For many at last night’s Papermoons homecoming show at Walter’s, it was a night of lovely music. Phillip Foshee’s opening set of heartfelt acoustic songs rang trough the room with an angelic grace. The Papermoons themselves seemed happy, in high spirits, and were excited about playing SXSW thanks to some help from the lads at Indie Houston. And everyone basked in the glow as News On The March expertly brought in some sunshine to the cold rainy night with their bright harmonies that foreshadowed trips to Galveston in the hot summer months ahead. A typical night of H-pop right? So one would think but, last night, behind the lovely strains of the cello, the rich melodies, and the twang of the guitars lurked a dark side.

It’s a dark side that isn’t brought up very often but we’ve heard the rumblings about this for quite some time and we at the Free Press we have uncovered the awful truth. Look if you will at what our undercover cameras found at last nights show (click on the image to see the detail).

Sick, isn’t it?! That’s right, News on the March, those happy smiling Houston Popsters you’ve come to love and adore, are here engaging in turtle smut. We originally thought this was just isolated to these few sick-o indie pop stars until we spoke with our own April Patrick (who, to our dismay, was developing a sex toy shaped like a turtle’s shell) who boasted, “I’ll make millions from News on the March alone!” Millions? Alone? Clearly this went beyond simply one band. Therefore we posed for months as a N.A.P.T.L.A. (North American People Turtle Love Association) representative and, though many wouldn’t talk out of fear or shame, we eventually did gain the trust of various local musicians and slowly they opened up to us, exposing the perverse exploitation of our reptile friends. Consider the following statements:

Beau Beasely of Homopolice is non-chalant about the matter, “Yeah, I just watched a video of a turtle raping a shoe. It was kind of sexy.”

Ben Murphy, guitarist for Bright Men of Learning and Tody Castillo, raves, “There’s not much I love more than turtles…maybe monkeys. For the record, honestly, any thing tiny and cute will do.”

Erik Bogle of Bring Back the Guns says,’ “I feel that turtle porn is the muse that Houston’s indie pop scene has been lacking.”

Anna Garza, promoter extraordinaire, is also an enthusiast “I think turtle porn is awesome! Everybody deserves to get their freak on! You can quote me on that!”

Justin Crane of Nonalignment Pact, like many, retorted with a twisted logic when challenged; “It’s OK to watch violent ninja turtles go around destroying things, but it’s not OK to watch a turtle make sweet love to a shoe? I think your values are screwed up!”

Phillip Fosee, may not engage in this behavior but like many he defends it; “My opinion… I think musicians (and only musicians) should be allowed to take inspiration from anything they want, however bizarre or grotesque it may be. I think it’s beautiful that someone could be inspired this.. That inspires me. So in a way, I am inspired by turtle porn. As for how evident this is in the music I create, and whether someone may find it offensive… Well… That’s for my elected government representatives to decide. ”

Niki Sevven of Something Fierce simply expresses her thoughts in Haiku:

turtle porn is skank
houston indie pop is shamed
awesome! party time!

I know what you are thinking. Isn’t this going to wreck careers, ruin lives, and possibly destroy the entire H-Pop scene? Yes. Yes. and Yes. But when you look at the video below I think you will understand why we have to speak out stop this epidemic now!

Yeah, it’s gonna be a good night when the first thing you encounter on your way to the White Swan is a van parked in the street with the overwhelming smell of pot and sound of Van Halen emanating from inside. I guess that means it’s either 1978 or some Gulf Coast Hardcore kid feels that Women and Children First is the only way to get stoked for hours of the city’s best hardcore/Grind/Metal bands.. Have you seen junior’s grades? gneaw! gneaw! gneaw! gneaw! gneaw! gneaw! gneaw! Yes folks, The White Swan was hosting the second night of Noisefest. Here’s a brief rundown of what I saw there:

The Assholes opened sounding a lot like the bands I had in high school after hearing the Circle Jerks and Black Flag only better, faster, and funnier. Imagine a guitarist that looks like Stephen King and a small bald big eared dude playing songs like “Stupid Fuck” which consisted of those two words repeated over and over in rapid fire succession for about 30 seconds. Oh lordy, who knew Assholes could be such geniuses?

