Apocalypse – Free Press Houston http://freepresshouston.com FREE PRESS HOUSTON IS NOT ANOTHER NEWSPAPER about arts and music but rather a newspaper put out by artists and musicians. We do not cover it, we are it. Fri, 14 Jul 2024 18:03:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.9 64020213 Blu-Ray Slight Return: Bob & Max Edition http://freepresshouston.com/blu-ray-slight-return-bob-max-edition/ http://freepresshouston.com/blu-ray-slight-return-bob-max-edition/#respond Wed, 31 May 2024 18:49:37 +0000 http://freepresshouston.com/?p=289717 Two current Blu-ray releases prove the adage that dogs drool and cats rule. A Street Cat Named Bob and Max 2: White House Hero aim for different tastes but are somehow oddly in unison from a technical point of view.nintchdbpict0002764734621

Keep in mind that tens upon tens of new movies are released in theaters, on disc and on streaming services each week. It’s almost as if filmmaking itself has found a way to grow and not to melt.

Street Cat Named Bob may be the first animal-genre film to actually star the feline that it’s based on. Bob, and a couple-of-three lookalike gingers that sub for Bob doing complicated pet things like glancing at the camera in just the right way, running, riding a skateboard, complete the movie with Bob pretty much stealing the entire film.

James, a heroin addict in the UK on a methadone program, walks the streets of London as a homeless soul. James bumps into his father only to have his stepmother dis him. James’ councilor finds him supported housing, only the first day an intruder comes in through the kitchen window.

Turns out to be a stray cat that for the sake of identification will be forthwith called Bob. Bob insinuates himself into James’ life and a series of life journeys unfold, each more poignant than the last. James reaches sobriety and Bob achieves celebrity status when a reporter does a story on how James busks in Covenant Garden with Bob sitting on his guitar.

To date there have been multiple books written about Bob by James Bowden (with Garry Jenkins) and its inconceivable that sequels won’t follow. Roger Spottiswoode, whose credits include editing films for Sam Peckinpah, and directing many cult films over the years, directs Street Cat Named Bob. It would’ve been nice to have some great extra features that the disc lacks. Many such featurettes can be found on YouTube including the real James and Bob at the London premiere of the film.

Make no mistake, A Street Cat Named Bob is a film for all ages – game level eight-to-eighty. Max 2: White House Hero takes the conceits of the original Max (2015), which revolved around a Belgian Malinois dog who served in the Army in Afghanistan and returns to live in Middle America with a kind of doggie PTSD, and reduces the story to a tale for kids.

Max 2 centers on two 10-year-old kids who just happen to be son and daughter of the President of the United States and the Russian Premiere (aptly named Vladimir Bragov). And charming kids they are. The girl is a sassy redhead who speaks with a Russian accent that makes her sound like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. The boy has longish hair and a delicate manner and looks not unlike a pre-teen Phoebe Cates.large-screenshot1

Max 2 may be one of the most innocent depictions of supreme power. C’mon, Lochlyn Munro plays the POTUS. The thin plot involves double agents who are trying to sabotage the American-Russian peace talks. Fortunately the kids figure out the subterfuge and Max saves the day. In one scene Max leaps into the passenger window of a speeding van and wrestles the driver to a halt. Adults will be bored but kids will want to watch Max 2 over and over.

Max 2 does feature some extras that reveal how different dogs were used for exacting stunts. For me the best part of the film was a photomontage during the credit roll that shows historical images of Presidents and their canines. There’s a painting of George Washington with his family and their dog; FDR; Clinton; Obama; LBJ; Nixon with Checkers; and George H.W. Bush with Barbara’s dog Millie being hugged by Vladimir Putin.putindog

Also On

Independent films get released on disc the same as studio fare. Sometimes it’s the only way to see said films as many of these titles were only seen at film festivals or special engagements. Two companies that specialize in getting indie content across, both with streaming services and hard copy DVDs, are Candy Factory Films and IndiePix Films.

