No Comments

Stitches VS C-Czar

[Disclaimer: Free Press Houston in no way endorses the views expressed in this article or the videos discussed herein.  We do not recommend watching the Stitches video.  It will make you dumber.  That said, you have to admit that these "coincidences" are uncanny.]

by Karl Remarx

If you have not yet seen the “Brick in Yo Face” video, you obviously don’t have the “right” friends in social media and you probably never even met anyone who has done meth. This video is effing amazing. It has guns, it has cocaine, and if that’s not enough…it has Pinhead from Hellraiser. By the time you read this, millions of people will have seen “Brick In Yo Face.”

Your favorite rapper might be crazy and have tattoos but is he tattoo-an-AK47-on-your-face crazy? Is he tattoo-an-AK47-and-stitches-on-your-face crazy?  Because that’s what’s happening. It’s almost unreal…but the really scary part is the number of unreal coincidences between fictional character C-Czar of the comedy sketch The Nick Kroll Show and real-life rapper Stitches.

So, in honor of the worst and most amazing video to come out of Worldstar, here are the top 5 similarities between Stitches and C-Czar:

#5 Both are Parents.

In a recent interview with Complex, Stitches revealed he is a father and expecting another child on the way. Someone actually let this dude go raw inside her and decided to keep the baby. Think about that for a minute.

#4 Both C-Czar and Stitches have been abandoned by their parents. Nick Kroll’s fictional character was abandoned by his mother as a “toilet baby” but Stitches has been on his own since the age of 14. I am pretty sure he is a toilet baby as well.

#3 The inability to close their mouth.if you have made it this far in the article congratulations! Also I am pretty sure you have seen the genius that is Stitches by now. Both C-Czar and Stitches literally have the inability to close their mouth. Remember when everyone first got grills and just did everything with their mouth open? That’s what’s going on here folks. Both characters are straight up allergic to having their top and bottom lips connect.

#2 Facial Decorations. C-Czar has a lip ring as well as herpes sores, but I’m not sure that counts as a decoration. Stitches , of course has his trademark stitches and AK47 tattoo. Both probably have probably had something happen to them in their childhood.

#1 BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!

The character C-Czar is known for his two catch phrases “Let them eat cake!” and the infamous “BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!” so just 1:00 into the infamous video, what do we hear?  You guessed it.

They say life imitates art, or is it the other way around? Either way I think there are more than enough coincidences between Stitches and C-Czar….or maybe Stitches is the REAL LIFE C-Czar.

BLAP! BLAP! BLAP!

by Harbeer Sandhu