Satannibis was a three piece consisting of a drummer surrounded by sludgy dirty bass and guitar ( I think that was Dissent’s white Epiphone wielding guitarist). The great thing about them was the drummer; he played not with a straight punk 1-2 1-2 but had a brutal yet loose and jazzy style that was totally unexpected.

Battle Rifle was likely the most droll band of the evening. Opening their set, the guitarist announced with a smile, “We’ll make this quick; I have a fight to watch.” which was met with a “De La Joya’s going’ down!” from the audience (likely those charming smart-asses the Hypocristinas) which in turn led to a a hilarious back and fourth between the band and the audience. The music was no less brilliant with the brutal assault led by the drummer’s sharp fast blast beats – that guy was a freaking machine! Likely the only band I’ve heard recently that could make a 20 second song sound epic.

The Ale Gore followed. God bless their little souls but they looked like everyone’s favorite nerdy friends led by a lead singer who looked like Jeff Goldblum gone hardcore – with as bizarre results as you would expect. Oddly though, despite his awkwardness, he was actually was a pretty good frontman who put himself fully into what he was doing and to solid effect and the band was, for the most part, pretty dead-on with the exception of the drummer whose single kick drum style left you pining for the double-kick assault you expect with this kind of music. That aside, the only real issue with them was that they simply played too long. This stuff works great in 15-20 minute blasts max but their set may have gone 5 minuted too long which, in hardcore, is an eternity. Nevertheless. they were pretty fun.

The last band I saw at Noisefest was Insecticide. I will admit it, I feel pretty stupid having never seen these Californians before this show. They’ve been doing this for 20 years and the kids all knew the songs and why wouldn’t they? They were brutal uncompromising metal in all it’s glory! The guitarist would blaze through solos with as much joyous ass-whoopin’ as the best 20 some odd hotshot. The bassist meanwhile was a show unto himself – pure showmanship and without compromising the music (to borrow a quote from Andrew Moccasin). In fact, I was so enraptured in their performance, that I let my hardcore guard down and forgot to pay attention to my peripheral vision; there to my right was a body hurling in my direction. Thankfully the person’s winter wear made for a blow as soft as a pillow but unfortunately it did knock off my glasses and, focusing more on my glasses than my balance, I fell flat on my ass. Classy! No problem though, everyone gave me a hand up and it was back to Insecticide in all their awesomeness!

Meanwhile, over at Rudyard’s it was a totally different scene – the poppy indie-rock scene. Sadly, I missed Phillip Foshee but I did manage to catchElaine Greer. Beyond her trusty bass wielding sidekick , Travis, she was also assisted by Austin (News On The March/Humanicide), and Andrew (Wild Moccasins). Elaine was at her best. Hell, better than that. She whipped out a new song that I thought simply killed. Andrew kicked-in with this chugging locomotive beat while Austin laid down this lovely guitar line and Elaine’s vocals carried the whole thing home. The song suddenly seemed to end as Elaine let a few chords ring on her guitar and the band then went into this lovely coda that was epic and heavy. Amazing stuff but unlike the participatory Hardcore crowd, people here were sitting on the floor or sitting in chairs like it was a poetry reading. Good god people! How anyone could sit through this, I have no idea.

Austin’s Unbearables were a solid ensemble featuring two keyboardists, two wind players, bass, guitar, drums and one extra vocalist. The songs were sweet but the really nice thing was the leader of the band was sharp enough to leave the individual players room to move. The best songs were those in which the bassist would lay down a solid and dirty bass line with the drummer behind him laying down the backbeat. With that backdrop, the wind instruments (one woman of a flute and the other on trumpet, sax, and clarinet) would play off each other with a lovely psychedelic trippiness. Excellent stuff.

