It came and went so fast this year, Free Press Summer Fest.  The festival was over before I realized how many acts I saw in just two short days.  Though it was hot, though I had to reach out to photographer Trish Badger for some pics, and though the festival grounds felt huge; when it was all over, I was glad that I went.  Here’s what I saw.

So, to start things off I took the rail, and by judging who was on the train with me; I was one of the few who had actually done this festival before.  I transferred to a bus that dropped me off right across from the festival grounds, thus proving that planning ahead is always key.  I used this route both days actually and it was a great way to get to the festival and away from it.

I started things off by watching The Suffers murder with a killer set on the Saturn stage. If this band isn’t the biggest thing to come outta’ Houston since that lil old band from Texas, ZZ Top; I’ll definitely be shocked. They even dropped a Selena cover complete with Kam singing in Spanish.  I followed that with The Sword, who played hard enough to set off car alarms. They were super enthusiastic with the crowd, which is always nice. I went to catch Dpat drop his deep grooves, as well as put on new material. Complete with a drummer & guitarist, the producer quickly proved why he gets so much praise.  The Welcome To Houston crew was who I gave attention to next, and they didn’t disappoint. Backed by The Suffers, the collective felt more prepared than last year, and each rapper topped the next.  One of my day’s highlights was hearing no less than fifty people talk about the crazy set from Gio Chamba, thus proving that he found a way to go harder than he usually does.

Gio Chamba                                                                 Photo: Courtesy of Artist

I got lucky enough to grab a close spot for Tears For Fears, who dropped all their hits. They played a bunch of covers too, which was odd; but overall they were definitely pros. I was also impressed with the crowd they drew, as I thought they would go unnoticed by much of the younger crowd. I watched Chance The Rapper really bring his a game to the fest. He was a million times better than the last time I caught him, and he really put on a great show. Of course, one of the bigger highlights was a beautiful performance from St. Vincent. Though I already knew that she would be impressive, it felt like she really wanted to be here when she played, and continuously engaged the crowd while she performed.

As the evening got closer to ending, I made my way over to watch Charles Bradley. I said early on that he was a sleeper in this fest, as I knew he was a performer first and foremost. One of my day one highlights, Bradley performed a top notch set and kept the audience on their toes with each blisteringly passionate song. I then got to get side stage for Mastodon, who quickly made it apparent why they were on the bill. Their set was truly amazing, and they played a mix of deep cuts and hits; that felt like they called fans to ask them what to play. I closed day one with a crazed set from Steve Angello, who was definitely worth waiting for. Complete with smoke, streamers, and a crazed light show; Angello was definitely the best way to close out day one.

FPSF Crowd                                                                                  Photo: Trish Badger

On day two, my body wasn’t down to get to the grounds early, so the first act I saw was Diarrhea Planet. As usual, they didn’t let me down while they burned through their hits and their newer material with ease.  I caught a bit of Future Islands which was nice, before watching The Mountain Goats go crazy. They played a true set for fans, by bringing classics and fan faves out for their set. In fact, it felt like one of the best times I’ve seen the band. I then got to watch Flume drop jams like they were in a dance club. I was seriously impressed with how much energy they brought while getting one of the bigger crowds of the day to actually dance.

Moji                                                                                   Photo: Jonathan Beitler

I caught a handful of songs from Flogging Molly, who as always put on a great show. Then I heard people talking about killer sets from George West, Moji, and Guilla which was nice to hear. I got over to the other side of the grounds as quick as possible to catch the tail end of the GTA set, and I was really glad I did. They were one of the few bands that I knew little about. Watching them go off was definitely a surprise, thus proving that a fest is still great for music exploration. I decided to stick around for G-Eazy, who I was also glad I saw. Because a friend begged me to go see him, I lucked out & caught a really great set.

FPSF Crowd                                                                                  Photo: Trish Badger

Of course, then it was time for Major Lazer, who didn’t disappoint in the slightest. The whole production of visuals and intense beats really came to life, while the trio continuously invited the crowd to participate. This set from the group however, was much more intense and energetic than the last time they played the fest.   For everyone who felt like they could miss out on this performance, I hate to tell you that you missed an amazing set.  I had decided early on in this to take the time out to watch Belle And Sebastian, and I was pleased with my decision to trek the festival grounds to see them play.  Their set was more than I was expecting, in that they really seemed to pull out the stops.  Playing fan favorites both new and old, they were definitely a stand out set that I hope everyone got to catch.  I found myself trucking back across the grounds to watch Tycho, who as usual, didn’t disappoint.  Like every other time I’ve watch the producer, he brought great visuals and great jams that made his performance another stand out.  It was also really cool to see that he drew a good crowd, and especially a crowd that came to dance.  I think I saw more people dancing on his set than I did for the bulk of the two days.  This brings us to the biggest divide on the festival, Skrillex at 8:40 and Weezer at 8:50.  I watched Skrillex for twenty minutes before I decided to catch a bit of Weezer.  But, in those twenty minutes, I had my mind blown by not only the intense visuals that Skrillex displayed, but also his insane energy level.  It helped that he had cameras all over him covering his every move, which there was plenty of.  He bounced around, bopped his head, and seemed to be having the time of his life while he rolled through favorites and remixes with ease.  I walked over to catch one song from Weezer.  I love Weezer, and it was cool to see Rivers don a beard, but in all honesty; it was hard to walk away from Skrillex’ amazing set.  And, that’s where I ended the festival; watching Skrillex bounce around and play like he was happy to be there.

All and all it was a great FPSF this year.  Of course it was hot, my phone’s network was shot, and did I mention the heat?  But, that’s to be expected at an event with the word, Summer in the title.  I was lucky enough to get my hands on more than enough water to keep me hydrated, as well as eating hookups from friends old and new.  As far as next year goes, I feel like the organizers have a tough act to follow as this was one of the more diverse lineups in the event’s history; but also one of the best they’ve produced so far.

The one thing about the Houston music scene, is that there’s more than enough room for acts of pretty much every genre.  There aren’t too many times when you hear an act though, who has crossed so many together, that they have created their own thing.  However, with Houston three piece Moji, the way in which the band mingles R&B, jazz, soul, and South American rhythms generates an overall sound that stands on its own.  When Moji told me that the EP, titled “Desert Son” that I watched being recorded was finished, I of course jumped at the chance to listen to an early copy.  Recorded at Houston’s famed Sugar Hill and overseen by Josh Applebee, what I walked away with was the feeling that acts with their own sound come to it on their own terms.  And in the case of Moji, those terms were magical and uncompromising.  The route the three take with the drum rhythms that David Garcia employs, the various guitar structures that Troy Craegh creates, and the sheer vocal prowess that Moji herself makes use of is something that while you can’t pigeonhole; is completely fresh and inventive.

The three piece doesn’t waste time in starting things off in their own special way.  Anyone who’s seen the band live can attest to this completely different approach to music, which is ever present on the opening and title track, “Desert Son.”  Thunderous drums that kick things off from Garcia as the group begins the song, Moji’s sweet yet thick vocals permeate from the track as it sways between an uptempo to a slower bridge.  Troy’s guitar acts as the go between on the song while the vocals and the drums do their own thing.  The jazz structure of the song reaches a climax where all three are at the same tempo causing a build that feels like it may never peak.  There’s a certain tribal nature to the song’s build that Moji cuts through like a hot knife to butter with vocals that seem otherworldly.  When the song draws to its end, just soft vocals that seem to sing you to sleep are met with gentle guitar, and thus making the song something completely different than anything you’ve heard before.  The same could be said about the almost Barney Kessel type guitar that opens the second song, “Constellations.”  Craegh takes the guitar for a walk while Garcia keeps time in the background.  These spacey notes are seasoned with Moji’s emotionally tense vocals, that give the song a completely exotic feel.

Around the third song, “I.O.U.” I would guess that you would hear the influences of the likes acts like Herb Alpert and Sergio Mendes have on the band.  That’s a good thing, as the samba meets R&B sounds that emanate from the group haven’t existed in popular music in such a long time, that they feel fresh and new.  The way the band finds a way to create these notes makes it all their own. There’s the feel of being in Rio during Carnival with Nina Simone as the grand marshall to the tune, which is such a beautiful place for any song to take you.  Though the third song is a stand out, the same could be said on the fourth song, “Ceasefire.”  The first track I heard from the band, the song sounds heavenly on this release, where the emotion of Moji’s voice mixed with Garcia’s work behind the kit & Craegh’s grumbled guitar make a sound that make you feel like no other act could create.  Added to this version is a breakdown jam that has more percussive work and spacey guitar than I recall.  However, it works and gives the song a whole new life while Moji sings to the stars while she takes you to a whole new universe.

The three piece closes the five songs off with the more R&B inspired vibe of “Free.”  The way in which the guitar is played gives the song an almost basslike quality before it gets utilized more like a guitar.  The pop of the drums are in the mix alongside Moji’s vocals that sway in and out like a bird in flight.  With a moment in the track where things feel like a structured jam, it ends before you can blink and bring the release to a close.  It almost ends too quickly, but one could argue that the band believes more in the idea of “leaving the listener wanting more;” in that the way the song closes things, it at least feels proper.

Though the EP won’t be available to the general public for a couple of weeks, the band has decided to offer physical copies up to all who attend this year’s Free Press Summer Fest.  You can grab your own copy as well as catch this mesmerizing act when they perform Sunday June 7th at noon on the Mars stage at the festival.  And from the sound of this release, you will have plenty of chances to watch them on stages even larger in the future.

Well, we’ve braved the wet weather & the heat to bring us to the week that so many people look forward to; the week when Free Press Summer Fest goes off.  While we all know now that the festival changed locations from Eleanor Tinsley Park to NRG Park (Yellow Lot), I can attest that the team behind the festival is working nonstop to insure that you have just as much fun at the new location as you did at the old.  This year artists like Skrillex pictured above will be getting the audience excited while we all try to navigate the festival grounds in the best way possible.  However, there are other options this week for those of you who don’t plan on attending.  Here’s how to cure your boredom this week.

Wednesday, you can kick off your week at MKT Bar, when Thomas Truver of the band Second Lovers drops a DJ set.  Truver and the rest of his band have been working tirelessly to finish their upcoming album, as well as work on a killer set for this year’s Free Press Summer Fest.  Last week FPH debuted a new song from the band here, and this nights are always fun and entertaining.  He’ll also spin that track as well as hand out FREE Second Lovers merchandise.  The all ages event gets going around 7:00 and is 100% FREE.

Or you can get down at  Toyota Center, when Bachata singer Romeo Santos drops in to town.  Santos is insanely popular, he’s known for an intense live show, and his latest album “Formula, Vol.2” is his most popular to date.  There’s no word of an opener yet, but the doors are at 7:00 and tickets are between $49.50 and $150.00.

The Summit will have the funk rock of Houston’s energetic Handsomebeast.  The five piece act is one that hearing the energy that emanates from their albums just means that they’re an act you should catch live sooner than later.  Their latest, this year’s “Sexy Face Reaction Time” is an experimental jam that doesn’t seem to lose its speed from start to finish.  They’ll have new band Phoebe feat. members of Moths, PopeNQM, and more on the bill with them, as well as the hip hop of San Diego’s  Jon Black.  The one man band of Chicago’s Room 101 will also be on the bill, as will Permanent Vegetative State.  The post rock punk of St. Louis’ Staghorn opens the all ages show with doors at 8:00 and a $5.00 cover.

The Shop will be sending Houston hard core band, Dress Code off on tour in style.  The band just released the “Perception” album, and they sound like a high energy live show from their old school punk sounds.  The show will also have the punk of Houston’s Primal League on as direct support, as well as the hardcore of Paranoid Chant.  Hardcore punks, The Pose will be there to open things up, while Fat Tony will prove how next level he is by spinning records between the sets.  The all ages show has an $8.00 cover and things get going around 8:30.

Ministry                                                                                    Photo: Liam Cannon

Thursday you can feel like “Everyday Is Halloween,” when the industrial disco of Ministry stops off at Warehouse Live.  Of course, you aren’t going to hear that song, but you will more than likely get gems like “Thieves,” “Psalm 69,” and “Burning Inside.”  At one point, it felt like for the three albums, “Land Of Rape and Honey,” “The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste,” and “KE*A*H**(Psalm 69);” that Ministry was going to take over the world.  However addictions, members coming and going, and two poorly received albums stopped all of that.  Uncle Al (Jourgensen) had stated at one point that the band was ending, only to pull a Gene Simmons and keep things soldiering on.  All of that aside, they still stand as one of the best bands I’ve ever seen live…though that was twenty years ago.  Their latest studio album, “From Beer To Eternity” from 2024 is pretty good for a band that’s been around for over thirty years.  Houston industrial rockers, The Hunger will be on hand as direct support.  These guys were around when I was in high school, and their latest album, 2024’s “Finding Who We Are,” falls in line with their work from the past.  The always impressive, DJ Damon Allen will open things up with a dance party.  The all ages show has doors at 7:00 and tickets between $69.69 (get it?) and $75.00.

Over at Walter’s you can get your groove on when New Orleans’ instrumental hip hop producer AF The Naysayer comes in.  AF dropped the amazing album last year, “The Autodidact Instrumentals Vol. 1” and he puts on an insanely great live show.  The electronic hip hop of Metatron Sic-Hop will bring their “a game” from New Orleans.  Last year they dropped the amazing release, “Velvet City” where they echoed a mix of JJ Doom and Q Tip.  Houston’s PersephOne will bring her quick mic skills to the show, and should be dropping new jams from her upcoming project with Josiah Gabriel; who’ll be backing her up at the show.  Nikkhoo will be there to release his sick mic rockin’ abilities to open the all ages show.  The doors are at 8:00 and the cover is $7.00.

If you’re up for comedy, then you could head to Joke Joint Comedy Showcase to catch Austin comic John Ramsey.  Ramsey has appeared all over the place including Comedy Central, Conan, and Nick at Night.  He’s won accolades on a slew of comedy fests, and he’s known for a strong set of laughs.  For some reason, a magician from Minnesota named David Harris will be the feature act.  Side note, comedy & magic don’t mix.  One of Houston’s better up and coming comics will serve as host on the show.  There’s an 8:00 show on Thursday, two shows on Friday at 8:00 and 10:30, and two shows on Saturday also at 8:00 and 10:30.  All of the shows are 18 & up with a $16.00. cover charge.

