus proving at sixty six, he’s as solid and poignant as ever.

    2. …Like Clockwork Queens Of The Stone Age – If …Like Clockwork is the result of lying dead on an operating table, then we should hope more artists almost pass away more often.  After leaving the confines of the major label world for greener pastures at indie label Matador; QOTSA made their return with their most dark and deep album to date.  With an appearance by Sir Elton John, and upbeat tracks like “I Sat By The Ocean” and “My God Is The Sun,” the band made an album that marked a return to form.  I think this album could have been released in 1978 and it would still sound just as timeless.

    3. Bulldozer & Bubblegum Kevine Devine -  Somehow, after a successful Kickstarter campaign, Devine was able to release two of the best breaths of fresh air into a stagnant music world.  Complete with heartfelt melodies, sweet ballads, and perfectly timed hooks; this was the biggest surprise of 2024.  The Rob Schnapf produced Bulldozer, had moments where Devine seemed to channel the spirit of Elliott Smith, while adding his own sound to every well crafted track.  The more quick and uptempo pace on Bubblegum made for a sing song album that’s hard to stop listening to. The design of both albums, full with lush sounds, harmonized vocals, and pop goodness that appeared in a time when music needs it most.  I feel like I haven’t gotten chills like I did on the track :Little Bulldozer,” since I first heard the drums come in on “Independence Day” from Smith’s album, “Xo Xo.”  And I don’t think I heard another fresh sounding full effort by a band all year, like I did on Bubblegum.  The first three songs alone from Bubblegum are better than most songs I heard all year.  Both albums were released on the same day & both should’ve made everyone’s top lists for sure.

    4. I Hate Music Superchunk – I think it’s difficult to find out a band who you once loved, has a new album out.  While the previous Majesty Shredding was a great return, I Hate Music has the vibe of On The Mouth that really reels you in.  This album made it’s way at the top of my favorite Superchunk records of all time.  It has catchy and poppy moments without sacrificing the art within.  I think I sang the track “Me & You & Jackie Mittoo” for three days after the first listen. Songs like “FOH,” “Void,” and “Low F” make the most rocking Superchunk in over a decade, and worth putting into your regular rotation.

    5. Bye Bye 17 Har Mar Superstar – I don’t even know if words can describe how insanely talented this guy is.  When you listen to this album, it evokes the emotions of the 70’s era of soul and funk that’s become iconic in retrospect.  So, when a little white guy belts out such tunes like “Lady, You Shot Me,” “Prisoner,” and “Rhythm Bruises;” you have to give him mad respect.  Bye Bye 17 is the album Justin Timberlake should have made if he had the soul, or Kanye would have made if he actually revered any artist other than himself.  If you can throw on some headphones and lose yourself in the sound, you’ll definitely find the soundtrack to couplehood; or at least what you should play when you’re attempting to score.  I’d love to tell you that you’ll dislike this record, but I feel it’s too infectious to not fall in love with.

   Best Local Music

         1. Wolf House We Were Wolves – The anguish that comes from growing up in Beaumont with Houston in the distance can’t be lost on four guys who will prove to you that Beaumont makes more than fossil fuels.  Brash, unapologetic, and furious; Wolf House should come with some Advil from all the head banging it induces.  But, it’s such a tight album, you don’t care about the occasional neck pain, or the speeding ticket you’ll get from getting down while behind the wheel.

        2. This Is Your Brain On Love Fox & Cats – If you wonder what happens when a guy who likes pop rock writes songs with a girl who plays the drums like Neil Peart, then Fox & Cats are your answer.  In five songs, the duo proves that you don’t need more members to make a great record.  If this album is proof that good stuff can come from Clear Lake, then we should start looking to the suburbs for such greatness in the future.

       3. S/T EP  Brand New Hearts – Though only four songs, and released on cassette(Thank Goodness for iTunes), the former members of Ultramagg, Lucky Motors, and Panic in Detroit prove that the guitar solo hasn’t died.  It’s catchy, melodic, and strong while it reminds you of bands like Weezer, The Lemonheads, and The Replacements. Complete with harmonized vocals, hand claps, and dozens of hooks; you’ll listen to it until everyone you know either hates you, or until they become a fan as well.