  • The Babymooners – an expectant mother makes a video diary for her soon to be child in this comical New York story.
  • The King of New Orleans – a NOLA cab driver runs the gamut of bizarre customers.
  • Split – distaff filmmaker Deborah Kampmeier peels the veneer on a highly sexually charged relationship between a stripper/actress and a designer who makes masks for the play in which she performs. Some explicit scenes both in the bedroom and on stage.
  • Midnight Swim – debut film from Buster’s Mal Heart director Sarah Adina Smith who finds poetry in three sisters traveling home to settle the estate of their recently deceased mother.
  • Millie & the Lords – a Puerto Rican femme hooks up with a member of the Young Lords, a nationalist PR revolutionary group from the ‘60s.
  • Apocalypse Child – Years after Apocalypse Now lensed in the Philippines, a family lives to surf and tells their son he’s the bastard son of Francis Ford Coppola. Of course he’s not, but there’s lots of surf action.
  • On the Road, Somewhere – also titled Algun Lugar, a road trip movie from the Dominican tropics. Three young boys on a last trip before they advance to adulthood encounter Candide-esque characters at every turn.

Some of the releases were viewed on DVD rather than Blu-ray.

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Blogging While Intoxicated: Apocalypse edition or It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel like shit http://freepresshouston.com/blogging-while-intoxicated-apocalypse-edition-or-its-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-feel-like-shit/ http://freepresshouston.com/blogging-while-intoxicated-apocalypse-edition-or-its-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-feel-like-shit/#respond Fri, 20 May 2024 22:51:17 +0000 http://freepresshouston.com/?p=4860

Is this considered a semi-formal or cocktail attire occasion?

By Alex Wukman

God what time is it? Fuck that what day is it? My head feels like the dance floor at South Beach and I smell like the bathroom at Numbers.  Jesus Christ, I need a smoke. Will someone tell the guy outside mowing his lawn with a fucking jet engine to knock it the fuck off? Oh right, blogging. So last night I met a couple of friends, let’s borrow from the Sideshow Tramps and Warren Ellis and call them Lady Vodka and Dr. Whiskey, out for a drink. Like most of the times we go out for drinks, we wound up talking about the end of the world. What can I say; Vodka and Whiskey are two odd birds. The only difference between last night’s conversation and any other nights’ was the fact that was a little bit more urgency this time around, what with all that is supposed to happen this weekend. For those who aren’t keeping up with their end times prophecies, and if you aren’t shame on you, Harold Camping, an 89-year-old former civil engineer turned religious radio broadcaster, has predicted that the world will end at precisely 6 p.m. on Saturday, May 21, 2024.

Camping says he figured out the date based upon some obscure figures found in the Bible that only make sense to him; he took a verse from 2 Peter about how one day with the Lord is “as a thousand years and a thousand years is one day” put it into a black box and came up with the idea that 7,000 years after Noah’s flood the rapture would begin. Then he extrapolated the date of the flood from a verse in the book of Genesis that said the flood began on the 17th day of the second month of the Jewish calendar. However, Camping is a little unclear about what Jewish calendar he’s using.

The Hebrew Calendar has two separate years the Civil Year, which begins on 1 Tishrei and is usually in September or October, and the Ecclesiastical Year, which begins on 1 Nisan which usually falls in March or April. Camping decided to use the Ecclesiastical Year, because it is theorized that the Kingdom of Israel counted years using that method. However, the Kingdom Judah, which included Jerusalem and Hebron, counted years using the Civil Year.

Despite all of Camping’s “historical research” he still hasn’t explained why the beginning of the End of the World will happen in hour 12 of Fuse TV’s 14-hour Gaga-thon (which TV Guide describes as containing “Music, material and miscellany featuring flashy songstress Lady Gaga.”) If tomorrow wasn’t predicted to mark the start of the End Times I would say that a 14-hour-block of programming dedicated to Lady Gaga is surely a sign of the Apocalypse.