You can catch the only improv troupe in Houston with their own weekly show, when the Beta Max crew performs over at Beta Theater.  Comprised of Antoine Culbreath, Hoja Lopez, and more; these shows are usually hilarious and entertaining for anyone who attends.  Things are always BYOB and the doors are at 9:00.

On Friday things get started when MKT Bar hosts a launch party for La Nova ReThink! Tile.  The tile collection is street art on a tile, and sounds really cool.  They’ll also have DJ work from a handful of local artists on the all ages event.  Things kick off around 6:00 and it’s 100% FREE.

If you like pop punk, then you could head to House of Blues to see the 21st anniversary of Wichita Falls’ Bowling For Soup.  It’s hard to believe that these guys have been around over twenty years.  If you’re having trouble remembering the band, they had the hit songs “1985” and “Stacy’s Mom.”  I will say that they’re pretty entertaining live, and their latest album, a retrospective called “Songs People Actually Liked Vol. 1-The First Ten Years” reminds you of them more.  Florida’s The Dollyrots will bring their pop punk to life as direct support.  The female lead act dropped “Barefoot & Pregnant” last year, and they have a crazy amount of energy live.  The alt rock of Dallas’ Ivory Tribes will open things up on the all ages show with doors at 7:00 and tickets for $20.00.

Warehouse Live will be hosting the hip hop of Atlanta’s  O.T. Genasis.  Though he originally was a part of 50 Cent’s G-Unit label, Genasis didn’t really take off career wise until he met Busta Rhymes.  You probably know him from his hits “Touchdown,” and “CoCo.”  His latest is this year’s “Ricky,” and he should make for an entertaining live show.  He’ll have Houston’s own, Doughbeezy as direct support.  Last year’s hit single, “I’m From Texas” just proved how great he is, and 2024’s full length “Blue Magic” still sounds as fresh as it did when it was dropped.  DJ Mr. Rogers opens the all ages show with doors at 7:30 and tickets between $30.00 and $100.00.

Melt Banana                                                                             Photo: Jeff Matarrese

At Fitzgerald’s, they’ll be bringing in the Japanese noise rock band, Melt Banana.  Though they have been around for over twenty years, their 2024 album “Fetch” saw the band reach new heights in popularity.  Their latest, a singles collection from this year called “Return of 13 Hedgehogs” reminds you of their sounds over the early 2024’s.  San Diego three piece Hot Nerds will be on the bill as direct support.  This band really reminds me over another noise rock band from the nineties, Brainiac.  Their latest is the odd yet magnetic sounding album, “Strategically Placed Bananas” from earlier this year.  Like Melt Banana, they’re known for a crazy live show.  Houston’s P.L.X.T.X (pronounced Pluto) will open the all ages show with doors at 8:00 and cover for $15.00.

Rudyard’s will host a birthday party of sorts when they have the horror punk of Houston’s Brumes perform.  Brumes makes the kind of melodic punk that’s not really the kind that’s pop punk, but it’s also not Misfits sounding either.  Complete with female vocals, they’re a band I’d say check out sooner than later.  The hardcore of Houston’s Dead To the World will also be there, and they’ll bring their crazy high energy as well.  I caught these guys perform in front of 10 people once, and they did so like it was in front of ten thousand.  Austin’s Black Irish Texas will be there to perform their Dropkick Murphys brand of music.  They released the 2024 EP, “An Ode To Saint Cecilia” that really gives you a better idea of their mix of sounds.  Jason Bancroft and the Wealthy Beggars will be there to bring their road weary travelling songs to life.  Last year they put out the amazing album “This Machine,” that sounds like if Bob Dylan wrote an album and had Chuck Ragan perform the songs.  The 21 & up show has doors at 9:00 and a measly $8.00 cover.

The Cajun fueled chaos known as Feufollet will be making people get down over at Continental Club.  So, this five piece, that sounds like a ten piece, has been in the business since some of them were 11 years old.  Known for an intense live show, they’ll be here in support of this year’s “Two Universes.”  Though from the Southwest side of Louisiana, they make cajun folk meets Americana, and it’s definitely it’s own thing, but worth checking out.  The 21 & up show has doors at 9:00 and a $12.00 cover.

Mastodon                                                               Photo: Courtesy of Motley Zoo

Saturday of course, is the first day of the 2024 Free Press Summer Fest.  Without running through the slew of bands you could see, I’m just sticking to who I’d suggest that you see.  First off, you should get there early to see as many locals as you can.  By catching Deep Cuts at 11:30 on the Saturn stage, or seeing Second Lovers at noon on the Neptune stage, or even watching We Were Wolves at 12:20 on the Jupiter stage; you’re experiencing Houston’s finest.  If those set times are too early for you, then you should at least catch local fave, Gio Chamba at 1:20 on the Mercury stage.  Gio is like if Carlos Santana, Tom Ze, and Tito Puente dropped acid and procreated.  He’s seriously one of Houston’s best performers, you’re foolish if you miss out on his set.  On the Jupiter stage, Houston’s Catch Fever will bring their celebrated pop rock to life when they perform at 1:30.  I just watched them at Wonky Power Live, and I have to admit that their tightness blew me away.  You should definitely catch The Suffers on the Saturn stage at 2:10 if you’ve never seen them, as their live show is pretty damn impressive.  Austin’s doom metal rockers, The Sword will be on the Neptune stage at 3:00, and as someone who’s seen them at least ten times, you should watch them go hard.  I love all of their albums, though the concept album from 2024, “Warp Riders” is still my favorite.  At 4:20 on the Mercury stage, Houston’s Dpat will drop some of his luscious slow jams.  Part of the Soulection crew, nominated for a Grammy at 22, and one of the best producers you can see; his 2024 album “In Bloom” is music to make love to.  At 4:40 on the Neptune stage you could catch the massively popular sounds of NYC producer RL Grime.  Just check out his jam “Tell Me” and I’m sure you’ll wanna’ see what he’s all about.  Setting this festival apart from every other fest, we have the Welcome To Houston show that will have tracks backed by The Suffers.  I mean, Bun B, Scarface, Devin The Dude, Slim Thug, Paul Wall, Z-Ro, Lil Keke, Lil Flip and Mike Jones on one stage at 5:30 at Neptune?  Sounds like a no brainer to me.  Possibly the sleeper of the day, because I’m sure people won’t know; but Peaches is known to put on a crazy live show.  You can find out “what’s in the teaches of Peaches” and more when she takes the Mercury stage at 5:40.  On the Neptune stage, you can fall “Head Over Heels” for the iconic sounds of Tears For Fears.  These two have received all of the awards, all of the accolades, and all the love before; but you should know that this is a huge “get” and worth checking out, as they should be amazing.  If hip hop is more your game, then the gospel-rap of Lecrae will blow your mind over on the Mercury stage at 6:50.  This guy’s 2024 album “Anomaly” debuted at number one, just proving again that the Houston rapper is one of our city’s best going.  If you have a Fancy Pants band, I beg you to go catch a set from Tycho in the Fancy Pants performance tent at 7:00.  This guy is intense, his live sets are legendary, and hearing him drop tunes from last year’s “Awake” in that close of a proximity is insanely cool.  At 7:50 over on the Mars stage, you can get your mind blown by the hip hop of Chicago’s Chance The Rapper.  Knowing how I’m all about Houston hip hop, I’ll say that this guy can bring it, and should be worth checking out.  At 8:00 on the Saturn stage, one of the best performers you’ll see all day, St. Vincent will bring her craziness to life.  I’m serious, even though I didn’t call her 2024 album “St. Vincent” “genius” like everyone else; she puts on a crazy live show, that I’ve seen twice and was impressed both times. Another sleeper on the festival, Charles Bradley And His Extraordinaires will hit the Venus stage with tons of soul and R&B.  This guy is a legend, he brings that sweet Motown era soul to life, and his latest “Victim of Love” keeps the legend alive.  At 9:00 on the Neptune stage, the heavy metal and high energy of Mastodon will take over the festival.  If you haven’t seem them prior or you haven’t heard their latest, “Once More ‘Round The Sun,” you will be after watching these guys go hard when they perform from that album and more.  Ending day one, you have a tough choice to make.  On the Mars stage, R. Kelly will be performing his set, and will be blowing people away when he does.  Kelly has been relevant for over 25 years, he throws a hell of a party when he performs, and his latest “Black Panties” from 2024 is pretty great.  Of course, the house producer known for one of the best live shows going, Steve Angello will be also blowing people away when he performs on the Saturn stage, also at 9:50.  His latest, a single from this year called “Payback” has already been called amazing from everyone, and is massively popular.  The choice is yours, but either way; day one should be amazing.

If music festivals aren’t your deal, then you could venture over to Discovery Green for the Maravilloso Water Festival.  The Saturday show features water dancing, a crazy light show, and a floral display that will dazzle the eyes.  More information is here, and the all ages event gets going around 4:00 and it’s 100% FREE.

Warehouse Live will be hosting the country twang of Kansas’ Zach Emery Band.  Emery is a Nashville recording artist who plays a soulful brand of country music.  He mixes Americana, folk, and C&W with ease, and his album “Kansas Is My Home” proves all of that.  He’ll be joined by Grant Harrison of Magnolia.  Harrison plays an acoustic pop folk kind of sound, and he has a really nice ring to his music.  His “In The Clouds” EP is worth checking out, as it echoes artists like David Gray and Jack Johnson.  The all ages show in the studio has doors at 7:00 and is 100% FREE.

House of Creeps will host one of the Terraform parties.  This edition will feature a bunch of sounds from the likes of Houston’s Layer, Houston’s Daed, Austin’s Detox Unit, Shuniya of Austin, and Houston’s Psillysubbin.  There’s tons more happening outside the venue, and the entire night will be christened with visuals from FLCON FCKER.  Things kick off around 7:00 and it’s a paltry $5.00 cover.

The Gypsy Kings will be bringing their insanely energetic live show to town over at Arena Theatre.  So, I caught this French seven piece about ten years ago, and I was shocked at how diverse they were.  You will know them from their hits like “Bamboleo,”  “Volare,” and “Djobi Djoba.”  Of course, they also do an amazing Spanish cover of the Eagles classic, “Hotel California.”  They’ll be here in support of last year’s “Serana” that just proves that they’ve still got it.  The intense sounds of Connor Kennedy will be there as direct support.  Kennedy plays a pretty great blend of blues rock that’s all over his 2024 album, “Live In Utopia.”  The show has doors at 7:00 and tickets between $35.00 and $79.50.

Major Lazer                                                             Photo: Oliver Minnett

Sunday, also known for many of you as day two of Free Press Summer Fest, you can make it back to NRG Park to see as many locals as possible.  This kicks off with an almost two hour set from Hiram at 11:10 on the Mercury stage, or the Children of Pop/Josiah Gabriel collab Kult Dizney on the Neptune stage at 11:40, or maybe the soulful sounds of Moji at noon on the Mars stage.  Any one of those three acts should get your day two started off right, if not all three.  Over on the Saturn stage you can catch the Americana sounds of Houston’s Buxton at 12:10.  So, these guys just dropped the straight forward and more rockin’ sounding album, “Half A Native,” and you’re silly if you don’t catch them live…cause’ they’re awesome, and that album is equally as amazing.   I’d strongly suggest following that up with the 12:50 performance from Houston’s Guilla on the Venus stage.  Guilla dropped “Rap, Trap, and Drums” last year, he’s collaborating with everyone, and he’s a true force to see live while he proves that the Houston hip hop game is changing for the better.  At 1:10 on the Mercury stage, you should watch the mesmerizing sounds of Houston’s George West.  This guy drops deep jams and plays live drums all over his recently dropped “George West” album in a way that you should see before he blows up after his upcoming South American tour.  The Tontons will take the Saturn stage at 1:30, and prove why they keep getting heat from everywhere.  Check out the track “Pony” from their latest album “Make Out King and Other Stories Of Love,” to fall in love with them sooner than later.  Follow that with the highly energetic sounds of San Diego’s Rocket From The Crypt on the Neptune stage at 2:10.  RFTC was always the best live band in the nineties, and after watching them at FUN FUN FUN last year, they could regain that title back.  Listen to 2024’s “Live From Camp X-Ray,” or 2024’s “Group Sounds” to get an idea of what you’ll be seeing.  They just dropped an album with Sonny Vincent called “Vintage Piss” as well, and they’re seriously not to be missed.  The electro folk pop of Grizfolk will be on the Venus stage at 2:30, and their album “From The Spark” might make you want to catch their set.  The sleeper on Sunday, is the six piece garage rock sounds of Tennessee’s Diarrhea Planet, who play the Jupiter stage at 3:20.  How could you not love a band with four guitarists?  Their 2024 album “I’m Rich Beyond Your Wildest Dreams,” alongside me telling you they’re really great live should be enough for you to see their set.  You’ll have to decide if the folky and often rock fueled sounds of The Mountain Goats on the Jupiter stage at 5:00, or the crazy U.K. garage meets deep house sounds of Australia’s Flume on the Mars stage also at 5:00 is where you’ll be at.  The dance music of Miami’s GTA will be dropping ass shaking sounds at 5:30 on the Mercury stage, and their “DTG Vol.1” album should convince you on seeing them.  Following them, Oakland’s massively popular rapper, G-Eazy will go on at 6:40 also on the Mercury stage.  Listen to his insane album, “These Things Happen” from last year, and you should hear why he’s so popular.  Of course, I’m guessing most of you will be over at the Mars stage to see Diplo rock it with Major Lazer at 6:50.  I shouldn’t have to oversell this act, but I will say that I’ve seen them kill on several occasions.  at 7:40 on the Neptune stage, Scottish band Belle and Sebastian will be there to wow you with their swooning sounds.  This year’s “Girls In Peacetime Want To Dance,” just proved that this band is just as strong and inventive as they were when they started off long ago.  Do yourself a favor and watch a set from Tycho over on the Mercury stage at 7:50, as he’s known to go off and go hard.  Closing the evening, Skrillex will do his thing over on the Mars stage at 8:40.  Again, I shouldn’t have to really sell this guy as he’s known for his intense live show.  Or, you could catch the rock of Weezer, who again, I shouldn’t have to really sell to you happening at 8:50 on the Saturn stage.