News On The March, whose EP release was being celebrated, stole the evening. If I had any issues with News on the March’s Halloween show, I wasn’t going to find them here. There the band’s performance was constantly stepping over the music but here there was no sign of that. Here was a band fully focused on its music and delivering the goods. A lot of credit needs to go to soundman Joe Olmelchuck because to really appreciate News On The March live you want to savor it all and here the sound was pristine bringing out the glorious harmonies, rich cello, and those jangly melodic guitars. It was simply the perfect way to absorb the richness of what this band had to offer. And guess what? People finally got off their asses!! When Geoffrey of Sideshow Tramps started dancing with a woman in the audience it was the perfect expression of the joy that that band can bring to your soul.

Links:
More Photos on My Flickr

News On The March EP Release Pics (Link)
Noisefest Pics (Link)

Bands:
The Assholes (none, sorry)
Satannabis
Battle Rifle
The Ale Gore
Insecticide
Elaine Greer
The Unbearables
News On The March

OK folks, let’s get one thing out of the way here. If you go to a hardcore show there is this thing called a circle pit. People run in a circle that’s very much like the running of the bulls where, if you jump in, you may get hurt but, if you stay out, you will likely be less likely to be hurt. I say less likely because, of course, you’ll sometimes get pushed, shoved, or even elbowed but that’s not done on purpose but is the result of a simple accident that goes with the territory. Let’s face it, generally speaking, Hardcore kids are about community and not about banging heads. So why the fuck is it at a JonBenet show like Friday’s Dannzig performance do you occasionally get a small group of mentally deficient meatheads who probably just drove in from the suburbs to play a game of hardcore for a night? I’m not saying this is reflective of all the JonBenet fans in any way but all it takes is like 3 or 5 morons to be a bother. Seriously, this same shit happened at the Hallow Men show last year where the band (as they did Friday) had to tell some morons to chill. Sorry, I know you THINK this is how hardcore is supposed to be but what you are engaging in isn’t a circle pit – it’s a circle jerk; put your tiny dick back in your pants, go home, and play in your little boy’s only clubhouse. Not cool, not punk, not hardcore, just self-absorbed poseur bullshit from a bunch of thick necked apes.

Ahhh OK now that I’ve addressed that idiocy can I get to the rest of the evening? It was actually a pretty good evening and, mind you, the morons I speak of couldn’t ruin it.

I missed the always fun the Wild Moccasins but got there in time to see Young Mammals who were looking to bat 300 with this – their third – performance as The Pixies. Jeff of Bowel/Brian’s Johnston filled in on the drums dressed as The Hulk (pretty hilarious as he’d grimace like Lou Ferrigno while holding his sticks). But his stage presence and antics aside, my one small quibble for their performance was that his drumming style is a better fit for some plodding sludgy metal than the upbeat driving pop of the Pixies. Again that’s quibbling as, despite that “Is my turntable running just slightly slow?” feeling at times, the band hit the songs solidly and had the crowd singing and dancing. I mean you can’t fail with Cley Miller’s guitar work and guest Mlee Suprean handling Kim Deal’s parts.

News On the March followed with a good performance but not their best. They had a blast on stage with some silly Halloween bit where this was supposed to be a News On The March reunion twenty years in the future where we got to see see what will have happened to all the members . It was funny and cute to be sure but, in hindsight (and having seen the band at Walter’s before with impeccable sound), the antics got in the way of the music and the performance. The humorous asides and silliness simply seemed to stall any momentum the band had built up. That’s not to say that people weren’t amused and having a good time, but I’d wonder what, if any, impression News on the March would have made to those not already familiar with their work. Is that quibbling? Maybe it is, as the songs were played well, but there is a reason why bands dread things like breaking strings and that’s because building momentum and keeping a flow is so crucial. Still it’s Halloween the important question is was it fun and that was a resounding “Yes!” so let’s not over analyze.

The Monocles meanwhile didn’t bother with skits (though Jeoaf was sporting a dashing police uniform). No, fuck that, just start her up, grab the wheel, and put the pedal to the floor. Damn straight, you don’t need any frills, just straight up garage with the pop pop pop of drums, an overdriven guitar, a driving bass and a whole lot of sweat. Not just any sweat – rock and roll sweat – the kind that has you dancing and shouting “Monocles! Monocles! Monocles!” Well done lads.

