Russel Gardin
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GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: AN INTERVIEW WITH GWAR

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Shock-rock legends Gwar recently came to town to the Houston Whatever Fest to play, or annihilate, Houston. Prior to their gig, I was able to get a quick interview with Pustulus Maximus about music, war, and social media.

Gwar, Photo: Provided by band

Leon casino, Where does GWAR come from?

GWAR comes from Antarctica.

I spoke to Peelander-Z recently and they said you guys are not from the same area, is there any kind of war between Antarctica and Planet Peelander?

No, Peelander-Z is actually very, very cool. You see, we are getting a little older. There are a lot of mountains in Antarctica. If for some reason they’re on the other side of a mountain, then there is no way in hell I’m going to fucking hike to the other side just to say hi. I think that explains why we haven’t seen each other in a while.

Who is GWAR at war with?

GWAR is at war with everybody, especially America. Everyone on God’s green Earth has Facebook nowadays. You can plainly see how self-important and ridiculous people’s opinions are, or how much validation they seek. To be honest, people should just give up. I think a better answer to the question is we are at war with western culture; It’s all fucking bullshit. This country did a lot of great stuff back in the day, but things have changed. Nowadays, people think what they say matters, but guess what, it doesn’t. If you have an opinion, take it and shove it up your fucking ass because you’re not right and nothing you say matters. All your friends on Facebook who argue or agree with you are full of shit, too. That’s pretty much it; We are at war with social media.

 

Will social media ever become something useful?

I don’t know, anything that dumbs someone down is a good thing. It’s a good thing to keep people stupid. No one watches the news, they just share things. They don’t even read the whole thing, they just read the first few lines! Guess what happens next…you wouldn’t believe what happens next. Our goal is to keep humanity ignorant, keep them stupid. As long as this trail of misinformation continues we will happily support it. We will kill people regardless of social media, though.

 

Blothar, the new vocalist, taught Green Jello how to construct masks and costumes a while back. How did that come about?

All I know about that is [the vocalist] started out using masks and then switched to fucking duct tape. You see our wardrobe? This stuff is real! We don’t wear masks. I had to kill a couple of sabertooth tigers and wooly mammoths with my bare hands to get up on stage  and wear armor to protect myself from getting hit by PBR can. This is no joke, it’s not a laughing matter.

 

What has been on shuffle for the band while on tour?

Some of the guys in the band don’t even listen to music anymore, they’ve already written all of it. All the music, ever, has been written by GWAR. For me, I have been into Zeke, Supersuckers, Watain, Dark Funeral and stuff like that. You can’t go wrong when you’re listening to those artists. I like a whole bunch of underground shit. The Hookers is another band I really like. These are band everyone should be listening to, but they’re not. Most people listen to fucking crap like all the other bands at the Houston Whatever Fest, except for Battlecross; they are one of the only bands that does not suck.

 

What’s next for GWAR?

Just some total world domination and blood thirsty, pillaging and misogyny like everything like that, you know?