If again, you decided not to attend the festival, then you could head to MKT Bar to watch local funny man Barry Laminack host the Beta Theater comedy show.  This will be the live taping that features plenty of local comics getting started at 7:00 and is 100% FREE.

Warehouse Live will have the hip hop of California’s Kyle over in the studio.  The massive popularity behind his 2024 album “Beautiful Loser” shows why he’s dropped a slew of singles this year.  there doesn’t appear to be an opener yet on the all ages show with doors at 8:00 and tickets between $15.00 and $20.00.

If you’d rather get your punk on, then you could catch Institute over at Black Barbie.  The Austin four piece is seriously good with their kind of eighties throwback sound.  Like if Joy Division and Minutemen had a baby, if that helps.  Their “Salt” EP from last year is something you should check out before going to see them.  Houston’s Back To Back will be there to loudly drop tunes from their upcoming album.  If you’ve never seen these guys, you’ve been missing one of the better punk acts in town.  Their 2024 EP, “Narcissist” is something every Houstonian should have a copy of, cause it’s pretty damn intense.  The anarcho punk of Houston’s GAST will be there as well.  Things will get started off by the noisy tunes of Maramuresh.  The show is all ages, the doors are at 9:00, and the cover is $8.00.

Denzel Curry                                                                       Photo: Justin Staple

Monday, the South Florida hip hop of Denzel Curry will be in the studio at Warehouse Live.  Curry has been getting praise since he dropped “Nostalgic 64” in 2024.  He’s supposed to be pretty great live and he should make for an entertaining evening.  There’s no opener listed yet, but that should change sooner than later.  The all ages show has doors at 8:00 and tickets between $18.00 and $20.00.

Tuesday you can head to Warehouse Live for the always popular show, The Moth.  This edition is all about something that backfired.  So plan your five minute story about something that went awry, and get there early as it tends to sell out quick.  The doors are at 6:30, and the all ages event has a cover between $8.00 and $16.00.

Walter’s will be bringing the iconic punk of Sloppy Seconds.  So, this four piece has been around for over thirty years, and they’re really great live.  Their latest album, “Endless Bummer” from 2024 just proves that a band can be seriously inspired by Ramones and still sound good.  The punk rock of Houston’s Donkey Punch will be there as direct support.  Sleaze punk four piece, Dogz on Parole also of Houston will be there, as well as Houston’s Charger Fits who’ll be opening things up.  The all ages show has doors at 8:00 and tickets for a paltry $10.00.

That’s about it for this week.  There’s more than enough happening around town, but whatever you decide, please do it in the most responsible way possible.  If you’re attending the festival, please stay hydrated at any one of the FREE water stations on the festival grounds.  Where sunscreen because of the obvious, and remember that this event is all about having fun so act like an adult and use the golden rule.

This year, I felt like the best way to introduce some of the local acts on Free Press Summer Fest, was to actually hear from them directly.  While this series will drop regularly until the day of the festival, not all of the local artists will be interviewed.  FPH already interviewed some of the acts, and others are household names around town.  Others, like Hiram, are more known than you’d think.  The young producer recently dropped his old moniker, Yung Slutty in favor for one a little closer to home…his real name.  Part of the Prints NotPrince crew, the sounds this guy makes are the kinds that either make you wanna’ move, make you wanna’ make love, or make you just wanna’ chill in the Summertime with your homies.  Houston, get to know Hiram below and what he has in store for this year’s FPSF crowd.

FPH: You’ve actually done the festival before, but under your old name, Yung Slutty.  Is this the first big event you’ve done under the new name & why did you change it?

Hiram:  It’s actually the first booking I get since the name change…crazy. I basically just grew up. I’m a full time elementary school music teacher now. I love my job to death and I didn’t want to keep such a big part of my life a secret from my students or parents. Now I can really blossom into the mango tree that I am.

FPH: Your music has the vibe of the traditional slow jam dreamscape, can you describe your sound for those who aren’t familiar with you?

Hiram: It’s somewhere along the lines of R&B drums with tons and tons of layered synths. Although my DJ sets are radically different than the music I make, I’m working on bridging that gap by taking all those influences and adding my own flavor to it.

FPH: Since the name change, you’ve dropped a couple of singles, will we see a Hiram album anytime soon?

Hiram: Well, as of right now I’ve been sending demos out here and there. I actually just sent one out to the Red Bull Music Academy with an application that I put my entire heart and soul into. Wish me luck because I’ll be crying whether I get accepted or not. I almost cried when I was at the post office mailing it off! I’d say another 3-4 song EP wouldn’t be farfetched by the end of the year…but I don’t think an album will be ready.

FPH: You’ve said that you aren’t defined by a single genre, and to you, genres are dead; can you elaborate on that and what you mean by it?

Hiram: A few years ago I started realizing how often I saw DJs jumping back and forth from what’s popular. I decided to just start playing what I wanted and not putting so much focus on whether or not it’s a “banger”. Genres are dead to me because I don’t just listen to one style of music all day. I don’t just see one particular genre or song as a large influence on my music. I get inspired by everything I hear…sometimes it’s not even music. Sounds are inspiring. Dolphin sounds are inspiring.

FPH: Who is Hiram and what plans do you have for the project post FPSF?

Hiram: I’m Hiram. That’s my real name. I figure this is the way to show people what I really love and feel passionate about. I’ve actually been contacting a lot of my internet friends that are producers and asking them to contribute to a collective I started with a good friend of mine. Although it’s not ready for the launch, the website and a compilation will both surface at the same time. Expect it this summer. Along with that, I’ve been taking a pretty large role in a monthly party called A Really Kool Party at Fox Hollow which is focusing on bringing new flavor to Houston. In the last three months we had Lakim (Soulection), Mikos Da Gawd (Soulection) and DJ Shortkut (Beat Junkies). Other than that life has been pretty regular. Just eating a lot of unhealthy food and stuff. Shout out to Whataburger. Seriously.

FPH: What do you have in store for the crowd at FPSF and will you incorporate anything like visuals into your set?

Hiram: Hahaha I’m just going to say that 2024 was seriously a warm up. Expect some very different music from me at FPSF. If you want a taste, I’ve been recording little 10-15 minute sessions in my bedroom after work and posting them on my soundcloud. Go get some flavor y’all. THERE WILL BE WATER GUNS! There will probably also be some merch that I’ll be throwing out. As far as visuals go, I’d love some! It would be incredible to be all glitched out on those big screens. Time to hit some homies up about that!

You can catch Hiram on this year’s festival as one of the opening acts that gets the days started.  You can like him on Instagram here, or follow him on Soundcloud here.  When the schedule of performers drops, definitely keep an eye out for when his set is, as well as keep your eyes on what the young producer has going on after the festival.  With jams like his and a festival appearance so early on, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing much more from Hiram.

You may have heard of this festival we throw with Pegstar every year called Free Press Summer Festival. Us and tens of thousands of our closest friends get together and basically chill, listen to some great music, and have a next-level shindig. Some of us even dance. Well, the time has come where the lineup gets released so we thought we would put together this handy guide to all the musical performers. We have worked long and hard on this lineup and have to say out loud that we are pretty proud. The child in me has only two words: Tears for Fears. Obviously the child in me is bad at math but so is the adult. Anyways, buy your pass now because we have sold out the last two years. Holler at us.

BUY PASSES NOW

Skrillex

Sonny Moore, former leader of post-hardcore band From First to Last, found a new audience in 2024 when he started performing high-energy dubstep under the alias Skrillex. The music is comparable to that of EDM heavyweights like Deadmau5 and Rusko and has so far earned him a whopping seven Grammy awards. “Recess”, his latest album, was released in March 2024.

R. Kelly

Known as the ‘King of R&B’, with songs like “Bump n’ Grind” and “I Believe I Can Fly”, Kelly started his career in 1989 busking under Chicago’s El track. In the beginning, he had help from backing band Public Announcement, before embarking on a highly-successful solo career in 1993 which has so far earned him three Grammys, two American music awards and one BET award.

Weezer

Mixing emo, power-pop and alternative rock, Weezer formed in 1993 Los Angeles helping to fill a sonic void left by the dwindling of grunge. Their self-titled ‘94 debut, affectionately known by fans as “The Blue Album”, set a quirky, oddball precedent for their careers with songs like “Undone – The Sweater Song” and “Buddy Holly”. Their latest record “Everything will be alright in the End” was released in the fall of 2024.

Steve Angello

Angello is probably best-known as a founding member of the now-defunct Swedish House Mafia, who are most popular for progressive house ballad “Don’t You Worry Child” which took American radio by storm in 2024. He is also active as a producer and solo artist. His latest record “Wild Youth” was released in April.

Major Lazer

Major Lazer is an electro-dancehall duo formed in 2024, featuring world-renown DJs Diplo (US) and Switch (UK). They are known for their outrageous music videos and a star-studded list of collaborators which includes Bruno Mars, Wycleff Jean, Peaches, Ezra Koenig (Vampire Weekend) and many more.

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

Signed to Virgin Records in 1992, Ben Harper has made his name as a purveyor of beautifully crafted, acoustic guitar tunes incorporating funk, soul and reggae. On his latest record “Childhood Home” he teamed up with his mother, Ellen Harper, for a series of nostalgic folk duets which should remind listeners of The Everly Brothers and Pete Seeger. He holds three Grammys.

St. Vincent

Winner of the 2024 Grammy for Best Alternative Music Album, St. Vincent is the stage name of Anne Erin Clark, who got her start as a member of Texas’s Polyphonic Spree and also as a member of Steven Sufjan’s touring ensemble. Since going solo in 2024, Clark has released four art-rock solo albums, in addition to “Love this Giant”, an acclaimed brass-heavy collaboration with Talking Heads ex-frontman David Byrne.

The Decemberists

Started in Portland, Oregon, by vocalist Colin Meloy in 2024, The Decemberists have grown to become arguably the most popular and influential indie folk band of their time. After releasing their first full-length record in 2024, “Castaways and Cutouts”, the band went on to be signed by notable indie label Kill Rock Stars and are now on Capitol Records. Their latest record “What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World” was released in January 2024.

Flume

Flume is the stage name of Australian electronic musician and producer, Harley Streten. He released his self-titled debut full-length in 2024, which ended up going double platinum in his home country. Streten’s main influences are house and U.K. garage music. He has collaborated with the likes of Chet Faker, Moon Holiday and Jezzabell Doran.

Belle and Sebastian

Scottish indie-pop duo Belle and Sebastian were formed in Glasgow in 1995 and released their long-anticipated 9th studio album “Girls in Peacetime Want to Dance” in January after a five year hiatus. Their whimsical pop songs are known for flourishes such as strings, wind instruments and wonky synths.

Mastodon

These Georgia-based kings of contemporary sludge created a stir in 2024 year for combining twerking and metal for the first time ever in their music video “The Motherload” supporting their sixth album “Once More ‘Round the Sun” which was released last October.

Chance the Rapper

Chicago’s Chancelor Bennett, a.k.a. Chance the Rapper, made his name known on the international hip-hop scene in 2024 with his second mixtape “Acid Rap”. In 2024 he toured with Childish Gambino and has worked with Action Bronson, Justin Bieber, and Madonna.

Tears for Fears

This Bath-based synth-pop duo is one of those special bands that defined the ‘80s for many people. With timeless pop songs like “Shout”, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” and “Mad World” these gentlemen have approximately 257 times the shelf-life of most pop produced today.

Band of Horses

This Seattle-based received a grammy nomination for its 2024 record “Infinite Arms” and employs a light-hearted yet atmospheric indie-folk style not unlike Rogue Wave or Marching Band. They’ve received recognition from NPR, Rolling Stone, Paste Magazine and Filter for their music.

Welcome to Houston featuring Bun-B, Slim Thug, Devin The Dude, Z-Ro, Paul Wall, Mike Jones, Scarface, Lil Flip, Lil Keke, and The Suffers.

‘Nuff said.

Gary Clark Jr.

Since starting his career in 1996, Austin, Texas’s Gary Clark Jr. has become a well-known face of modern Texas blues while paying tribute with his playing and singing to fallen legends like Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Clark’s music has appeared in major Hollywood movies such as Clint Eastwood’s “Trouble with the Curb” and he even appeared on stage as a performer the recent Sophia Vergara flick “Chef”. In 2024, he won a Blues Music Award for best contemporary male blues artist of the year.

Charlie XCX

Based out of the UK, lovely, raven-haired pop siren Charli XCX began her career in 2024, playing her first gigs at illegal warehouse raves in London. Since then, she’s come a long way, contributing vocals to Iggy Azalea’s international smash hit “Fancy” and writing and performing the equally successful “I Love it” with Swedish pop duo Icona Pop. She has also released three full-length albums, the latest being “Sucker”, which was released in December 2024 to extremely positive reviews.

Flogging Molly

Highly regarded for their high energy live shows, this seven piece Irish punk bands hails from Los Angeles. The band gets their inspiration from traditional Irish folk groups like The Dubliners, classic Celtic punks The Pogues and even Johnny Cash (only in America). The band plans to release their sixth album sometime in 2024.

Sturgill Simpson

Simpson got his start in 2024 as the leader of Kentucky bluegrass group Sunday Valley. After a few years, he took a break from music to work in a freight yard before growing disillusioned with that job too, going back to his former band and then onto a solo country career in 2024. Simpson has two albums, the latest of which (“Metamodern Sounds in Country Music”) may be the first-ever country record to feature lyrics about being dismembered by reptilian aliens.

G-Eazy

Oakland hip-hop artist and producer G-Eazy started producing music in 2024, during his sophomore year at Loyola University in New Orleans. He has collaborated with artists like Lil B and The Cataracs. His most recent album “These Things Happen” came out in June 2024.

RL Grime

Grime is an NYC-based trap musician who started producing music under the alias in 2024 with EP Grapes. His November 2024 full-length debut “Void” features collaborations with an eclectic group of artists including Big Sean, Boys Noize and How to Dress Well.

