David Garrick

What NOT To Wear at FPSF: Suggestions On Do’s and Don’ts

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It’s that time of year again, where we as Houstonians prove how we can come together for FPSF,usually in a civilized manner.  Not one year goes by where I don’t see at least a tenth of those who attend, wandering without shoes, crying from a lost item, or just disheveled and dehydrated. I have  compiled a list of do’s and don’ts that should at the least, ensure that you remember the festival for positive reasons.

Guess what, it’s going to be hot. I know it, you know it, dogs know it; yet every year I see someone in pants. I have to question the sanity of this decision, as this is the one time I condone choosing function over fashion. If you’re a guy, then cargo shorts, running shoes, ankle socks, and a t shirt are the best options. If you insist on wearing flip flops, please note that they will be thrown away after you inevitably lose them.  Also tank tops, no matter how much of a hipster you are; aren’t the best idea.  If you’re the last Gold’s Gym member who insists on wearing a tank top, please pair it with a hat and sunscreen.  Also, as cool as Toms or Chucks look, they will hurt after ten hours of combing the festival grounds.

With sunscreen in mind, and this is for all; please get some that’s waterproof.  If science and your mom haven’t told you yet, sweat & water are basically the same thing.  Since you probably won’t plan ahead, please note that a high SPF level and being waterproof are you best bets for the Summer sun.  This should be coupled with the cheapest sunglasses you can get your hands on.  Why the cheapest?  Because every year I tend to find no less than twenty pairs of sunglasses that I turn over to the lost and found; and most are way too expensive to lose.  My Sweet Leaf Iced Tea promo shades have lasted two of these festivals and they were FREE.  Unless of course, you choose to wear one of those “canasta” bands old ladies wear, just go cheap.

If you’re a female, you can pretty much wear whatever you want, because the world isn’t short of men who will get in line to cover you with sunscreen.  However, either sex should consider a bag, of some sort, for if nothing else; a smartphone.  A backpack can be one of those Camelbak bags which will also include ready to drink water, keeping in mind that you’ll have to lug it around all day.  If you are the type of person who feels like a case like an Otterbox or a Lifeproof case isn’t very cool, then something somewhat protective is a good idea.  Sure, that slim case looks cool, but as someone who’s had to use that AT&T insurance, slim isn’t so fun when you have to buy a new phone twice in one month.  That should go hand in hand with a Ziploc sandwich bag with a zipper top.  It sounds dumb, but it actually can keep your phone dry if you actually close the zipper top correctly.  Just remember that yellow, plus blue, make green.

So, if you do bring a bag, please consider the following items as well.  Hand sanitizer, TUMS, band aids, ADVIL, baby wipes,and one of those little travel locks to lock your zippers together to ensure that your things won’t disappear. If you’ve never been before, please note that your cell phone won’t work as well as you’d think, and that some sort of battery charge device will also be helpful, after a day of Vines and Instagram posting.  It should also go without saying that no matter what side of the gender line you fall on, a zipper wallet or even a cheap velcro wallet is also a good idea.

There’s a really good chance that you won’t follow any of this advice, and at some point I’ll be giving you directions to the lost and found.  This all about having a good time, so coming prepared and using common sense goes a long way.  If you insist on not taking sound advice, I like my Ray Ban’s in the aviator style.

  • LDJ

    @Caleb Luckily for us Houston downpours in phases, if it rains during the weekend it will be a welcome break from the Blaze. @Jay you lost all credibility when you criticized proper wear for a festival (let me guess, you’ll have your skinny jeans painted on the morning of?)

  • Thomas

    What’s wrong with cargo shorts? Do you only wear skin tight 3/4 shorts?

  • Caleb

    Full week of rain in the forecast and no remarks.

  • Jay

    You lost all credibility at “cargo shorts.”