By Laila Khalili with Megan McIlwain
Illustration by Austin Smith
Free Press Summer Festival 2015 is just around the corner! This is your guide for getting to the fest, what to bring/not bring, and safety tips for a good fucking time.
Transportation and Parking
Getting there: The address for NRG Park – Yellow Lot is 9131 S. Main. There is tons of paid parking on-site. Don’t want to drive? The Metro Light Rail leads directly to our festival site! Please don’t drink and drive. You can’t party if you’re in jail, or worse, dead. Make a plan for how you are getting to and from the festival. Take an Uber, pick a designated driver from your super cool friend group, or take public transportation. If you’re nearby, walk over, use B-cycle, or ride your bike. There will be tons of bike racks located by the festival entrances, and the environment will thank you for it.
Do it now! It will have a map of the festival, lineup, band schedules, cool photo frames to use on social media, and important updates.
What to Bring
It’s gonna be hot Hot HOT so wear cool, comfortable clothing, and feel free to wear your swimsuit. Wear “sensible” shoes, since you’ll be doing a lot of walking, jumping, and dancing. At FPSF, always put SPF on your BFF! You should bring sun-friendly items, such as a hat, sunglasses, sunblock, or even a personal umbrella. If you’re afraid of dirt, towels are welcome, but please do not bring chairs.
Don’t Bring This
People have tried to bring their pets, coolers, motorized vehicles, and tents in the past. Don’t do that. They’re not allowed. Do not bring weapons of any kind into the festival, because then you will have to leave. We know you’ll want to document every single moment of the weekend, because it’s going to be that fun, but that said, selfie sticks are annoying and not allowed. Make some friends and ask someone to take to take a photo for you with a normal camera or your cell phone. Professional photography and video recording equipment will not be permitted.
Fun fact: 72% of the human body is made of water. There will be free water stations all over the fest, so bring a plastic water bottle, Camelbak, or water reservoir of some kind so you can fill up and stay hydrated throughout the day. All containers must be empty upon entry into the festival — bags and bottles will be searched at the gates — so don’t get any ideas about bringing your own booze, because it will be thrown away and that’s just a waste. Pre-game at home, fools.
What To See
Aside from enjoying the kickass lineup, there will be tons of other cool art at FPSF. Local artists Dual and Eyesore provide fields of wheat paste, and expect some sweeeet live spray painting from Nicky Davis and Scott Tarbox. From Art Cars to acrobatic yoga to Jermaine Rogers’ art hanging from the overpasses, there will be no shortage of things to make you “oooh” and “ahhh!”
There won’t be any excuse for you to get hangry at your friends, since an abundance of food will be available to fuel maximum partying. Bring cash (small bills) and credit cards (ATMs will be available throughout in the fest) so you can delight in all the awesome food trucks, snow cones, and beer! Be sure to sip on some White Noise, an exclusive beer brewed just for FPSF by Saint Arnold Brewing Company.
FYHA (Fuck You Houston’s Awesome) will be selling their clothes celebrating Houston, as will Joey and Jaime. INCA WASI Artist Crafts will have handmade jewelry, bags, ceramics and clothes for sale. In case you forget some basic festival necessities, Fabulously Cool will be selling a Festival Survival Bag with sunscreen, hand sanitizer, ear plugs, Advil, and a poncho.
We will be monitoring weather conditions to maintain Ultimate Festival Fun Quotient, so keep your eyes on the large screens on the stages, check our mobile app and social media for any announcements, updates, or weather warnings. All you need to know is that lightning is the enemy.
If you aren’t going to be a decent person to the people around you, don’t come to the festival. Seriously. We want everyone to have a good time and enjoy themselves, and that is 100% possible if you treat each other with respect.
If you’re suddenly overcome with the urge to touch a butt, touch your own. In the event you see any knuckleheads causing problems, please notify a security guard and let them handle it.
Stay safe, kids!
First-aid tents will be located throughout the festival grounds, so if you feel ill for any reason at all do not hesitate to get help from those around you. If you see someone who looks sick, don’t just leave them there. Stay with them while a friend seeks help, or go with them to get assistance. Basically, be a good person. If you are ill, remember, refusing medical attention in the heat and humidity can be fatal. There is no need to be ashamed or concerned about the medics judging you, regardless of what caused the illness; your safety is our number one priority. Dancing is number two.
We want your feedback
We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again: this is your festival. What that means is we want your feedback all year long. Drop us a line. Tell us what you liked, what bands you want to see next time, what made you absolutely miserable, and what could be better. Stay in touch.
Y’all ready for this?