Brandi Carlile

Brandi Carlile is a singer-songwriter from Ravensdale, Washington, who started her music career in 2024 and was almost immediately signed by Columbia records. In 2024, Carile won a Seattle City of Music Award and “Outstanding Music Artist” for her album “Give Up the Ghost”, at the 21st GLAAD Media Awards. Her fifth studio album “The Firewatcher’s Daughter” will be released in March.

Odesza

Since 2024, Seattle-based electronic duo ODESZA have combined heavy, danceable beats with ambient psychedelia. Harrison Mills and Clayton Knight started the project during their senior year at Western Washington University and have two full full length albums and one extended play under their belts. ODESZA have also created remixes for Beat Connection, Sia and Pretty Lights.

Future Islands

Frontman Samuel T. Herring started the new wave-inspired electro-pop outfit Future Islands in 2024 while attending East Carolina University in Greenville, North Carolina. Their latest record “Singles” came out on 4AD in March 2024 to near-universal acclaim, achieving an impressive 82% Metacritic score. David Letterman was deeply impressed by Herring’s dancing when they played a set supporting the album in March.

Tove Lo

Singer and songwriter Tove Lo is based in Stockholm, Sweden and began a solo career in March 2024 with the release of electro-pop debut “Queen of Clouds”. Prior to this, she wrote songs for Cher Lloyd, Icona Pop, and The Saturdays.

Rocket from the Crypt

This San Diego punk band got its start in 1989, earning critical acclaim a and large following before breaking up in 2024. In 2024, they reuinted on the acid-inspired children’s program Yo Gabba Gabba! and began touring again in 2024. Members have played with legendary post-hardcore bands like Drive Like Jehu and Hot Snakes.

Lecrae

Lecrae (born Lecrae Devaughn Moore) is a Christian rap artist from Houston and founder/owner of independent hip-hop label Reach Records. Despite his love for Jesus, Moore’s brand of music is no soft serve affair. He incorporates gangsta rap, party-oriented crunk music and even hardcore hip-hop, a subgenre which places an emphasis on anger and confrontation. He holds two Grammy awards.

Portugal.The Man

Protugal.The Man may well be the most famous band to ever make it out of Wasilla, Alaska. Currently based out of Portland, Oregon, this slick indie-psych band made their major label debut in 2024 and their latest record “Evil Friends” was produced by Danger Mouse.

Tycho

San Francisco’s Scott Hansen has been dabbling in and producing dreamy electronic music since 2024, years before chillwave enjoyed its current level of mainstream popularity. Hansen’s latest record, “Awake” was released in March 2024 to positive reviews. He sometimes brings a full band to gigs for a more authentically live sound, which is notable in a world of button-pushers and knob-turners.

GTA

GTA is an electronic duo from Miami, Florida who has worked with musicians like DJ Funk, Afrojack and Major Lazer.

Glass Animals

Oxfordshire university buddies Glass Animals formed a band in 2024 which blends electronic and indie-rock. Their music caught the attention of producer Paul Epworth (whose resume includes Bloc Party, Florence + the Machine and U2) who signed them to his label Wolf Tone in 2024. Their debut full-length “Zaba” was released in June 2024.

Pallbearer

Hailing from Littlerock, Arkansas, doom metal outfit Pallbearer were formed in 2024 and made a dynamite debut with their 2024 record “Sorrow and Extinction” which earned a coveted Best New Music distinction from Pitchfork and plaudits from Spin and National Public Radio. With 8-plus-minute-long songs and a rumbling, sludgy low end, Pallbearer are on par with genre superstars like Earth and Electric Wizard.

ILoveMakonnen

Atlanta-based rap artist Makonnen Sheran came to prominence in August 2024 when Drake released a remix of his song “Tuesday”. He has yet to release a formal full-length record but has put out five mixtapes. Miley Cyrus is a self-professed fan of Makonnen’s work.

Charles Bradley and His Extraordinaires

Charles Bradley, who once made a living as a James Brown impersonator, is a Brooklyn-based soul musician who has been active since 1965. Bradley is the subject of the documentary, Soul of America, which premiered at SXSW in 2024. His latest record “Victim of Love” came out in 2024.

Benjamin Booker

Combining blues with punk and contemporary indie rock, New Orleans’s Benjamin Booker creates a soulful stew that is more than the sum of its parts. Booker has a hard-to-forget, ragged whisper of a voice and has toured with Jack White. His self-titled debut was released in April 2024.

The Riverboat Gamblers

This Austin-based punk band got their start in 1997 and earned a place on Volcom Entertainment’s roster after a rousing SXSW performance in 2024. They have played the Vans Warped Tour numerous time and have had their music featured in video game franchises like Tony Hawk, Need for Speed and Madden NFL.

Yung Lean and Sadboys

Yung Lean is an 18-year-old wünderkind rapper from Stockholm, Sweden. His music has been described as “cloud rap”, with dreamy, chillwave-like beats and textures. Debut “Unknown Memory” came out in September 2024.

Bright Light Social Hour

The Bright Light Social Hour is a psychedelic southern-rock band from Austin, Texas, with a smart, modern sound on par with bands like Heartless Bastards and J Roddy Walston and The Business. In 2024, after the famous filibuster of Texas Bill 5, they released a song commending the actions of former Texas senator Wendy Davis. Their latest album “Space is Still the Place” was released in 2024.

Moon Taxi

Moon Taxi, formed in Nashville, Tennessee, play a blend of modern, electronically-textured indie-rock not unlike Grouplove or Walk the Moon. They have appeared on Conan and The Late Show with David Letterman.

The Mountain Goats

Formed in 1991, Calremont, California’s Mount Goats are indie-folk royalty and known for their acoustic-centric, lo-fi sound and humorous lyrics, such as those on “Fall of the Star High School Star Running Back” chronicling one boy’s journey from jock to drug dealer. Their latest record “Beat the Champ” will be released in April 2024 on Merge Records.

Diarrhea Planet

Despite their name, Nashville’s Diarrhea Plant is very serious–about guitars that is. Their electrified emo power-pop is fueled by four of them. They’ve opened up for bands like JEFF the Brotherhood, Wavves and Fucked Up.

Houndmouth

Indiana-based alternative country band Houndmouth formed in 2024 and were signed in 2024 after Rough Trade Records president Geoff Travis was impressed by their set at SXSW. Other endorsements include Esquire, SPIN and even Garden & Gun. Debut full-length record “From the Hills Below the City” was released in 2024.

The Band of Heathens

This Austin Americana band was started in 2024 when frontman Colin Brooks decided to collaborate with two other gentlemen he met at local club Momo’s, where each of them regularly played separate sets. In addition to four studio albums, the band also offers a service where fans can purchase live recordings via subscription or a la carte.

Grizfolk

Grizfolk is a five-piece with members from Los Angeles, Florida and Sweden. The group produces dreamy indie pop songs with throaty vocals and dancefloor savviness. They released debut extended play “From the Spark” in 2024 and also have one live album.

Iceage

This pack of Copenhagen punks first made waves internationally with their 2024 debut full length “New Brigade”. Receiving rave reviews from Drowned in Sound and Pitchfork, they were touring the world before they world old enough to enjoy a legal beer, stateside. Frontman Elias Bender Rønnenfelt combines tortured post-hardcore cries with an icy post-punk rhythm section, resulting in a Joy-Division-meets-Rites-of-Spring kind of sound.

Pentagram

Formed in 1971, in Alexandria, Virginia, hot on the heels of other doom acts like Black Sabbath, Pentagram are a deep cut essential for anyone into sludge, metal and/or headbanging. Vocalist Bobby Leiling has been with the band’s been only constant member from the beginning, involving a rotating cast of facemelters to aid him in his dark ministry.

Ben Kweller

Former frontman of Texas “sugar metal” band Radish, Ben Kweller got his musical career started early. In fact he was writing songs by age eight and even played Letterman with Radish in his teens, who would sign to Mercury Records, despite a later fizzling out in 1999. Since then, he has navigated a successful solo career recording pop and rock songs.

Freeman

One half of the legendary experimental rock project Ween, Aaron Freeman is now doing his own thing, and it’s just as colorful and bright. He walked away from Ween in 2024, after more than 20 years making music with Dean Ween. His solo debut was released in 2024 to positive reviews.

Sarah Jaffe

Singer Songwriter Sarah Jaffe hit the international music scene when her first EP “Even Born Again” was given a nod by Rolling Stone and Dallas Observer in 2024. Jaffe is memorable for her haunting voice and use of silence/quiet within her songs. And while uncredited, she provided vocals to Eminem’s 2024 song “Bad Guy.”

The Suffers

Fueled by the soulful singing of vocalist Kam Franklin, Houston’s Suffers offer a brand of rich, Motown R&B that’s hard to come by these days. Their latest release “Make Some Room” came out in January 2024.

Tunji Ige

The music of 19-year-old Philadelphia rap artist and producer Tunji Ige is viscous and sticky like the work of the late DJ Screw.

Buxton

The Americana meets bluegrass folk sound that Houston’s Buxton has always been known for has been retired for a more focused and modern approach.  On 2024’s “Half A Native” the band sheds its skin for a new sound and a more energetic, rock-ified execution, like Delta Spirit or The War on Drugs.

Robert Ellis

A native son of Houston, singer-songwriter Robert Ellis has been on the lips of some pretty important people these days, including Rolling Stone magazine and The New York Times. His latest album “The Lights from the Chemical Plant” was released in 2024 on New West Records and combines his country-western heritage with a more contemporary rock sound.

Futurebirds

The Futurebirds formed in 2024 in the small college town of Athens, Georgia, and play a smoky brand of psychedelic folk not unlike Athens neighbor Phosphorescent. The band has played shows with Drive-By Truckers, Widespread Panic and Blitzen Trapper. They have two full-length records and one live album called “Seney-Stovall”.

Twin Peaks

This Chicago band, formed in 2024, combines power pop and rusty garage rock to great effect. Peaks alternates between the two for a constant battle between sweet and sour, calm and tempestuous–Mick Jagger and Mark Knopfler. If Ty Segall cared about making his music beautiful, it would sound like this.

Goatwhore

Blackened death metal act Goatwhore was was born in New Orleans in 1997 and is fronted by vocalist Louis Benjamin Falgoust II of Soilent Green. For all its ferocity, Goatwhore’s music still reflects its surroundings i.e. it contains a detectable sliver of southern charm.  Their latest record “Constricting Rage of the Merciless” was released in July 2024.

Con Brio

San Francisco’s Con Brio deals in lush, horn-filled grooves that will remind listeners of The Bar Kays, D’Angelo, and John Legend, all in one. They are fronted by 21-year-old frontman Ziek McCarter.

Slaptop

Starting little more than a year ago, Slaptop is a San Francisco-based dance music project that combines the suaveness of Chromeo with the cred and club horns of the Petshop Boys. iTunes named his single “Sunrise” Best New Artist Track of 2024.

The Tontons

Easily the hardest-touring band in the city of Houston, The Tontons have a sultry indie sound driven by the airy vocals of Asli Omar. Their latest album, “The Make Out King and Other Stories of Love” was released in February 2024.

Dpat

Dpat is downtempo experimental hip-hop with warped, syrupy vocals from a young Houston artist who has been nominated for a Grammy for his work with Wiz Khalifa on his song “Remember You.”

Scale the Summit

Houston’s Scale the Summit is a highly-technical progressive rock band combining atmospheric emo guitar tapping techniques with Yes-like virtuosity and post-rock. Having achieved a reputation as young mavericks, the average age of band members 22 years old.

Hiram

[Information forthcoming.]

Thelastplaceyoulook

Fronted by Justin Nava, this Houston alternative rock band was formed in 2024 and still receive heavy rotation on Houston’s 94.5 The Buzz. They have shared the stage with Cake, Bush, The Toadies and Staind, and have taken home Houston Press awards for Best Rock Band and Best Male Vocals.

DJ Fredster

As a of the founder of Boys & Girls Club DeeJays, DJ Fredster was one of the pioneers of Houston’s indie-dance scene of the early 2024s.

Gio Chamba

Gio Chamba is a Houston-based Cumbia artist and producer whose live shows frequently turn into huge parties and always feel like it even when they don’t. He works across genres to combine the music of many other cultures with his unique brand of pumping, tropical bacchanalia.

BOAN

BOAN is an American synthpop/wave duo based in Austin TX. Jose Cota, a Los Angeles native, and Mariana Saldana, a Houston native, use analog and digital synthesizers and drum machines to create lush, textured landscapes of Love and the (Post)Apocalypse.

Pope

New Orleans band Pope produces a sad brand of ‘90s-inspired alternative rock with hints of emo and noise. Think a combination of Austin’s Bedhead with the Pixies.

Night Drive

Houston/Austin duo Night Drive have pioneered their own brand of dark, synth-heavy electro pop, releasing their first single “Drones” in June of 2024, followed by their 5-song EP, “Position I”. Their debut full length is planned for release sometime in 2024.

We Were Wolves

Houston’s We Were Wolves plays blistering hard rock which sounds like a mix of Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stoneage and Austin’s The Sword.

The Vanity

Barely one year old, this Austin-based is already turning heads, having recently scored a series of opening slots for indie rock royalty Cold War Kids. They play a brand of accessible rock and roll informed by equal parts U2 and Tom Petty.

Deep Cuts

This Latin-influenced, mostly Gringo-run Houston indie-rock group was formed in 2024 and shares the vibrant, worldbeat sounds of acts like Vampire Weekend and Fool’s Gold. Their latest EP “Love Grows” was released in 2024 to overwhelmingly positive reviews.

George West

[Information forthcoming.]

Guilla

Houston rapper, producer and songwriter Timothy Russell produces an eclectic style of hip-hop influenced by his well-traveled childhood, his love for anime and videogames, and Bjork.

Kult Dizney

[Information forthcoming.]

Moji

Hailing from three different hometowns, this Houston trio has crafted a rock sound rooted in jazz and blues, peppered with R&B.

Catch Fever

Compelling indie pop with atmosphere, Houston’s Catch Fever sound like Jimmy Eat World had a baby with Two Door Cinema Club. Their latest album “Shiny Eyes” came out in February 2024.

Second Lovers

Houston folk-rock band Second Lovers formed in the summer of 2024 and are fronted by guitar player and vocalist Nicolas Morales. Their playful Americana anthems should remind listeners of acts like The Lumineers and The Avett Brothers They have one studio album “Wishers, Dreamers & Liars” which is available on BandCamp.