    4. Slow It Down 7” The Suffers – It was a banner year for The Suffers with appearances at FPSF, The Paste Untapped Festival, and The Holiday Hangover, Hell Yeah show.  I seriously don’t think there’s a stage big enough to contain the sound of this band, and especially the vocals of Kam Franklin.  Though only two songs, I found myself jamming it in the car, on the MetroRail, and even in the kitchen while I cooked dinner.  The mix of styles on these songs would make every soulful artist from Joe Higgs to Isaac Hayes proud that someone is keeping such sounds in our ears.

    5. Trill O.G. “The Epilogue” Bun B – For all the critics that called Yeezus genius, I can only assume that they didn’t hear the actual genius behind this album.  With guest spots from 2 Chainz, Rick Ross, and Raekwon to name a few, Bun proves that great hip-hop really comes from the dirty south.  The rhyming on the song  “No Competition” alone is enough reason to buy this album, though I’m still singing the lyrics to “Fire” at least once a week.

   Best Eats

    I actually didn’t eat anything in 2024, that was new or better than what I had in 2024.  I’m also hesitant of picking new places, because so many don’t make it from one calendar year to the next.  The Best Tacos are still at Taqueria Laredo on Washington Avenue and the Best Burgers are still a tie between Stanton’s City Bites and Lankford Grocery.  I’m not a fan of trendy spots, so my favorite Sushi is at Osaka on lower Westheimer, and my favorite Indian is still Shri Balaji Bhavan on Hillcroft.  If you want the Best Pizza in Houston, you have to trek out to the burbs and eat at Tony’s New York Pizza on Jones Road, just past Fallbrook.  It’s definitely worth the drive.

   Best Journalist

    Lisa Falkenberg I would be lying, if I said that when I came across Lisa’s article, “Modest Proposal For The Lone Star Prostate” I wasn’t days from killing my Chronicle subscription.  I think it’s a mix of being a one paper town, and journalists without the guts to ask tough questions, or the skills to ask the right ones at least.  But, with Falkenburg covering the irony behind Greg Abbott’s stance on TORT Reform, to the ludicrous nature of the new Abortion laws; I renewed my subscription.  I actually find myself looking forward to reading the paper again, something that’s almost non-existent in today’s world.

   Best Moment in Houston TV

    Mayoral Debate PBS Did you know that our city has a Socialist Party?  I didn’t, but apparently; Michael J. Fitzsimmons is the Socialist Party’s idea of a good mayoral candidate.  I’m not sure which was more hilarious, Fitzsimmons’ plan to put shower facilities in Houston parks for the homeless; or Eric Dick’s “pity party” about being made fun of about one’s name.  Ironically, the same name that he uses in his ads that say, “Need a lawyer? Hire a Dick.”  There were some other people on the stage, but we all know it was between Hall and Parker; which was pretty much how the debate was directed.

    Best New Bar

     Little Dipper Anyone who’s grown up here has seen our city attempt to “revive” a downtown that hasn’t been very vibrant throughout most of our lifetimes.  A really cool baseball stadium and some shopping venues that are coupled with corporate dining and a small park; just haven’t been enough to cement downtown as a “cool” hangout.  So, when I heard that the two couples behind Poison Girl, Black Hole, and Antidote were opening a bar on Main street; I was in the least a little relieved.  Relieved because even to the casual observer, one could see that these heavy hitters could actually make a dent in such an area.  While backing the OKRA Charity Saloon and having one of the best employee retention percentages for the service industry in Houston, these guys really hit a homerun with Little Dipper.  It’s not too nice and not too dirty, Little Dipper comes off as exactly what downtown needs; a place for all.  It definitely feels like Poison Girl’s older brother, or a spot where suit and tie types can mingle with those who are tired of the youth in the montrose.  It’s certainly proof that less is definitely more.

   Best Live Performance

    Macklemore & Ryan Lewis @ FPSF I think that watching two guys mesmerize a crowd, while introducing our mayor alongside JJ Watt was one of the best sets I saw all year.  I Love Mike Watt, and so by saying that Macklemore’s performance was better than Iggy & The Stooges, says a lot from me.  I’m not a rap guy, but for about an hour, I heard people sing along, hop up and down, and stand in awe as these guys made their presence known in the best way possible.