Dannzig (the always brilliant Jonbenet) closed the night with a pitch-perfect tribute to Glen Danzig. For my taste, I’d have liked to have heard a bit more Misfits material in the mix but, again, I’m in a quibbling mood this morning. You know the score – shirtless blood-soaked men playing loud – and that’s exactly what you got. People were packed at the front of the stage with their fists up in the air and singing along. Sure there were the handful of meatheads I mentioned in the beginning of this review but even their idiocy couldn’t mar the performance and the audience’s revelling in all things Danzig. I’ll bet you any amount of money that if you saw the real Glenn Danzig on Wednesday at the House of Blues, you probably got a shittier show for more money. Ironically, this was the real deal.

Links:
More Pictures on my Flickr (Link)

Young Mammals (Link)
News On The March (Link)
The Monocles (Link)
The Jonbenet (Link)

Hearts Of Animals (Link)
Bowel (Link)
Bryan’s Johnston (Link)

Behold! Elaine Greer and the Capo of Power!

Zahira is so not letting that mic get away!

And lo the moccasins did run wild!
Andrew Lee opening a can of whoopass!

News on the March with their
patented microphone condom.

Austin may seem all cute and cuddly in NOTM
but he also rips skulls off with
grindcore masters Humanicide.

Lo, we of the Eastern Sea have
brought you glowing kick drums!

See the pained hands in the middle?
Seconds before this was taken,
lasers shot from guitarist Matt Hines’ eyes
literally melting somebody’s face off.

Links:

More Pics on My Flickr

Elaine Greer
The Wild Moccasins
News On The March
The Eastern Sea

Yea, for though tired, I marched seven stages and five parasangs to the Alabama Ice House. There verily did I bivouack with my friend from the North Eastern region. The provisions were many – Lone Star and Shiner were plentiful here – and after many discussion regarding bananas, Amsterdam, the largeness of Buckees 52Oz drinks, and other such pressing matters the soothsayers did infact suggest that the time had now long past for me to arrive at my destination at the allotted time. Nevertheless, after sacrificing one last Lone Star to the gods I proceeded to march four stages and two parasangs onwards to Numbers 2 for the Free Press Canned Food drive.

I arrived at my destination just in time to have missed The McKenzies which was quite vexing as their skills in producing enjoyable pop is heralded across much of this land. Yet all was not lost for News on The March, The Wild Moccasins, and American Sharks had yet to take the stage. Those in attendance were numerous but the encampment was so large as to render them tiny in comparison. Later that evening I would make my way to the Mink and, even though those gathered were no larger in number than those gathered here, the more proportional size of the venue to the crowd gave the impression of a vast throng. Here the effect was quite the opposite and once one put some distance between himself and those gathered their numbers seemed smaller within the cavernous surroundings. Regardless the crowd was just as enthusiastic as the one I could come to encounter shortly on Main and spirits were high.

News On The March came fourth onto the stage and there they did please many with their excellent vocal harmonies and impeccable guitar lines. These young Hoplites sung their paeans with great skill and enthusiasm causing many in the audience to holler and applaud their skill and artistry. It should be noted that they do favor Fender amps and thus their instruments of choice do jangle in a pleasing manner. Of note is one Austin Lloyd whose work on the Jaguar was particularly enjoyable. With his reverbed tone and extensive use of the tremolo bar he did, as it is often said, bring it on home particularly through the band’s rousing crescendo. He and Joe Weber conferred a great benefit to the group with their dueling guitars. This was particularly notable as the played country swing lines and harmonies whilst the soundman found himself taxed by the soundsystem which mocked his attempts to right the issues with the cello. Theirs was a set deemed very pleasing the gods.

The Wild Moccasins though would not be usurped and they took the high ground on the stage with a youthful vitality that όλα τα οντα agreed to be right and good. With Cody Swann and Zahira Gutierrez leading the charge they did conjure uncontrollable dancing from those who did not take heed of the warnings and dared stand too close. Yea for the band did bounce and hop and no mere mortal could thusly resist. Particularly memorable was Spanish and Jazz where Andrew Ortiz’s drums marched with Nick Cody’s slithering bass and Andrew Lee’s reverbed guitar laying forth a strong groove for Zahira’s vocals whose rousing chorus pleased the gods more than 1,000 sacrificed she-goats. Yet, despite their mighty grooves, the end of the new morning’s first hour lay a mere ten minutes away and text messages to Dunnock and Jeff regarding when Ume would take the stage had proved futile therefore it became prudent to take my leave of Numbers and march five stages and 3 parasangs to the Mink.

