Hit you with the Stomach Bug

Well, It seems as though Houston has been hit with a monster case of the stomach flu and I have been kicked in the teeth by it along with several family members, friends, pets, etc.. After a day of just feeling like horse shit, I stopped digesting my food until it ran over my esophagus and subsequently turned into a barf-fest. Nice. Unfortunately, a good child-hood friends wedding was last night and I had to make it. So, I chugged nearly half a bottle of pepto bismol and my lady friend and I begrudgingly made it to the shindig at the Marathon Oil Building ( a project my late father worked on decades ago.) I found my self escaping conversation many times to find empty patches where I could fart. Nonetheless, the thick pink concoction allowed me to have a few alcoholic drinks, eat the 'prime rib', and even indulge in several deep fried crab cakes. Now if I could only shit.....