   Best Local Show

    Open Mic Night at Warehouse Live The cast of characters that bravely grab the mic at the Tuesday night Open Mic at Warehouse Live, is immeasurable.  It was the only local show I saw all year, where all of the big and small acts supported each other ten fold.  It was also the only show where you could, FOR FREE; see up and comers like Gabe Bravo & Ashton Womack, middle of the road acts like Brian Zeolla & Jaffer Khan, and seasoned vets like Ali Siddiq, Theo Taylor, & Andy Huggins.  The support these acts all show each other was truly awe inspiring, and hilarious at the same time.

 Best Shopping

   Space & Hello Lucky I know that its rather odd to have a tie, but in the case of shopping; both shops were at the top of my list. From the outside looking in, the two shops are quite similar, yet different. Space has the beauty of having a new location filled with goods that are all American made. This includes art and jewelry. Hello Lucky offers similar items in home goods, clothing, and jewelry; yet many are made by the shop’s owner. Whether you prefer the Montrose vibe of Space or the homey feeling of Hello Lucky in the Heights, both offer great gifts at reasonable prices.

   Best Record Shop

    Heights Vinyl I think that about ninety seven percent of the albums at Heights Vinyl is severely underpriced. In an age where we’ve become complacent with the music we stream, download, or pirate; it’s nice to have a trustworthy audiophile in owner Craig Brown.  The store offers up new and used turntables, speakers, and receivers alongside records.  All of the gear comes with a thirty day guarantee and by offering such a diverse array of analog gear, hopefully future generations will appreciate the benefits of such a rich sound.  They also do repairs, and seriously have such a great selection of out of print goodies mixed with new albums, all at fair prices.

Houstonian of The Year

    Craig Hlavaty, Houston Chronicle/CW 39 I usually don’t feel like one person can make a difference in this world.  In this town, it seems that no matter how positive someone tries to be; there’s always someone who will trash what they’re doing.  Then, there’s Craig Hlavaty, the red headed stepchild of Houston media.  Tattoed, not so tall, and stocky; nothing seems to deter Hlavaty from waiving the “Houston Rocks” flag wherever he is.  I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so genuine, someone so sincere, and someone who lived what they preached in the media world.  If Craig writes about why you should go see Slayer, it’s because he’s going too.  His presence at the Chronicle feels like that cool older uncle you have that gave you your first Ozzy record.  I think his genuine nature of wearing a George Strait shirt while analyzing and professing love for “…Like Clockwork” just proves that he’s a “what you see is what you get” kind of guy.  And, his “Between The Lines” segments on channel 39’s “NewsFix” are pretty much the only reason any of us watch the show.  Hlavaty has shown us how great our city is on a much larger stage.  If the people at Tribune or the higher ups at Hearst are looking for some direction, I think we would all agree to more Craig across the board.

   Best Act of Stupidity

    The National Media There’s a reason that several generations don’t know that there’s a magazine called Rolling Stone just like there’s a reason that people don’t read newspapers much anymore.  It would be simple to say that the internet has taken many of the fellow readers away, though this year was proof that print was almost as bad as the 24 hour news channels with “cut & paste” journalism.  If you’re wondering what I mean, I’ll make it simple with two examples.  Miley Cyrus and twerking take the number one spot.  It’s ridiculous that almost every news outlet in the country claimed that Miley defiled the MTV VMA’s with her dancing.  Nowhere, was there a mention about the creepy guy in a Beetlejuice outfit who gladly let her grind his crotch, nor was there mention of the “family” programming that MTV is known for in shows like 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom 2.  No, instead shame was cast on a twenty year old girl who danced like every twenty year old girl dances in a club.

The second spot can be claimed by “Yeezus.”  Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and The A.V. Club all hailed it as a masterpiece. Which would have been notable if they had called it what it really was, terrible.  Quite possibly the worst made album I’ve heard in my life, Kanye proved that he can package up a crappy album with no cover, and critics will still kiss his ass. Keep in mind, that I call it this bad, and I’ve heard “The Elder” by KISS.  I tried at least 20 times to listen to the album, but ears aren’t ready for noises coming from nowhere, with no intent.  It sounds like a generic and lackluster copy of a BLACKIE album, if BLACKIE had no talent.  I mean, he doesn’t rap, nor does he sing on the album.  And, with the exception of “Black Skinhead,” it sounds like someone without rhyme scheme or ability to mix sounds together made it.  I should note that I have grown to like the bizarre nature of the opening track “On Sight,” but the rest of the album lacks substance or pop.  If this is Rick Rubin at his best, then he  should retire.  All of the praise for one artist from everyone, while wagging the finger at the other was shameful and bad journalism.