Prismo

Prismo seamlessly jumps between electronic genres including electro, trap, and dubstep. Despite being just 18 years old, he keeps the party going late despite having a curfew.

Since this year’s FPSF has so many bands, I’m sure it’s going to be overwhelming for a lot of folks so I’m going to try to help you out a bit by giving you some recommendations over the next three days in for National, Regional, and Local acts. The idea isn’t to be all-inclusive but to just make a few suggestions. If you want to post your suggestions for each day’s category in the comments, please do. Today, I’ll focus on the national and international acts.  Again, feel free to make your suggestions in the comments.

For the full schedule visit: http://www.freepresssummerfest.com/schedule.html

Willie Nelson

First off he’s the Patron Saint of Texas Music. Secondly, any Texan will tell you as per the state constitution every Texan is required to see at least one Willie show in their lifetime. This is your chance to be a good citizen of our state and check that off your list unless you want to go with the second option provided in our constitution which is to smoke so much weed that Willie will appear before you and give you a free concert. That’s a lot of weed for one sitting and it can get really expensive so I recommend seeing him at summerfest myself. I’m really hoping he and snoop do this one…

The Flaming Lips

Some naysayers will say “been there done that” if you saw them a few years ago at Summerfest but given how great that show was I for one could do with a second round from the Oklahoma modern psych masters. Plus this combines two stoner favorites – The Lips and Pink Floyd. If they could add one of those old school planetarium starfield generators, it would be stoner nirvana.

Snoop Dogg

Hell you already have Willie! You already have the Flaming Lips doing Pink Floyd! So I kind of figure it kind of went down like this. The FPSF command center is a buzz with activity when one young recruit becomes enraged, “Damn it people, I’m tired of all this jibber jabber. Out there in the summer heat will be a lot of high folks watching Willie and the Lips and they will have paid damn good money for some primo American weed. We owe it to those hard smoking people to bring in Snoop!” A hush falls across the room. The gauntlet had been thrown and from behind the captains chair Omar scratches his chin and says, “Make it so! …..Ahead Warp six.”

The Avett Brothers

OK, time to come back down to Earth. The Avett Brothes’ rootsy, folky rock has a woody, organic, and earthy quality that should be perfect for the 7 O’clock hour on Sunday. At that point you’ve been in the heat all weekend and overwhelmed by everything – lay down in the grass and chill homies, these cats will be a great break from all the madness.

Major Laser

To take things in another direction here, this collaboration between Diplo and Switch just make for some great ass shakin’. No, nothing really deep to this recommendation, just something to get the folks dancin’. Plus, if Beyonce samples your music, you know you are a bad ass.

Free Press Summerfest 2024
Saturday June 2 & Sunday June 3
Eleanor Tinsley Park

Saturday, June 2 – Acts include Afrojack, The Flaming Lips, DJ Bizz, Snoop Dogg, Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Bad Veins, Caddywhompus, Jeff The Brotherhood, Erykah Badu and the Cannabinoids, David Leibe Hart, Valient Thorr, The Riff Tiffs, Sundress, R3hab, Bobby Burns, Major Lazer, Two Door Cinema Club, Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Venomous Maximus, Maps and Atlases, Bang Bangz, Rusted Shut, Future Blondes, Tyagaraja, Z-Ro, Phantogram, Los Skarnales, Sister Crayon, Love Horse, Glasnost, Black Leather Jesus, Poopy Lungstuffing, Eyes Burn Electric, Zorch, Chelsea Wolfe, Diplo, Starfucker, Morris Day and The Time, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Best Coast, Turquoise Jeep, Bombon, Quiet Corral, Espantapajaros, Pale, GoREALah Soul, Lazer Cun*zz, The Eastern Sea, East Cameron Folkcore, The Big Sleep, Brains for Dinner, MC Buda Love, The Wheel Workers, Sideshow Tramps, DJ G. Wizz, Ceeplus Bad Knives, the last place you look, Zlam Dunk, The Journey Agents, Kirby Brown, The Escatones, The Annoysters, Ashes of Babylon, Clockpole, & PAPAYA

Sunday, June 3 – Acts include Pretty Lights, Primus, The Tontons, Electric Touch, Girl In A Coma, David Garza, The Avett Brothers, Shabazz Palaces, What Made Milwaukee Famous, The Watermarks, Descendents, Giant Battle Monster, Infantree, Ume, Danny Brown, The Sour Notes, Orgone, Vanaprasta, Touche Amore, Darwin’s Finches, Willie Nelson, Big Freedia, A Sea Es, New York City Queens, Jody Seabody and the Whirls, Ancient VVisdom, Last Year’s Men, Portugal. The Man, Wallpaper., The Manichean, The Small Sounds, The Grass Skirts, Square and Compass, Ponderosa, Young The Giant, LIMB, Featherface, The Electric Primadonnas, Demonic Hen, Muzak John, Fitz & The Tantrums, Fat Tony, Second Lovers, Black Magic Marker, Robert Ellis, Quiet Company, New Bruises, The Anarchitex, The Freakouts, Papermoons, The Wild Moccasins, Bart Black, Suite 709, Black Coffee, Grandfather Child, DJ Sun & Resolution, Harts of Oak, Jon Black, Immigrant Punk, Suraj K, DJ Fredster.

Channy Moon Casselle is the vocalist for up and coming darlings Polica; the The Twin cities band comprised of Caselle on vocals and a unique arrangement of backing musicians. The atmospheric stew that is Polica is 2 drummers, a bass player, and Caselle singing through a legion of effects and controlling a Macbook Pro which handles the synths and sequences. And no guitar. What you get is a wide open soundscape which gives a airy palette for Casselle’s stellar vocal range. Her vocals are both delicate and powerful while the band focuses on stirring and meditative compositions with grooves a’plenty. Polica are coming to FDitz on the 25th for a free show as their roam these fair United States. Caselle was kind enough to answer a few questions ahead of that show.

Does the dis-inclusion of the guitar from Polica’s formula allow for more or less ‘soundscape’? Explain.

It does allow us to create a more specific musical world.  The more space the more room for me to move freely with the bass. In this band I rhythm section to hold you while the vocals and the tracks hypnotize you without any distractions.

What music were you listening to when making the Polica record?

My little theme song this past year was BTSTU (Jai Paul) —but more than anything else I was listening to the tracks I was writing to.

Is switching gears between musical projects an easy feat when the music is so divergent from each other?

I want to be challenged in any work I do-I want to experiment with what I think I can’t do and collaborate/learn from as many sounds & people as possible. To change roles and “styles” pushes me in tons of ways and leads me closer to the lady I’m supposed to sound like.

Tell us your earliest musical memory from childhood.

My earliest musical memory is my dad killing some boogie-woogie piano & singing his heart out.

Sweet, sweet Dorsey.

Our illustrator Tim Dorsey is single. He has fallen in love with you. He does not have a car, has epilepsy and often blacks out naked when drinking. Yet he says he would be your man slave for eternity and would lay down on the freeway during morning traffic if you see fit. Does he have a chance?

NO ANSWER.

POLICA PLAYS AT FITZ SATURDAY FEBRUARY 25 with MARIJUANA DEATHSQUADS, TOTAL FUCKING BLOOD

FREE FOR 21 AND UP.

” The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

They say sunlight is the best antiseptic. They also say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  Why those are relevant, I don’t know. But we are proud to offer up our annual Worst of Houston list this year in our continuing efforts to make Houston a better place by exposing some of it’s worst components. We can’t vouch for factual accuracy, positive motivation, or anything else for that matter but we hope you use this list for the greater good. Feel free to let us know how you feel about these but do so ever so gently because we are only good at giving criticism and not receiving it. ENTRIES DO NOT CONSTITUTE OPINION OF FREE PRESS HOUSTON BUT RATHER OPINION OF THE AUTHOR.  editors@freepresshouston.com

Illustrations by Devin Finch

WORST HOLIDAY TRAFFIC JAM: Anything close to the Galleria, Rice Village, Highland Village, Heights, or Montrose

Yeah yeah Houston traffic is terrible, blah blah blah. Nothing original here, though I am still somehow amazed by the transformation that takes place every single year on our city’s streets during the weeks before Christmas. It’s like living in New Delhi; only replace rickshaws with cars driven by fat moms from the suburbs. Houston’s holiday traffic has officially supplanted my grandparents’ soft toilet seat as the thing on earth I find most disgusting. Who the fuck are you people? My work commute has gotten so bad I’m now listing Planned Parenthood as the sole beneficiary in my Last Will & Testament.

Side observation- I wonder if up north an actual reindeer has ever been caught humping a car with those fake little reindeer horns.

-Steve Thompson Jr. @stevethompsonjr

WORST ONLINE MAGAZINE: CultureMap

Judging by the content of its website and Twitterfeed, CultureMap wants to transform the city of Houston into the snobby whore of Dallas.  Someone should check to make sure CultureMap isn’t on the Houstonian’s payroll because the only way a country club locker room robbery gets “breaking news” status is if the country club is paying for it.  Also, when did Facebook status updates become the cornerstone to journalistic research?  CultureMap, with all of its River Oaks money, could be force for good in this city but instead it’s a force for wealthy landowners.  Shame on you Top2%Map.com.  Shame on you.

-Mills-McCoin

WORST CITY PLANNING ACTION OF THE YEAR: More Parking Spaces for No Good Reason

Whether Houston just wants to remain an oversized suburb, the Planning Commission has been huffing nitrous or City Council is letting big corporations like Target and Pappas write their laws, the new off-street parking requirements proposed this year are detrimental to this city’s growth, entrepreneurship, and community cohesion. Increasing minimum parking standards will negatively impact the use of mass transit and urban density, exacerbate drainage problems and possibly increase DUI-related deaths.

Parking ratios are based on pseudo-science handed down from one community to another without any consideration for market-based solutions. The Greater Houston Restaurant Association (GHRA), which represents large restaurants and chains, supports the new requirements, while independent restaurant owners have formed their own group, Organized Koalition on Restaurant Affairs (OKRA) to combat the new regulations. Help support an urbanized Houston by showing up to random City Council meetings and shouting or emailing them repeatedly at houstontx.gov/council.

-Sean Carroll

WORST TEXAS POLITICIAN: Rick Perry

This isn’t even a contest. In August Perry was the rising star of the GOP, his much ballyhooed prayer rally at Reliant Stadium attracted so many conservatives and media types that it felt like a Republican convention. Oh, to go back to the heady days of late summer when Perry was seen as the great white hope, a dyed in the wool conservative who could unite the base and the establishment. Ah, to remember when the GOP primary was seen as a race solely between Perry and Romney. Now flash forward just four months and no one seriously thinks Perry has a chance of winning any state besides Texas. The only thing that Perry’s continued collapse does is show exactly why he was smart not to debate Bill White in 2024; White would have eaten him alive. And now to make matters worse, word has come out that since Perry took early “retirement” he’s pulling down $200,000 a year. Apparently he gets to keep his governor’s salary and gets his pension while campaigning. And to make matters worse we’re stuck with him for at least another three years. Thanks Rick.

-Alex Wukman

WORST IGNORING OF HOUSTON’S MUSIC COMMUNITY: Revisions to Houston’s Sound ordinance

So the Mayor and City Council got together and formed a committee to explore revising the already ambiguous and inefficient Sound Ordinance. City officials, restaurant and resident associations, and other were invited to participate in the dialogue. Yet City officials failed to invite one musician, music venue operator, or anyone even closely related to the music community. So what we got was an ordinance that ignores the science of sound, the concerns of the music community, and common logic.

-Omar Afra

WORST PUBLICITY FOR A GREAT PROGRAM: Gold Card

It is actually surprising how many people eligible for Harris County’s indigent care program have no idea that it exists or that they are eligible. For those unfamiliar Harris County actually has a single payer health insurance plan for people with little to no income that takes care of things like emergency room visits and going to the doctor. It’s easy and free to apply and because the County doesn’t plaster the program on billboards all across town few people know about it. All the information and application forms are a simple Google search away.

-Alex Wukman

WORST TWEET: One down, 40 Million to go

When Bin Laden was allegedly killed, we tweeted ‘One down, 40 million to go.’ Though we thought it was hilarious and were trying to shed light on the fact that US foreign policy was killing Arab men daily, folks did not quite seem to catch the sarcasm. They also did not know we are A-rab owned and operated. We caused quite the kerfuffle.

-Omar Afra

WORST USE OF FACEBOOK: Bragging About Your Bank Robbery

Yeah, we’ve prolly all done dumb stuff on Facebook–it’s kind of made for that.  I know I have–we’ve had to dedicate whole FPH podcasts to address the stupid shit I’ve posted.  But when a teller at a bank that had recently been robbed and her boyfriend/accomplice started bragging about being rich and wiping their teeth with hundreds, they brought down themselves and two other accomplices–including another teller at the same bank.

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST FOOD VOID: Sandwiches

If it were as easy to get a good turkey and Swiss on rye as it is to grab a torta or a cheeseburger, I wouldn’t be writing this “Worst Of.” I don’t want to pay $8 for it, I don’t want to buy it from a chain. I don’t need fancy bread or twelve different meats. I just want it made fresh and close to home. I’m lazy. Quit making me do all the work.

-Andrea Afra

WORST ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT IN HOUSTON: Annise Parker’s Attack on Small Businesses

Back in 2024, I viewed my opportunity to vote for Annise Parker in the Mayoral Election as a godsend.  To me, voting for Annise Parker meant I was voting progressively.  Now, I must admit that the fact that Annise Parker is gay played a huge role in my decision.  Was that a narrow-minded view of her sexual orientation– probably; and you can bet I’ll never make the same mistake again.  In her first term as mayor, Annise Parker brought the hammer of Thor down on small businesses with the fury of the entire GOP.  She introduced a sound ordinance that serves mostly as fiendish money grab and empowered police officers beyond their stated responsibility.  She introduced a parking ordinance that encourages drunk driving and forces bars & restaurants to increase parking spots while alleviating the same burden on strip centers.  Clearly, her mission as mayor is to send Houston back a decade in time.

