Autism is Anarchy

WE ARE HERE, WE ARE WEIRD, DEAL WITH IT.

Greetings and Salutations, America!

Autism is  a delightful and quite popular permanent federally-recognized disability. According to the USA Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the wonderful and exciting disability of Autism falls within the group of Autism Spectrum Disorders. Today, 1 in 110 children will be born with Autism.  Autism is a developmental disability that causes odd, curious and significantly exciting challenges in social interactions, all communication and behaviors. Isn’t that neat?!  What is even more better-er is that it appears before the age of 3.  It is estimated that there are currently 750,000 Americans living with the challenges of Autism. AUTISM IS ANARCHY.

And no one knows what causes it. No one agrees on how to treat the symptoms. No one can give you a reliable prognosis. And the best part is how this invisible friend will begin to dismantle your entire life. It will take your job. Your marriage. Your home. Your relationships with your other children. It scares away your friends, your family, and former co-workers. Why? AUTISM IS ANARCHY.

Why?  I am so glad you asked. Autism requires 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Autism requires that you shift the locus of your day, your life and goals to attending to its malleable and slippery constant needs.  Autism is not your child; but it has your child in its grasp.  You will spend every waking and sleeping moment in repeated attempts to pull your child out. To pull out a personality. To develop a human separate from the invisible disability and deadly foe called, Autism. AUTISM IS ANARCHY.

Autism can kiss my ass, your ass and your ex mother in law’s ass. If I saw Autism at a party, I would toss it through the largest plate glass window I could wobble over to.  I will never see Autism, because it is invisible.  So Autism can worry not about me ‘going EXPLODO’ at a Junior League cocktail party, nor should you.  Our family is 100% non-violent and there is zero tolerance for acts, words and threats that imply aggression.  In this Writing Project, in words, I can be the stone sold bitch that I am.  In person, I am as warm and fuzzy as they fucking come.  Be advised.

750,000 is the population of a small country, and I am taking control, as it’s Deposed Duchess, Lord, God and Buddha of Autism.  I will communicate our demands, but we, as families who demand to live well on the Autistic Spectrum, will make changes in the way we interact with YOU, the sad sad people who are Neuro-Typical (NT)s.  Oh, you pathetic NTs. You know not the joy of taking over a grocery store, a gas station or the line at the DMV.  When you are Living Well Within Autism, you might bring a small tent where your autistic child rocks and stims and screams and chirps and wails as you scoot said tent along with you. You may have already built a platform on wheels.  I am not kidding and aren’t you jealous. Also, you have never been in a shopping mall with a child walking with a fluorescent yet dirty yellow blankie wrapped over their head. Tightly.  Sad, sad YOU and fun, fun, fun WE.

WE ARE HERE, WE ARE WEIRD, DEAL WITH IT.

THE TOOLS OF OUR AUTISM ANARCHY REVOLUTIONARY FORCE ARE MOSTLY FROM THE DOLLAR STORE AND RADIO SHACK. GET YOUR ASS THERE IF YOU WANT TO HELP. HELPING COSTS LITTLE MONEY - BUT A TRUE DEDICATION IN TIME, ATTENTION, COMPASSION AND COMPROMISE.  IF YOU ARE A HUMAN WITHOUT THESE QUALITIES, FUCK YOU. YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO OUR AUTISM ANARCHY REVOLUTION.

The adaptations we must make on a daily basis to help our loved one for whom the world is a constant assault of images, smells, feelings, sounds, motion and confusion is not to entertain you; but for basic survival. Because Autism is an invisible foe, I have built an inexpensive messaging system to telegraph to you sad, sad NTs that Autism is in da house.  I will tell you how you can help, and give you strategies on how to effectively interact, or dare I say HELP when invisible Autism is animating our loved one in a truly strange fashion while we are out and about in the world outside our bunker homes.

BE ADVISED. WE ACCEPT NOT YOUR SUGGESTIONS. WE KNOW WHAT OUR LOVED ONE NEEDS. WE HAVE AUTISM:  YOU BEND, YOU GO AROUND, YOU SLOW DOWN, YOU SPEED UP, YOU CHANGE.  WE ARE STRUGGLING FOR OUR LOVED ONE’S SURVIVAL.

AT THE SAME TIME, WE ARE HAVING MORE FUN AND JOY AND SILLINESS THAN HUMANS SHOULD BE ALLOWED. JOIN US IN “LIVING WELL WITHIN AUTISM - A USER’S GUIDE.”

IF OUR DEMANDS ARE NOT MET, WE REQUIRE A SMALL COUNTRY FOR OUR 750,000 AND 4 FAMILY MEMBERS EACH.  THAT WOULD BE AN ISLAND WITH REALLY NICE WEATHER AND BOTH SMOOTH JAZZ AND COOL ISLAND RHYTHMS THAT CAN SUPPORT 4,000,000 HUMANS. WE DEMAND DOGS, KITTIES, HORSES, CHICKENS AND SHIT TO KEEP US HAPPY AND HEALTHY. WE WILL SETTLE FOR HAWAII, CORSICA OR CUBA.  PLEASE RELOCATE THOSE PEOPLE INTO OUR EMPTY LIVES WHEREVER WE ARE RELOCATED FROM. FAIR?

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to forcing you to understand how you can help a family helping a loved one Live Well Within Autism.  Please stop trying to find a Cure; our loved ones hear you saying that and they think ‘You’ want to kill them.  Or, wish they had never been born.  Instead, please direct all those fucking dollars to buying us a cool place to live, like Cuba or Corsica or Hawaii.  That is all for now.

Warmest Regards,

APOCALYPSE FINANCIAL