   That’s it, just one man’s opinion.  There were great people, great sounds, and great everything in Houston and abroad this year.  2013 was yet another year where Houston showed why we live in such an eclectic and amazing place, we can still show a little greatness; even if you’re on the outside looking in.

By David H

Usually, this close to the holidays; there aren’t many options for things to do that aren’t shopping related.  Sure, there’s ice skating at Discovery Green, and lighting ceremonies all over our city; but this week holds some really great shows. Whether it’s electro synth, rockabilly,  pop rock, or even an unlikely reunion; it’s a great week for openers here in Houston.

I think everyone who’s into synth pop stuff, will be at Warehouse Live for French Horn Rebellion on Thursday the 19th. But, if you’re like me, you don’t honk the honk if you can’t tonk the tonk.  Meaning, one of the best rockabilly/Texas swing lineups in a while will grace the upstairs at Fitzgerald’s on Thursday as well.  I would think that by now, most of you would have heard of The Reverend Horton Heat.  With a massive and impressive back catalogue that ranges from psycho-billy to swing-a-billy, Jim has been wowing crowds around the world with his stellar live shows.  I think I’ve seen his “gospel” in person at least fifteen times, and this Thursday will make it sixteen.  I’ve heard that on this tour, he’s been playing pretty much all of your favorite tunes from his past twenty plus years.  But, the Rev. alone would be enough for me, as he would for most fans.  But, you’re getting a real treat on the 19th with the cast of openers in Two Tons of Steel and especially Dale Watson.  Dale is as true to his sound as it gets, a great showman, and after a good stretch, he’s finally getting some real notoriety.  Donning a white coif of hair and a nickel covered Australian made Telecaster, Watson and his Lonestars prove that real country doesn’t come from Nashville anymore.  If you feel like country music is fading away with the recent passing of Ray Price, and the earlier passing of George Jones; Watson is proof that there’s still hope for the future of country music.  If your boots need a rockin’ or if you just want to hear real country music, then this is a must see show.  This promises to be the best twenty something bucks you’ll spend this holiday, with doors at 7:00 and Pinata Protest opening with their infectious Tejano-Billy sound as openers; you’re foolish to miss this one.

I am about ninety percent sure that if you like Say Anything, you’ll be at the Max Bemis show at Warehouse Live on Friday, the 20th.  I’m sure that most of you will be delighted to see solo sets from both Max, and his wife Sherri of Eisley fame.  Even the popped soaked goodness of their new project Perma, will more than likely bring you joy to see live.  However, the best act in my opinion of the night, is The Get Up Kids front man, Matt Pryor.  Pryor’s new album, “Wrist Slitter” proves that while it’s not 1999 anymore; he hasn’t lost the ability to still write some seriously good emo pop.  And, with his podcast “Nothing To Write Home About,” Pryor shows that he’s just as interesting as the guests he has on.  I can tell you as a guy who’s hung out with the man several times, he’s sincere, earnest, and about as genuine as a guy with his back catalog gets.  Definitely, if you’re already going, or even if you were on the fence about going; catch his set.  His new album is really great and worth the small $13.50 ticket.  The doors are at 7:00 and the show will start shortly after.

I’m not a big reunion guy.  There are possibly only a handful of acts that are worth catching live when they reunite.  But, with Houston’s past, there are at least ten bands I’d pay highly to see get back together.  One such band, is Clouded.  These guys were the bee’s knees back in the nineties, and you can see if they still have the chops to perform live; when they play the Fourth Annual Christmas Extravaganza at Rudyard’s on Saturday the 21st   I’m not really into Project Grimm who’s headlining this show; but for $6.00 I may stick around just to see their set.  Clouded was on everyone’s “next big thing” list, and if anything, it’s worth finding out where they disappeared to.  The doors are at 9:00 and the show starts at 10:00 with The Linus Pauling Quartet as openers.  Sorry kids, but you must be at least 21 to enjoy this ride.

So, I guess it seems unfair to tote the openers over the headliners; but sometimes the openers make the show.  It seems, that this close to Christmas, that’s the case this week.  It’s not a bad thing, as I have the ability to miss so many openers for some reason.  However this week, you’re best bet is to definitely catch all the opening acts, and then catch the headliners.  These openers are all proof, that sometimes it’s worth the effort of getting there early.