-Mills-McCoin

WORST PAYOLA: HEB for David Robinson

President of HEB Scott McClelland is listed as one of the campaign contributors to former candidate for city council David Robinson. Mr. Robinson happens to be the president of the super-neighborhood Neartown Association, which encompasses most of the neighborhoods in Montrose, including Lancaster Place, whose residents were appalled at his blatant advocacy for the new HEB despite his fellow neighbors’ protests. Robinson lost his run for the at large position, which is a win for Montrosians with a penchant for restoration, not gentrification.

-Andrea Afra
WORST OUTFIT FOR A BANK ROBBER: Rub-a-Dub Robber

The lack of style and pride in their appearance displayed by many Houstonians is well known.  You know what I’m talking about, and if you don’t, go to any Super Walmart after 10 pm, or any time of day for that matter, and count the number of people in sweatpants, house shoes, and spaghetti-stained puffy paint unicorn t-shirts.  Go ahead, I dare you.  So it’s no surprise, I suppose, that on October 27, a woman walked into Lonestar Bank wearing a purple shower cap and pajamas, brandishing a gun, and robbed the bank.  Our bank robbers don’t even have any style.  Think back now to the time of Pretty Boy Floyd, and Bonnie and Clyde.  The latter couple was so frickin’ stylish that a flippin’ Frenchman–a man held up as a paragon of style by even snooty French standards, Serge Gainsbourg–immortalized them in a song.

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST BEER & WINE SELECTION: Montrose HEB

As HEB waits for the beer and wine license for their new Montrose location, held up because of their proximity to the St. Stephens Episcopal Church and School, they have made good use of the shelf space they’d allotted for fun juice by filling it with their overstock of douche bags.  Douche sales have been so brisk that they are considering making the change permanent, and are considering serving douche bags, exclusively, at their still unused in-store bar.  For those who want the real stuff–check the cough syrup aisle…or walk across the street to the neighborhood Fiesta.

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST AUSTIN CHAIN TO COME TO HOUSTON: Torchy’s Tacos

Torchy’s serves ‘anglo’ style tacos that are composed of way too many cutesy ingredients, have silly names like ‘The Dirty Sanchez’, and cost upwards of 4 bux a piece. Hipsters with tattoo sleeves peddle vogue tacos with mango compotes, fried avocado, and jerk chicken. All I need is a great tortilla, good cuts of meat, fresh cilantro, and a killer salsa verde. Torchy’s piles so many trendy foodie relishes on their tacos I can’t tell what I am eating. A tip for Torchy’s: less is more.

-Omar Afra

WORST HOUSTON NEWS SOURCE: Any of them on TV

Whether it’s Channel 2 identifying the intersection of Fannin and Tuam as “Southeast Houston”, Channel 11 describing the Texans playoff berth as “The Run to the Super Bowl” or Channel 26 deciding to turn its 5 and 9 p.m. newscasts into conservative debates about such important issues as “is TV too gay” and the “War on Christmas”, local TV news sucks. Even Channel 39’s NewsFix could be fixed; more actual reporting and less TMZ voiceovers would be a good place to start. For one day, just one day, I would like to see a TV news cast focus on issues that aren’t discussed on a regular basis–like the area’s water shortage–instead of reporting gun crimes and traffic accidents. And yes murders, bank robberies and fatal accidents are important but isn’t it also important to know when we’re going to have rolling blackouts and more broken water pipes next summer?

-Alex Wukman

WORST BARS: Those that have more flavored vodkas than decent whiskey

Don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I ask you what Irish whiskey’s you carry besides Jameson’s or Bushmill’s. I don’t want your rainbow-puke inducing, eight-ingredient panty-droppers. Charge my ass more. It’s a one- pour drink, neat. If you shelve it, they will come.

-Andrea Afra

WORST TRIP OF A MUNICIPAL ELECTED OFFICIAL: Annise Parker to Israel

If you think Rick Perry is the worst Texas has to offer, think again! While Perry is a fucking homophobic moron whose low IQ makes George Bush look good, it is easier to critique his ultra-conservative ass than the so-called progressive politicians in Houston. In fact, our very own Mayor is making Perry look good by working hard to make Houston the worst city not just in Texas, but in the entire United States. For starters, what the fuck was the deal with the huge creepy red tent with which the Houston Police covered the Occupy Houston protesters?! Hiding violence against the protesters behind creepy closed tents is perhaps something Parker has learned from her mentors in Israel.

Parker, the Israeli sympathizer, is using the exact method that the state of Israel has used for decades: covering up its violence against the Palestinians with lies about being “the only democracy in the Middle East.” Not too long ago, Parker led a delegation of U.S. mayors on their trip to Israel. The American Jewish Committee, an Israeli propaganda machine that takes policymakers to Israel for “intensive learning and travel”, sponsored her November 14th to 20th trip to Israel.

Parker, who is working on building partnerships with Israeli companies, has not only learned from the Israeli apartheid regime to “successfully” manage dissent, but is eager about the way that the Israeli state has exploited natural resources stolen from Palestinians. She is fascinated by Israel’s fucking “aggressive expansion of its desalination plants” that provide Israel with most of its water. What Parker calls “reclaimed seawater” is really stolen seawater. At the same time that you are stopped at the Galleria by annoying aggressive sales people (former Israeli soldiers who have completed their military stint and had likely been murdering Palestinians) who insist on selling you stolen salt from the Dead Sea, packaged as fucking expensive skin products, the desalinated water is used to quench Israel’s greed. This is when Palestinians in Gaza do not have drinking water. And when the Dead Sea is being destroyed by Israel’s exploitation – yes folks, Israel is even killing the Dead Sea.

To make matters worse, Parker proudly announces that the Jerusalem Mayor, Nir Barkat, “wants to increase tourism to Israel’s capital city by improving ease of access and by creating destination events, like the Jerusalem Marathon.” Parker is happy to send tourists to Israel with easy access, when Palestinians’ access to their homeland is blocked at the fucking checkpoints, and when the only marathon Palestinians know is to run from the fucking Israeli “Defense” Force.

In the City of Houston press release, Parker states, “This is an opportunity to learn how we might be able to apply Israel’s model back in Houston.”

Exactly what type of Israeli model is she bringing back to Houston? What makes her think we would want anything remotely Israel-ish in our city? Did she see how Palestinian citizens of Israel are treated as third class citizens in the so-called democratic state of Israel? Did she see Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank treated like animals, caged in by a massive apartheid wall, checkpoints and roadblocks? Did she see Palestinian homes demolished, olive trees uprooted, and land continuously grabbed by Israel? Never mind the thousands of Palestinians killed and injured by Israeli air strikes, the thousands more in Israeli dungeons (many held without charge), and the racist Israeli policies that prevent millions of Palestinian refugees from returning to their rightful homes and villages, all courtesy of our tax dollars.

Of course she did not see these things. She, like any other person who tours Israel, would see a version that censors Israel’s ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians. But we expected her to know better. As a progressive mayor in a city that embraces diversity and equal opportunities for all, rubbing elbows with Zionists (aka racists) in the State of Israel – the most belligerent state in the region – is an outrage.

Oh and get this: Mayor Parker refused to meet with concern Houstonians and the Palestinian community to hear our concerns. She is only willing to give her time (which is on our clock, she is our mayor, serving us) to Israel. How Shameful.

So, congratulations, Mayor Parker! You fucking win our vote for the worst of Houston! That is the only vote you will be getting from many Houstonians, Ms. Mayor!

-Sima Shakhsari, Ph.D and Hadeel Assali

WORST MISTAKE MADE BY HPD: Arresting Ray Hill

In a year filled with boneheaded moves from HPD–from officers showing up to work tanked to the highly touted Blood Alcohol Content vans not working to covering up name tags and badge numbers at Occupy protests–perhaps the single stupidest move HPD could make was arresting a 71-year-old gay man. Arresting Ray Hill, one of the most outspoken and media savvy activists in Houston, on trumped up charges is a fast way to find yourself on the business end of a lawsuit. It seems like the arresting officer skipped the day at the academy when they mentioned that A: Security cameras are everywhere and B:  Ray Hill is one stubborn SOB who has no problems fighting it out in court for years to come. So as a public service announcement I offer this word of advice to any of Houston’s finest: unless you see Ray Hill really breaking the law, and I mean like murdering someone, don’t try and arrest him it’s only going to blow up in your face.

–Alex Wukman

WORST SON: You

Call your mother. She misses you. She cooked just for you. And now you let the food go bad and do not come to pick it up. Pick up the phone. Call your mother. Does she not have a son? Does she deserve this?

-Omar Afra

WORST ENEMY OF ‘SMALL BIZ’: City Permitting…

For the average out-of-pocket upstart business, it can take over a year of inspections and re-inspections and fees and trips back and forth from the permitting office before they get their doors open to start making money and hiring employees.  The city is nose deep in our business, literally. Use the wrong kind of screw, lose that round of inspections, wait for the next round, pay for another visit from an inspector. Want to put up a sign to advertise your location, at your location? Bend over and say ‘ah’ because that’s what it feels like dealing with the petty bullshit doled out to those who are attempting to better our local economy.

-Andrea Afra

WORST SOLIDARITY MOVEMENT: Palestine Solidarity Movement

Across the world, movements are winning important battles to condemn the apartheid policies of Israel, which has maintains a military occupation of the West Bank, Gaza, and Golan Heights, denies equal rights to Arab citizens of Israel, and denies the right for Palestinian refugees to return to their home in Israel. Houston is not one of these places where the Palestine Solidarity movement is winning much of anything. Twelve Texas House members have taken expenses paid trips to Israel including Gene Green (5 times), Sheila Jackson Lee (twice) and Pete Olson (twice), and Al Green (once). State Rep Debbie Riddle went to Israel and got a dog which she named after an elite Israel Defense Force infantry brigade. Annise Parker went to Israel and talked about how we can “apply Israel’s model in Houston.”

Even Radio for Peace Station KPFT gave a radio program to the Israeli consulate, and while a fight was made by many programmers, members, and community activists to get the station to condemn this decision and support the call for Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions made by Palestinian Civil Society, the majority of KPFT’s board chose to remain ‘neutral’ in time of great moral conflict. The Palestine Solidarity Movement in Houston was unable to get a radio station founded by pacifists and run by hippies to support Palestinian rights.

While there are commendable cultural activities related to Palestine, including the award winning Houston Palestine Film Festival, the movement to politically support Palestine in Houston of late, is primarily dedicated to protesting in front of the Galleria Starbucks.

– Rob Block

WORST FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT BROUGHT AGAINST A CLUB OWNER: The Trial of Jim Pirtle

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that someone 10 feet away from a building didn’t fall out a second story window, but when Nathan Fischer’s lawyer presented her case in early December she thought jurors were really far from geniuses. I mean really, really far from geniuses. Donna Roth, Fischer’s attorney, tried to sue Pirtle for $12 million and 47 cents claiming that it was his fault her client ‘fell out of a window’ and, apparently, drifted all the way across the sidewalk. Roth didn’t even try and explain how this miracle of physics could have happened; instead she beat up on Pirtle and tried to build sympathy with the jury by playing up Fischer’s injuries. Perhaps the most egregious part of the lawsuit was the statement that nothing Fischer did or didn’t do contributed to him ‘falling out of a window,’ or more likely jumping off the roof. When he was brought in to the ER Fischer tested positive for cocaine and marijuana and had a blood alcohol content over three-times-the-legal-limit. In other words, he had enough to drink to be suffering severe motor impairment and a loss of consciousness and then decided to either go hang around a glassless third-floor window or go climb up on a roof, and Roth said it wasn’t his fault. That’s some mighty fine lawyer work. Fortunately, the jury thought the case was bullshit and dismissed it.

-Alex Wukman

WORST SHOT: The genius that opened fire with a .40 caliber rifle at Occupy Houston

This guy shows up to Occupy Houston around 5 pm on a Monday, wearing a suit and waving a rifle, fires a couple shots into the air, fires a shot into the pond, waves the gun around at the hapless hippies occupying, points his gun at the cops who arrive on the scene, then points it at his own head before the cops take him down.  He is expected to make a full recovery…in some local mental institution.  (This one “Worst Of,” we are happy to award–it’s a good thing this fool didn’t have better aim.)

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST CASE OF OVER-PROMOTION: Free Press Summer Fest

Trust me, you are not the only one who tires of our constant over-promotion of this festival ( www.freepresssummerfest.com). After 5 months of pushing this event online, handing out hundreds of thousands of flyers, hanging posters, and telling people on the streets, we can’t bear to look at our own materials. Our cars become mobile storage sheds for these materials and we often wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats proclaiming the date and web url (www.freepresssummerfest.com). BTW, our next event is June 2^nd and 3^rd and is gonna be great. Get your passes now! (www.freepresssummerfest.com).

-Omar Afra

WORST UNION: Police officers union

I was told once that the difference between the police officers union and all other unions is that real unions tell their members; “We will support you in whatever you need as long as you don’t break the law” while police unions exist primarily to protect police members when they commit crimes and hurt people.

Most recently the police officers union has come out refusing to endorse republican District Attorney Pat Lykos, in opposition to her policy of bringing misdemeanor charges (instead of felony) in cases where there is less than 1/100 of a gram of drug residue.  To quote the blog Grits for Breakfast; “In other words, they want more tax dollars spent on police and jail staff to arrest and house more people on penny-ante paraphernalia charges. Of course they do. They are police unions.”

This policy was changed from the days when Chuck Rosenthal was District Attorney, and the Harris County Jail was sanctioned for violating inmates’ constitutional rights due to overcrowding, and we were paying astronomical fees to send inmates to Louisiana jails. That’s the kind of justice system that the police union wants- unethical, unconstitutional, and fiscally irresponsible.

– Rob Block

WORST REASON TO VISIT HOUSTON: Getting Shot in the Head By a Teabagger

We are glad that Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords continues to recover from her gunshot wound, and we are proud that local Houston doctors have been part of her remarkable recovery, but we hope she’ll come back and visit under more auspicious circumstances some time, too.

