by Andrea Afra

Looking around the dining room at Fountain View Cafe, I said to my husband, “Notice anything about this place?”

“You mean how homogenized it is?”

“Yep.”

Sometimes, when dining in particular regions of Houston, such as Tanglewood, one finds that the majority of the patrons, if not all, are Caucasians (like me, but I’m 1/16th Cherokee Indian so…I kid). After being married to an Arab for nearly ten years, you start noticing these things when you realize, “That’s funny, my spouse is the only customer in here that would get extra scrutiny at the airport.” It’s true. If you’ve ever tried flying with an Arab partner, you’ll know that you should arrive at the airport even earlier than usual because it is guaranteed there will be ‘delays’.

Our food finally started coming out of the kitchen so I had a distraction from my overly observant imagination. True to the area’s demands, there was none of that hippie shit turkey or veggie breakfast meat options, and since we don’t eat pork, I had to do without. Disappointment turned to delight when my potato and Swiss omelet with a short stack of pancakes arrived.

My husband ordered an egg white omelet and a bowl of oatmeal, aiming for healthy options. While his omelet looked as good as mine tasted, the oatmeal was sitting under a puddle of butter. Who would order that stuff if they weren’t looking for a diet friendly breakfast?

I love all cuisines, but when it comes to breakfast, nothing beats a home-style Southern spread. Eggs, hashbrowns, biscuits, pancakes- no regrets. The hashbrowns were great in that they lacked that reconstituted potato flavor you find at a lot of diner style breakfasts. The biscuits were those fluffy buttermilk kind that resemble the pull apart dinner rolls, definitely good but not as good as the pancakes. The ‘short’ stack was two large, thin pancakes topped with fresh blackberries. I smooshed the berries up a bit with my fork and took a bite with the pancake and proceeded to push all of the other food away and focus solely on those flapjacks. I think I might have growled a little when the kids went to take a bite. In the end, there was plenty left to take home and I just polished them off around 2am this morning after remembering I had leftovers in the fridge while writing this, and they were still pretty delicious.

The fact that they serve a great breakfast all day, every day has deterred me from trying their lunch or dinner menu. Sorry, you’re on your own there. It’s just not the kind of place I’d go out of my way for at dinner, though I do love how the daily specials are printed out a la 80s public school style.

If you’re looking for a great Sunday breakfast spot, don’t come here. The place is white ass to elbow for most of the morning and into the afternoon. We went on a Saturday and didn’t have to wait in line.

So the next time you’re headed to Doneraki on a Saturday like we were, not knowing that their bad ass Mexican brunch buffet is now open only on Sundays, just head over to nearby Fountain View Cafe and bulk up on some desayunos de gringos instead.