When I arrived, to my great dismay, Ume – though headlining – had been already laying waste to all those that stood in their path and, as I made my way to the front, Lauren did announce to all those gathered that this would be their last song. Normally this would have been quite dispiriting except that merely one Ume song is worth more than a full set from the fiercest of bands and, as fortune would have it, they performed an electrifying encore. Taking up the rear of the formation sat Jeff who, bathed in sweat, lay a beat that Heracles himself would envy while Eric, armed with a mere four strings, took the lowlands. At the fore stood Lauren wielding her Telecaster which many admired and feared. The renown of her skill on the axe is such across the lands that anyone who hears the smallest of runs immediately recognizes its source. This evening was no different and she thrashed in a violent blur on blonde hair as her fingers nimbly laid out runs of such fury that those gathered shouted helplessly in response to the force of the sound that was thrust upon their ears. Thus it was that with a mere three songs, Ume made the gods tremble in fear and only after seeing all before them laid to waste Lauren did approach the microphone and proclaim to those who remained standing a meek “thank you.”

Links:
News On The March
The Wild Moccasins
Ume

No Beer or Jameson fueled review this week folks. This week I’m keepin‘ it straight edge. But even if you weren’t abstaining, I hope you were able to make it out yesterday to the Block Party! I kicked around until 5pm and had to leave due to some other obligations but five hours was still quite the overdose of music. In those five hours I caught 20 acts and the stupid thing is, when I had to leave, I was bummed about having to miss Elaine Greer, The Papermoons, Oh Pioneers, Young Mammals, Rusted Shut and a whole host of other bands. Is that crazy? You’d think I’d have been sick of it all and ready to leave but the day was too beautiful and everywhere you looked you kept running into cool people and cool music. So here are some highlights:

The McKenzies drew me in with their upbeat drums, organ, and poppy melodies. For me, they were my happy pop “discovery” of the day complete with bubble machine. What can I say, I’m a sucker for the well executed pop song. Sadly, no releases yet but they say they are working on it. Highly recommended!

Defenestration Unit were missing a guitarist yet, no offense to Jim Otterson’s skills, you never missed him. The band filled in the gaps beautifully and Charlie Ebersbaker’s work on the Korg was a great addition to the band’s palate.

Come See My Dead Person were a complete surprise. I walked in and there was this big dude with a small-scale acoustic guitar, a mandolin player, and a violinist, atop the usual drums, bass, and guitar. The singer was singing like some gypsy Tom Waits while the whole place was whooping it up. It’s probably the only time I’ve seen a band have this infectious a “drag you in” live performance since the last time I saw the Sideshow Tramps.

Antarctica Starts Here played one of the best sets I saw on Saturday. Oh, this is a band that loves a wash of echo, reverb, and delay ON EVERYTHING. Add the shimmering guitars and their patient buildups leading to some gorgeous crescendos and I’m mainlining.

Sideshow Tramps make it look so easy! I caught a bit of their set and there is the drummer throwing his stick around like some Bennihanna chef, the washboard bassist is taking a solo to hoots and hollers from the audience, the cigar box guitarist is sashaying across the stage like he’s Jimi Page, and the singer is making you buy whatever they are selling. Now, that’s all fine and dandy but I’d gone to see Perseph One and that stage running late so I headed back to Avant Garden then, sure enough, when I get back, the goddamn stage is filled with people dancing and singing along! Goddamn it, I can’t leave those Sideshow Tramps alone for five minutes!

Basses Loaded also fall under the category of bands that make it look easy with their cool bass lines, clever arrangements, and unstoppable skills. Fine cool I can deal with that and the fact that the whole American Sharks thing is also kickin‘ but I didn’t know until later that day that 1/2 of the band was in The Fucking Transmissions. Fuck that! That’s Bullshit! Attention Basses Loaded members, you have exceeded your cool band quota! Cut that shit out!