– Harbeer Sandhu

WORST RECYCLERS: You?
Drive down any Houston street on recycling day and you’ll see that maybe one out of five homes have utilized their green bins. Despite its downfalls of low frequency removal (twice a month doesn’t suffice for a family of four when you’re recycling correctly), low percentage of homes serviced, and refusal to pick up glass, all plastics, and Styrofoam, we’re lucky that our city provides this service. My old street once received a notice from the city threatening to have the recycling service revoked if more homes didn’t participate. Luckily people stepped up their game and no changes were made. One neighbor even puts a sign out ever other Monday to remind others that ‘Tuesday’ is recycling day.

Not to brag, but I have two green bins that are overflowing with recyclables bi-monthly, our main trash container is rarely more than halfway full.  I plan to call 311 to ask for another.  It’s that easy. Just call, give your address, and they’ll drop one off in a matter of days. I envy those streets that are part of the green polly-cart program, as I’d love to have one extra large container instead of dragging two or three smaller bins out to the street, spilling over with trash, but I called in to ask if the program was expanding and the answer at the time was ‘no.’

My new street has a dreadfully low participation rate in the recycling program. I plan on coming up with a creative way to encourage and inform my neighbors about taking advantage of this service. Maybe simply knowing others have noticed they aren’t recycling will prompt them to add it to their list of priorities. If they cared half as much about recycling as they do about not letting one damn stray leaf fall on their lawn, we’d be in business.

I understand that people are busy and if they aren’t accustomed to recycling, it’s simply too easy to forget.  But it’s also easy if you try.
-Andrea Afra

WORST ‘THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD’ MOMENT FOR SW MONTROSE: The impending demise of the Dunlavy Fiesta

The signage that recently appeared surrounding the shopping center containing Dunlavy Fiesta announcing that an exception was being sought to prevent the creation of cul-de-sacs at the current dead-ends of Sul Ross and Branard behind the shopping center.  The same exception was required during the development of the bloated and quasi-suburban HEB that currently blights the property across the street, and this would seem to confirm recent rumors published on Swamplot.com that Fiesta will soon go the way of Wilshire village, to be replaced by a ‘mixed use development’ comparable to the combination of yuppie hives and generic boutiques that currently disfigure much of mid-town.  Despite assurances from Fiesta store manager Barry Reichstein that the store lease extends well past the 2024 end date cited in the Swamplot piece, it seems that it is only a matter of time before most of Montrose is virtually indistinguishable from Kingwood, Pearland, or any other part of Houston’s cookie-cutter exurbs…

-M. Martin

THE WORST PODCAST THAT I LOVE: Free Press Podcast

When on the road, I live on podcasts. The Free Press Houston podcast is a low-fi piece of shit, one-microphone in the middle of a room full of guys (well, mostly guys) talking over one another, often in silly, cynical, sarcastic tones podcast – AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT! No place else can I stick a disc in my car, or hit a button on my computer, and hear more quality news, info, opinion and insight into my home town of Houston, Texas, USA – presented with the humor and irreverence I’ve come to expect from these homies.

-Guy Schwartz

WORST FRIEND: You

I left you a message. I texted you. I even tweeted. But you did not respond. Then I see you at Grand Prize hamming it up with everybody. I felt slighted. I tried my best to join in on the conversation but still felt inadequate. I bought everyone shots and you did not even say thank you. And then you ask for a ride home?

-Omar Afra

WORST LEGAL DOUBLESPEAK FROM A LAWYER: David Leebron

“Free Speech does not include the right to interfere with the expressions and ideas with which you disagree.  You will be escorted away from this forum for not respecting the fundamental principle of free speech within the university.”

— Rice President David Leebron, on November 10th, 2024, when Occupy Houston ‘mic-checked’ House Majority Leader Eric Cantor

As a former law professor, Leebron should aspire to correctly explain legal concepts.  Instead, addressing a room full of Rice students, he used an incorrect definition of the concept of freedom of speech to justify silencing people who came to speak out.

Yes, that’s the same guy who silenced KTRU on the FM dial.

Cantor had permission to speak because the university invited him. Knowing this, the protesters could do little more, non-violently, than to use their voices to delay his speech.  They bravely did so, were escorted out, and some were arrested.  The whole incident was edited out of the video provided by the University and subsequently used in the Houston Chronicle blog coverage.

Leebron asserted, as the president of the university that owns the room, the privilege of deciding which speakers do and don’t have rights there. This wasn’t about any right to freedom of speech; it was simply about property rights.   However, “we own this school and get to decide who speaks here” would have seemed a bit crude, so instead, he opted for some eloquent doublespeak.

Legally, of course, Cantor and those who interrupted him, have the exact same rights to free speech.  However, Rice’s President, with a police department, and a well-funded team of lawyers at his disposal, doesn’t have to worry about getting the law right.  He has the power to ignore it, or even twist it around backwards if he likes.

Similarly, Eric Cantor doesn’t have to worry that his positions on Israel violate international law — the United States has the power to issue exemptions.  Israel’s confirmed nuclear weapons won’t ever be discussed in the UN Security Council, but suspicions about Iran will.  Perhaps Leebron’s definition of freedom of speech is being used there as well.

-Nick Cooper

BEST/WORST PRE-PROTEST KICK-OFF: Butterfingers Bandit Robs Chase Bank

At 9:30 am on October 3, a woman walked into a Chase Bank branch with her hand in her purse, claimed she had a gun, and demanded money.  The teller handed her some cash, which she then dropped as she turned to walk out, so she cursed, picked it up, and went on her merry way, earning herself the moniker “Butterfinger Bandit” from the FBI.  Three days later, Occupy Houston kicked off with a polite, well-mannered, hapless demonstration outside the Chase Bank building downtown.  All traffic laws were obeyed, the polite bunch kept to the sidewalk and refrained from using curse words.

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST RESTAURANT EXPLOSION: Hamburgers

Little Big’s, Five Guys, SmashBurger, Beck’s, Sparkle Burger, Itty Bitty Burger Barn, Bubba’s, Lucky Burger, Someburger … it goes on and on.  Some of them reasonably priced and good and some of them overpriced over-hyped chains, but one thing is for sure, there is just a hell of a lot of them. Google a map of Hamburgers in Houston and it looks like a city with Chicken Pox.  Honestly!  I like a hamburger as much as anyone but do we really need that many places that serve ground beef on a bun?  Are we really that uncreative?

-Ramon Medina
WORST WASTE OF SCREEN REAL ESTATE ON A MOBILE APP: Rick Perry and Houston Chronicle

The extensive coverage on Houston Chronicle’s mobile app (and website) dedicated to the flawed and farcical vanity candidacy of governor Rick ‘Goodhair’ Perry for the GOP presidential nomination.

There are at least three good reasons why this is nothing more than a pointless piece of suck-uppery to the benighted Teabaggers that make up a significant percentage of the Chron’s readership–unfortunately, I can’t currently remember what they are…

– M. Martin

WORST TREND TO COME TO LIGHT: Houston restaurants not paying their staff

It seems like it’s been going on for years. Houston restaurant owners treat their waiters and kitchen staff like little-more-than slaves and the response has always been “if you don’t like it, leave.” The list of alleged perpetrators includes some of the biggest names in Houston food circles. The first to make the news was Bruce Molzan, owner of Ruggles, who had his entire staff walk out because he allegedly owed them about $15,000 in back pay. Then it was Bombay Pizza, Blue Water Seafood, Hunan Chef on FM 1960 and Brasserie 19 for failing to pay overtime. And now Houston food icon, and Iron Chef contestant, Bryan Caswell has been sued. The suit alleges that Caswell and his business partners failed to pay overtime, incorrectly calculated hours worked and forced employees to participate in an invalid tip pool.

We all know it’s hard being a small business owner. That making payroll is tough and you’d rather give a person some money instead of firing them, but the problem is if you’re paying them by the hour and you’ve legally employed them you have to pay them everything they’re supposed to get. We’ve heard it all before: waiters and bartenders work for tips, it doesn’t matter how many hours they put in they are primarily paid by the customer. Sorry it doesn’t work like that. Once they sign employment documents they are legally an employee, not an independent contractor. And when a non-salaried employee goes over 40 hours in a workweek they are supposed to get time-and-a-half. Why is it so hard for independent restaurant owners to understand such a simple concept: pay your employees for the time they work. Hell, McDonald’s understands it. And when McDonald’s makes you look bad it’s time to start fixing your shit.

-Alex Wukman

WORST MISSED OPPORTUNITY BY GREEDY CRAP-BAG REAL ESTATE DEVELOPERS: Weingarten Realty

The decision by Weingarten Realty to fill in the old inclined floor and destroy the old theater fixtures in the former Bookstop and one-time Alabama Theater on S. Shepherd, after steadfastly refusing for months to even consider the possibility of leasing to Alamo Drafthouse or anyone else who might consider using the space for a film or theatrical venue.

Given the steady decline of venue-ready properties in inner city Houston and the evident glut of conventional retail space, there’s really nothing good that can be said about this.  It was briefly rumored that the space might be taken over by a local installment of Pacific Northwest alt grocery institution Trader Joe’s, but it now seems that suburban moms in The Woodlands will have the opportunity to pick up a bottle of Two Buck Chuck (which now cost three bucks–I know) long before the far more deserving residents of the ‘Trose.

-M. Martin

WORST NEWS FOR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION ADVOCATES: Metro routes linked to TB outbreaks

It’s already hard to try and get people in Houston to give up their cars and take the bus and it only becomes harder when the Chronicle runs a story that a recent study found riders on certain Metro bus routes–the Chron didn’t say which ones–were being exposed to tuberculosis, most likely from other bus riders. TB can lead to a month long hospital stay and the need for four pills a day for six months, and it doesn’t seem like Metro is going to absorb those costs. With all the talk about reducing air pollution and creating public spaces it’s worth remembering that with the public comes public health risks.

-Alex Wukman

WORST TREND IN MUSIC DISTRIBUTION: Cassettes

Moving towards vinyl made perfect sense. It is a format of high audio quality, folks still own record players, and suddenly artwork was big again. But cassettes have none of these qualities. The only thing they have is kitsch. I hate kitsch.

-Omar Afra

WORST PUBLIC REACTION TO WHAT WAS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD THING: Tie- The sale of KTRU and the opening of Montrose HEB

OH MY GOD, apostasy! How dare you attack local and independent music in favor of secretive deals by unhip bureaucrats? How could you defend the decision to replace decades old affordable housing with a giant mega-lo mart? When KUHF switched over to an all NPR station and sent the classical over to KUHA it became something that Houston has needed for years: a reliable, non-biased news source that broadcasts verified, and verifiable, information to people stuck in traffic. And it’s become even more relevant since 740 KTRH, formerly the city’s flagship news radio station, decided to become solely right wing talk. Yes we lost a station that played alternative and underground music but we gained one that covers national and international issues without sounding like World Net Daily or a liberal version of Rush Limbaugh. Also the Wilshire Village Apartments that were torn down to make way for HEB may have been cheap but they certainly didn’t qualify as affordable housing primarily because they weren’t available. It’s hard to defend the destruction of a series of buildings that were in a constant state of disrepair and were being mismanaged by a man who clearly had psychological problems. Conversely, it’s pretty easy to support the opening of a grocery store that has already forced competitors to improve their selection and shopping experience and lower their prices. Competition benefits consumers; more choices equal low prices and laws of supply and demand win out over nostalgia and fetishization of familiarity.

-Alex Wukman

WORST MISCONCEPTION ABOUT DRIVING IN HOUSTON: Slower is Safer

There is a simple equation that explains why it is not safer to drive slowly:  less time in car = less likely to be involved in a car accident.  Inversely, more time spent inside car = more likely to be involved in a car accident.  I don’t understand, in a city defined by sprawl, why all of you insist on driving under the posted speed limit on freeways (US 59, I-10, I-45, US 290, etc.) and on major city streets.  WHY?  Don’t you want to arrive at your destination?  Isn’t that the point of driving in the first place?  I don’t even need to be racist about this issue because every fucking one of you is super guilty of this.  Bottom line: Just go.

-Mills-McCoin

WORST PLACE TO FIND OUT INFORMATION ABOUT MONTROSE: Ultimate Montrose

Needless to say it’s not surprising that the Chronicle doesn’t really get what’s important to Montrose and uses the Ultimate Montrose blog to report about how Yates High School basketball is doing. For the record, most Montrosians don’t care about high school sports and Yates is in Third Ward by TSU, not in Montrose.

It’s also no surprise that the Chronicle thinks people in Montrose care about marriage announcements, charity donations or where the League of Women Voters will be holding their holiday reception. Spend a few nights in Montrose and you’ll see what we care about, and it isn’t the society page bullshit that makes it on Ultimate Montrose. How about reporting which bars got raided by the TABC or when city crews will be out fixing broken pipes? How about letting us know when a job fair is going to be held or what scholarships are available to people over the age of 21? Hell, how about telling us where we can find a social worker to help us navigate the complex maze of government assistance so we can see a dentist and get a Lone Star card. You know, stuff that matters on the street.

-Alex Wukman

WORST DEMISE OF A LOCAL BUSINESS: Sedition Books

Houston is a city that is fueled by individualism and entrepreneurial spirit. What this frequently means in practice is people not knowing or working with their neighbors, and an attitude that celebrates the rich and accomplished has no sympathy for the suffering of the poor.

A noble experiment, Sedition Books challenged this for a number of years in Houston. Sedition’s third and most successful location on Richmond Ave. near Montrose lasted for more than 3 years as a completely volunteer run bookstore and event space for anarchist and radical politics. They hosted films, speakers, and bands from across Houston, the country, and often other countries as well. Sedition advocated a different model of organizing society; horizontal instead of hierarchical, directly democratic and attempting to be inclusive. It was a place where many people were introduced to new ideas, and saw new typ

es of projects emerge, like the Anarchist Book Fair that took place at MECA in sixth ward in April of this year.

A variety of factors including high rent, and the lack of volunteers led to the closing of the Richmond location at the end of November. The lending library has migrated to the Dragon Valley Free School in Third Ward, and the Sedition crew continues to bring books to events and is looking for a new place.