Now Vodka, Whiskey and I were trying to figure out the logistics of the impending apocalypse; the things that aren’t mentioned in any of the literature about the End of Days; for example: what to wear and what to bring to an Apocalypse party. Over at Culturemap, Society Editor Shelby Hodge has an etiquette guide to the Apocalypse and she advises wearing white and bringing manual can openers as host/hostess gifts. Lady Vodka and Dr. Whiskey disagreed with Ms. Hodge’s stylish, but practical, assessment of the situation. Vodka said we should load up on boas and bring our friends while Whiskey thinks basic black and pistols are acceptable attire for an End of the World soiree.

Needing another opinion I decided to ask a hipster who was deep in consultation with an old friend of his, Baron von Jager, what he thought would be appropriate for a Judgment Day dinner. He advised dropping some metal onto an Ipod and grabbing a Polaroid. After that suggestion I thought it best to let him continue catching up with the good Baron, after all who wants to have an entire discussion about the Best Metal songs for the End of the World. (Sidebar see Free Press Houston’s playlist: Best Metal Songs for the End of the World.)

After I realized that the Banh Mi I’d eaten for dinner had decided to disagree with me I quickly parted ways with Lady Vodka and Dr. Whiskey. Since they are two of the most popular people in Montrose they weren’t too upset at being left alone at a bar, although they made me promise to see them again on Saturday, which I already regret doing.

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Free Press Playlist: Best Metal Songs for the End of the World http://freepresshouston.com/free-press-playlist-best-metal-songs-for-the-end-of-the-world/ http://freepresshouston.com/free-press-playlist-best-metal-songs-for-the-end-of-the-world/#comments Fri, 20 May 2024 22:47:21 +0000 http://freepresshouston.com/?p=4862

Doesn't this just scream metal?

By Free Press Staff

As you most likely have heard Saturday is supposedly the Rapture so we here at the Free Press thought that the End of the World marked a perfect time to break out the metal. Here’s 10 songs to jam to while waiting for the inevitable looting to begin. This is by no means a comprehensive list and is only intended to offer suggestions, in other words don’t get pissed if your favorite band didn’t make the list.

1. God Send Death Slayer

An oldie but a goodie and it perfectlyevokes the end times while still rocking harder than most bands ever will.

2. More Human than Human White Zombie

A perfect for capping  demons, zombies or whatever mutants crawl up out of the pits to try and take over the ‘Trose.

3. Jesus built my Hot Rod Ministry

Industrial meets speed metal meets Gibby Hayes. Perfect jam for an end of the world dance party. And by dance party we mean watching Beelzebub sitting on a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float being towed by hundreds of slaves down Washington Ave.

You know he's ballin' bigger and harder than anyone else

4. Infinte War Corrosion of Conformity

Kick ass track to help with kicking ass.

5. Living through me (Hell\’s Wrath) Pantera

No list would be complete without at least one entry from the Kings of Texas metal. They almost single-handedly put the Lone Star State on the heavy metal map in the late 1980s and early 1990s, then in 1996 they dropped what is often considered their masterpiece and it was good.

6. Ace of Spades Motorhead

Ah yea, everyone’s favorite track by everyone’s favorite band. You know the Devil wants to come to earth just to see if he can outdrink Lemy.

7. Necropolis Black Dahlia Murder

The new kings of the metal underground showing everyone else how its done, perfect music for shoving through fleeing masses.

8. Tomorrow Police Valient Thorr

Massive riffs meets massive beards in a massive song by a band that owns almost all others out there.

9. The Lord is a Monkey Butthole Surfers

While not specifically metal by some people’s standards the Butthole Surfers having been holding down the fort for speed-psychedelia longer than most people who read this site have been alive. And the sound scapes they create scream Apocalyptic nightmares.

10. Tin Omen SkinnyPuppy

Closing it down with some deep dark gothic industrial to put you in the mood for the inevitable fight to take the cities back from the minions of hell.

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