Buxton is a band I’d been curious to hear live since hearing them on Myspace and they did not disappoint. There’s a lot to like about them, strong songs, engaging vocals etc. but for me the thing that put it over the top was the lead guitarist. Here was one of those bastards that had an insane control over what he was doing – it was enviable. He’d constantly punctuate the songs with these little guitar lines and phrasing that added texture, nuance, and weight to an already heady brew. One of the best performances of the day!

The Fucking Transmissions‘ set was hip hop at it’s most musically witty. Ben (he of too much talent and too many cool bands) played guitar and bass simultaneously while the vocalists played off each other like droll school kids trying to outdo each other. Jovial and sharp, The Fucking Transmissions should quiet any naysayers who claim Houston Hip Hop is all out of tricks.

The Wild Moccasins got everyone in a tizzy. John Sears turned to me and said “Oh Shit they’re the new De Schmog!” We’ll, maybe if De Schmog was a bit more rootsy but, yeah, in terms of being upbeat, fun, and getting the crowd all nutters, they had it in spades.

I closed it off with Austin’s Death Hell Battle Tank upstairs at Avant Garden. The singer (is this the dude from Fuck Emos by the way?) sure had sass. He got on the balcony and began, with his voice running through an octave divider, to taunt the people below to come upstairs all the while addressing the Houston crowd as “Hey Dallas” and telling them how much they sucked. The band – dressed in military headgear, fully in character, and with fog machine in hand – then charged through a really fucked-up version of The Immigrant Song. It was refreshing to see someone just be purely stupid and silly. Now I’ll grant you, the shtick may get old but it was worth rolling this one at least once.

The Punk’s Not Dead Award though for the day has to go to Cop Warmth and Blackie’s guerrilla performance outside the bike shop. If you missed it like I did don’t feel to bad; it was thrown together on a whim after the band’s performance at Numbers . Cop Warmth are like excitable chimps and – fuck stages and set times – it was time to have some fun and fling some poo: get the equipment, set up by the bike shop, play, make some noise with Blackie, and hope it’s all done before the cops shut you down. Just looking at these pictures by Brent (Link) and listening to what people said, Cop Warmth may just have topped everyone else and brought some much needed real chaos to an otherwise orderly event. Amen!

Here are some snapshots:

The Defenestration Unit’s Mike Switzer
has come to kick ass and chew bubblegum
and he’s all out of bubblegum!

Generation Landslide
plays an exclusive set for Indian Jewelry

Skyblue72

Team Death Trap

Come See My Dead Person rips up Mango’s
and that’s without their entire line-up.

Swans Will Attack

Antarctica Starts Here lay down shoegazer
shit that makes your hair stand on end!

News On the March

Sideshow Tramps!!
I left for five minutes.
When I get back everyone was on stage.
Typical!

Mistress Green

Ill Advisory – the one man supergroup!

Basses Loaded!
Asses Kicked!
Mission Accomplished!

Lovie

Buxton! Holy shit they are good!

The Fucking Transmissions dropping some cognitive
dissonance on that one dude who writes-off Houston as
“a talentless hip hop sewer of uncreative ass clowns “

The Wild Moccasins
wowing an enthusiastic crown outside Mango’s

Piano Vines you got that one dude dancin‘!!

Death Hell Battle Tank!
Because sometimes you need to get your stupid on!

Cop Warmth & Blackie
proof that punk’s not dead!

More:

Blog Reviews:

Breakfast On Tour review and pictures by Cereal (Link)

Handstamp (Chronicle) review and Pictures (Link), more pictures (Link), and Video (Link) by Sara Cress

Houston Calling Review By David Cobb (Link)

Houston Press review by Chris Gray (with link to a slide show Link)

Impose Magazine review and photos by David deLeon (Link)

Pictures:

My Pictures (Link)

Brent’s Pictures (Link)

Groovehouse’s Pictures (Link)

William Cordray’s Picture’s (Link)

Send me you Flickr and other related links so I can add them, eh?