-Rob Block

WORST HYPOCRISY: City policy towards tents at Occupy Houston versus tents at Black Friday

Seriously, protestors can’t have shelter but people queuing up for a discounted Xbox can? That’s possibly the most egregious example of bullshit to come forward in at least the last two months. And before anyone jumps on the private property versus public property band wagon it’s worth pointing out that many of the parks in Houston were donated to the city with caveats, and in at least one case the land was placed in to a situation that basically amounts to a trust and the city is simply the executor of the trust. So there is an argument that could be made that the surviving members of the families that donated or entrusted the land to the city should be consulted before policies preventing tents are enacted. Oh sure there’s ‘public health concerns’, that could be easily addressed by allowing port-a-lets in the park, but somehow those concerns don’t come up when people are camped in front of a Best Buy for a week to score a cheap TV.

-Alex Wukman

WORST FUTURE MOMENT IN A MAH JONG CIRCLE: Steve Thompson Jr.’s Aunt

I recently donated platelets for my aunt at MD Anderson.  She is really sick and requires several blood transfusions a week.  Luckily, she’s related to a virtual vital fluid Superman, as I learned when my platelets tested as a match for hers.  According to the doctors, the viability of my platelets was “off the charts,” something I took to mean I possessed a sort of life saving super power, and not at all what they tell every donor so they’ll come back.

My only concern is what’s going to happen now that I am part of her!  My cells are living and growing within her body!  We are one and the same!

What’s going to happen when all she wants to talk about in her Mah Jong group are boobs and college football?

– Steve Thompson Jr.

WORST BUS ROUTE: 34 Crosstown

A friend of mine said that the 34, which runs along Montrose between the Heights and the Museum District, exists in no useful dimension. When you wait it never comes and when you walk it comes right away. The idiosyncrasies of Schrodinger’s bus aside, the 34 has the worst schedule of any bus route inside the loop.  It only operates Monday-Friday until 7 p.m. and it doesn’t run on weekends. Metro seriously doesn’t think anyone in the Heights wants to come into or out of Montrose on a weeknight or that anyone in Montrose needs to go to the Heights on Saturday or Sunday? It’s a classic chicken and the egg problem: Metro says there isn’t enough ridership to warrant expanded hours but without expanded hours how can you estimate ridership? Hey Metro, I’m sure the cabbies running people from the Heights to Montrose and vice versa appreciate the business, it’s just a shame you don’t.

-Alex Wukman

WORST OSTENTATIOUS SCARFACE VILLA / PRETENTIOUS WINE AND COFFEE BAR: BACCHUS

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to visit one of those ostentatious Montrose loft townhomes?  Wonder no more!  Now you can go to Bacchus and experience the “high life” for yourself!  As if the imposing white exterior with primary color accents wasn’t enough to make it stick out in this neighborhood of traditionally humbler bungalows and cottages, if you miss the views of the sky that this monstrosity has choked out, step inside for a view of “Mediterranean” cloud frescoes that look like a third grader painted them.  Treat yourself to some of the Illy brand coffee that they brag about on their website–I understand it’s the Nescafe of Europe.  Word on the street is they’re about to sign a contract with a select winery that’s going to make them your only local connection for some of that fine fine Sutter Home vintage wine, too.

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST SUMMER: Right here, 2024

Holy shit it was hot this past summer! I went though 5 bottles of medicated powder!

-Omar Afra

WORST RAIN DANCE: Rick Perry’s “The Response: A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis”

While Rick Perry and his buddy’s from IHOP (no shit, they call themselves the International House of Prayer) led 30,000, yes, 30,000 clueless gun totin’ Bible thumpin’ diabetes patients in seven hours of fasting and prayer at the Reliant Stadium, praying for stuff like rain to help put out the wildfires that were swallowing swaths of central Texas where Perry had cut volunteer fire department budgets by 75%–at the same time that those measly 30,000 people were gathered for our collective deliverance (not counting Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, atheists, etc), no less than ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND people who’ve been shafted by the economy and school budget cuts showed up just a few miles away at the George R. Brown Convention Center for Houston Independent School District’s first annual Back to School Fest for free backpacks, school supplies, uniforms, haircut vouchers, immunizations and fresh produce.  So many people showed up to the Back to School Fest that they ran out of supplies and had to send people away by 10 am, after having opened less than two hours before.  Perry’s rain never came, and the drought and budget woes continue…

-Harbeer Sandhu

WORST CASE OF DIARRHEA: Mezban Indo-Pak Buffet

Mezban serves great food. This is no indictment of their food quality but rather an illustration of my over-indulgence. How much lamb curry, chicken korma, daal, and haleem can one man eat in a day? Only my colon knows.

-Omar Afra

WORST CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP: KBR Kids Day

This little-known event occurs at Buffalo Bayou Park every October and has, as it’s title sponsor, Kellogg, Brown & Root or KBR. Apparently no one at the Buffalo Bayou Partnership thinks letting a company with as questionable a history as KBR sponsor a day for kids is a bad idea. Sure the event looks like fun for the whole family, as long you don’t think about the Iraqi children who died so KBR could provide you and your kids a nice day in the park.

-Alex Wukman

WORST COPY-EDITING: Free Press Houston

WE have been trying to get it right for a long time. But when a small staff is faced with editing literally hundreds of thousands of words in such a short time period, we fuck up. We fuck up often. Either way, we feel we sometimes have substance and thank you for your patience with our editing. We are considering hiring someone a sophomore in high school to help us get better.

-Omar Afra

WORST OF HOUSTON FEATURE STORY

WORST COMPLICITY IN HOUSTON’S WORST CRIME:

Houston Press aids and abets human sex trafficking

By Amanda Hart

EDITORS NOTE: This was obviously a hard decision to make as to whether or not to go ahead with publishing this story. First and foremost, it is hard to appear objective when writing about another newspaper that folks would perceive as a ‘competitor’. Secondly, I have many long-time friends who work over at Houston Press that I admire and respect and this article has no bearing on the great work they do.  I am also a customer of Houston Press where I regularly advertise Fitz shows, Free Press Summer Fest, Houston Palestine Film Festival, etc.  I can further illustrate my own hypocrisy by telling you that I have spent tens of thousands of dollars with them all the while having a moral qualm with the issue described here in the following article. Because in 100 years I am sure that when historians describe the worst of injustices that flourished in Houston Texas, human trafficking and its link to the sex trade will top the list. This story is the 500 pound gorilla in the room. And Houston Press and other media organizations complicity comprises but one component in this 3 dimensional clusterfuck. But we have no illusions that such complicity is based on some dark, malevolent plan orchestrated by the illuminati but rather a failure to examine the status quo for what it is. So I would ask that readers open their hearts and minds to the plight of these trafficked women.

For years now, I have ignored a rather disturbing reality that exists within our community. I, like most people, would pick up the Houston Press every Thursday and read up on what was going down that week. And every week I would do the same thing, reach a certain page in the paper and refuse to look any further for fear of having to face the reality that exist within the back pages of the Houston Press. It was as if my decision to refuse to flip any further somehow resolved me of any guilt or responsibility. So instead of browsing the pages that were lined with stock photos of women that are for sale, I would stop after I had reached the end of the music section. It was just easier this way. Then earlier this year, I attended a human trafficking education summit and was forced to analyze the ways in which my community and I perpetuate the trafficking and sale of women and their bodies. The Houston Press was brought up in the discussion and the wall I had created that separated me from reality was quickly dismantled. I went home that night and forced myself to begin the process of exploring human trafficking and how it is directly linked to Houston and specifically the Houston Press.

I started my research with the most obvious of offenses: massage parlors. Many of the women who are serving time in these facilities were brought from overseas here under false pretenses ( many from poverty-stricken South Asian countries like Vietnam and Thailand ) and are forced into prostitution through physical and mental abuse. Their families are threatened, their identities are stripped and they all lack vital resources that keep them perpetually held in this vicious cycle. The women accrue an inflated debt due to travel expenses and room and board that they proceed to pay off by working 12 to 24 hour days in the parlors. Their captors move them every few weeks (while adding to their debt for each move) to keep them disoriented with their surroundings and each other. After their debt is repaid and their time is served, they are “set free.” If you were one of these women and at 2 AM you were locked out with no money, a limited knowledge of the native language and not even the basic knowledge of what fucking city you are in, what would you do? One could hope that they find some help or, better yet, burn the building down. But that is not how the sex industry world works, and the reality is these women end up begging their captors to let them back in. These same women are being advertised every week in the backpages of the Houston Press. While I understand that times are tough and the Houston Press and their parent company, Village Voice Media, are doing what they have to do so they can get by, I have to ask them, and myself,  “Is it worth it?”

It is no secret that Village Voice Media and the Houston Press make some serious cash through ad space bought by the sex industry. Village Voice Media owns and operates the website Backpage.com and since Craigslist closed their adult service section in September of 2024, Backpage.com has picked up where they left off. According to James Rainey of the LA Times, “A Village Voice executive, who asked not to be named for revealing confidential information, said that Backpage.com, where online escort ads and the like go for about $10 each, produces at least one-seventh of the company’s revenue.” This is a million dollar industry that is making its earning off the backs and twats of women. Village Voice has stated that they are protected under the first amendment and while they sort of acknowledge the terrible shit their ad space is used for, their stance is that they cannot be held accountable for it. In that same LA Times article. Steven Suskin, Village Voice’s Lawyer, is quoted as saying, “Criminals send drugs through Federal Express but we don’t eliminate FedEx just because a few criminals do that.”  ( Eds note: This is a bullshit defense and parallel because FedEX does not knowingly accept packages with drugs in them whereas papers like HP are very well aware of the services offered at massage parlors and the conditions the women are in. ) Oh well Mr. Suskin, I totally see your logic in comparing mailing drugs through the mail and the sell of women and children on the internet. Thank you for clearing all the confusion up for me.  You are safe in the eyes of the law but I have to ask, isn’t there some sense of morality that you seem to be lacking? If you know that the money you are taking from massage parlors is the same money that holds those women captive, wouldn’t your moral compass send a fucking bat signal telling you this is beyond fucked up? And massage parlors are just one aspect to this enigma. That does not include the “prostitutes” and “escorts” that are also being trafficked through your pages and let us not forget the underage girls that seem to be popping up periodically with accusations that you knowingly allowed their pimps to take out ads on them. And while I agree that the pimps and traffickers are really at fault for their disgusting behavior, you need to take responsibility for making money off of the sales. I mean, you can’t actually think that you in no way are a part of this whole underworld. You are the link between the supply and demand. And let’s just be honest with each other, you can claim you are protecting first amendment rights all you want but what it really comes down to is money. I understand that you are a business and you do need money to exist but I would hope that you would rather cease to exist than to make your millions off of ads that sell human beings.

Every week, ads like this are featured in Houston Press that contain subtle language which indicate sexual services are offered. Stock photos of Asian women are re-used for different ‘massage parlors’.

Village Voice over the last year began their own human trafficking investigative series entitled “The Truth Behind Sex Trafficking,” in which multiple lengthy articles were printed in an attempt to debunk sex trafficking. Their main concern was the trafficking of minors and they went all FOX news on our ass and even created an interactive map. But, of course, this was all an attempt to shed light on sex trafficking and had absolutely nothing to do with the money they stand to make off of convincing people that sex trafficking is not really happening. It started with a ridiculous fight between Village Voice and Ashton Kutcher. Yep, you read that right. Village Voice posted a five page article directed at fucking Ashton Kutcher. I love that this was indeed their jumping off point in regards to such an intense subject. But either way, the article proceeded to debunk a claim that Kutcher made on CNN in July. “It’s between 100,000 and 300,000 child sex slaves in the United States today,” Kutcher said. The only problem with their attempt to debunk Kutchers claim is that they themselves used faulty “junk science” to do so. While I agree that the numbers that Kutcher touted were misconstrued, it does not mean that a good solution is to in turn do the exact same thing in an attempt to make a point. What VVM proceeded to do was spend a few months combing through arrest records in 37 cities looking for juvenile prostitution arrest. Once they pulled their own numbers (826 arrest per year) they then compared them to the numbers Kutcher claimed and from there attempted to downplay a very real problem that exist not just within the states but particularly in Houston. There are so many things wrong with this attempt to figure out the magnitude that is under age trafficking. For starters, VVM only looked at actual arrests. I can’t even begin to fathom why they would think that looking at arrests would somehow give them the magical number.

As if only people who are arrested and charged with marijuana possession are the only ones smoking weed. Come on now, you have to have a better schematic than that. Not only that, but one would also have to assume the underage girls that were processed in no way lied about their age. Because we all know that if a 16 year old is picked up by the police for fucking prostitution the first thing she is going to do is tell them her real name and age. Also, it is well known that in many cases these girls are not actually charged with prostitution but with something more along the lines of drug possession, running away or petty larceny, which means they were not entered into the system under the title of teen prostitute. There is also the factor that in some cases the girls are properly identified from the beginning and are never entered into the criminal system at all and are instead taken to a facility that will help locate their parents or find other sources of help for them. Once again, not ending in an arrest that could have been cataloged by the geniuses at VVM who came up with this ridiculous calculation. In the article VVM also makes the claim that police departments seem to have the issue under control. This is beyond laughable when you understand how the system really works. In Houston there are a handful (and by “handful” I mean 5) of officers who are dedicated to human trafficking. Not only does the city not have a handle on human trafficking, they don’t have the manpower or the money to even properly train officers on how to identify and handle such cases. The gist of the article claims that non profits are misleading people with these numbers (100,000 – 300,000) in an attempt to receive federal funding to keep their nonprofits going. It is interesting that the same company that stands to make millions off of this industry is calling out non profits for using misleading numbers in an attempt to gain financial security. What is that saying about a pot calling a kettle black?

I will say that I do believe that religious zealots are on a witch hunt and they want VVM dissected and on a platter. They are calling for VVM to close down the entirety of the adult advertisements. While I might have an issue with the massage parlors’ sale of minors and women who have been forced into prostitution being sold on their site, I do think there has to be a better way to solve the issue without closing the ad space completely. For starters, massage parlor ads have got to go. There is no debating that this shit is just fucked up. VVM has got to do more in regards to filtering through their ads and making sure to remove and pull all ads that are soliciting the sale of minors. If you are going to make the decision to profit from it you need to also invest in the proper precautions to keep the ad space as safe as possible. Writing articles about how human trafficking is really just a “boogey man” and not a real threat or reality is not only bad journalism but just makes you shitty human beings and this is why you are at the top of my Worst of Houston list.

-Amanda Hart