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Thursday , 18 July 2024
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Doomsday Wrestling Presents: TEXtravaganza!

For a decade now, our world has been saved countless times by a group of heroes. They’ve saved us from economic collapse, malicious sentient computers, gigantic armadillos, and they have even protected us from themselves. Most of us were born without super powers. Not all of us, but most of us. Maybe that elusiveness would explain our fascination with super beings throughout history. The time has come again when our world is in need of salvation, when the heroes must come again and fix the mess that we lowly humans have created. This Saturday, you’ll be able to join the ... Read More »

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INSTANT NEW GAS STATIONS DOWNTOWN

Here is one Houston-related goof on Apple Maps, which is going to need some debugging before it ever catches on. This comes to us via a tumblr called “The Amazing iOS6 Maps,” which adds the caption: “Downtown Houston’s newest filling stations on the skyline rooftops! (Those are corporate headquarters, not gas stations).” My question is:  What kind of tires are we going to need for the FPSF van to access these fine new filling stations? Read More »

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Blogging While Intoxicated: Back to the Workhouse edition

By Alex Wukman It’s rare that America’s War on the Poor becomes palpable. Sure there’s the spiraling increases in college tuition, in Texas alone tuition at state universities (you know the ones that are supported by our tax dollars) increased on average by 63 percent since the legislature decided to deregulate college tuitions in 2024. And of course there were the fights over welfare reform and minimum wage increases in the 1990s. But when those ideas were debated in the halls of government the utter contempt for the poor that legislators have was hidden behind a mask of civility. However, ... Read More »

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Cocktales: What not to wear this Halloween

By: Dr. Absinthe In just a few more days, Halloween will be upon us. It’s certainly not the only day to dress ridiculously, get plastered, and act a fool, but it is one the biggest. Most people have a clue, by now, how they will dress up but many are still rooting around, trying to find the best-or at least the not lamest-costume they can. Hell, I only started buying stuff for my get-up today. For the other stragglers among us, here are a few things to think about, or flat out avoid. Monsters or ‘retro’ clothing Boring. Oh wait, ... Read More »

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Blogging While Intoxicated: riding the Cain train

By Alex Wukman How often do you find yourself wondering exactly how early is too early to start drinking? If you’re like me, 10 a.m. this past Sunday was about the time you wanted to Irish up your coffee. For those of you who don’t aspire to be paid obscene amounts of money to pontificate meaninglessly in an increasingly irrelevant industry-or have a life-Herman Cain, Mr. Black Walnut himself, was on Meet the Press this past weekend. Anyone wondering why a man who admits that he isn’t familiar with the neoconservative movement was invited on a very serious talk show ... Read More »

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Blogging while intoxicated: Goodbye and Good riddance to Rick Casey and Steven Thomson

By Alex Wukman Houston media is a small, and always getting smaller, community. It’s not uncommon for Free Press Houston, Houston Press and 29-95 writers to share some words and a drink when we run into each other at a show or a bar. Over the years I’ve tried to remain cordial with my colleagues in the big corporate papers and when they left for greener pastures I felt that some of the things that made this city great had left as well. That is not the case this week. The Houston Chronicle’s “Metro Columnist” Rick Casey will be publishing ... Read More »

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Blogging While Intoxicated: Broseph and the Mantini edition

By Alex Wukman Two Weeks Ago: “Where’d you get your information,” snarls the tanned, blonde late-20s guy with the popped collar polo shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops. We’re at Liberty Station drinking and talking politics, well I’m drinking and he was talking politics to his friends until I interrupted by telling him “Hitler wasn’t a Marxist, Leninist or a Socialist. He was a right wing fascist.” I tell him I got it from a history and government class I took in college. “Pshaw,” let’s call him Broseph says. “University. More like liberal indoctrination factory.” He swivels in his bar ... Read More »

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Blogging While Intoxicated: Glenn Beck moves to Texas or another reason to stay the hell out of Dallas

By Alex Wukman Down in the content mines where I slave away for 10 for a $1 Ramen, left over cigarettes and warm beer (yes that is how we get paid) there are some stories that you hope are true. And there are some stories that you pray are rumors, and when it was announced that Glenn Beck was considering moving to Dallas I was praying that it was a rumor. I really didn’t want another paranoid right-winger to call Texas home. It’s bad enough that creationists are in charge of our science education, the legislature wants to turn every ... Read More »

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How to photoshop boobs onto Barrack Obama and Stephen Colbert while hacking the XKCD website to legalize pot

By Alex Wukman (inspired by Dan O’ Brien and Michael Swaim from Cracked dot com) Since I work at the internet I like to think I know a little bit about it. At times I even like to say I have a personal relationship with the internet. I know that thousands hundreds dozens  some  a few of our readers think they have a personal relationship with the internet. They’re wrong. They believe a personal relationship with the internet is taking the internet out for a few drinks, it’s not. A personal relationship with the internet is more than rolling into ... Read More »

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