Bigger and Deffer: The Best of the Week
Leon casino, Photo: Chad Wadsworth
Well, I hope we all enjoyed ourselves at this year’s Free Press Summer Fest. We got to see a ton of great acts this signifying that Summer is in full swing. But, that doesn’t mean that the entertainment options are over with, as this week has more than you’d think. Legends like LL Cool J pictured above will make where you go and what you do a difficult decision. Here’s how to spend the next seven days.
Wednesday, you can kick things off over at Fitzgerald’s when Oklahoma indie pop band Other Lives performs downstairs. The three piece is known for their interesting live sets, and they’ll be in town in support of their latest, the recently released “Rituals.” They’ll have the female duo known as Riothorse Royale there as direct support. I won’t lie, after checking out their album, this year’s “The Guest House,” I feel like I should tell you to go and see them. There’s something about how they blend intense vocals with guitar and drums that makes me think they’ll be amazing. The indie pop synth of Dallas’ Dark Rooms will open the all ages show with doors at 7:00 and a $15.00 cover.
Deltron 3030 Photo: Courtesy of Artist
Scout Bar will have a pretty dope show, when the hip hop of Deltron 3030 performs at the Clear Lake venue. Though the trio made up of Del The Funky Homosapien, Dan The Automator, and DJ Kid Koala hasn’t dropped an album since 2013’s “Event II;” it doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth making it out for. On one stage you have more awards and talent than some shows have with ten bands. If you like hip hop legends, then this is definitely the show you’ll be at on a Wednesday. The all ages show has doors at 7:00 and tickets between $26.00 and $30.00.
Upstairs at Fitzgerald’s, Portland’s The Helio Sequence will bring their ambient psych electronica to life. These two have been dropping jams since 2004, and if you’ve never seen them live then this is your shot. Their new album, “The Helio Sequence” falls in line with their electronics meets drums sound, and comes off as grand as they can make it. The indie rock of Portland’s Lost Lander will be there to open the show. They just dropped a synth heavy album called “Medallion” that really ups their game. The show is all ages, the doors are at 7:30, and the tickets are between $13.00 and $17.00.
You might want to dance till’ dawn, and if that’s your thing then you could head over to Numbers for their latest dance party, New Light Wednesdays. Lead by DJ Damon Allen and DJ Andrew, the evening mixes various genres like nu-disco, deep house, and varying forms of eighties and nineties jams. There’s visuals from Malissa Martinez, it’s an 18 & up show, and the doors are at 9:00 and FREE for 21 & up or $5.00 for everyone else.
If you’d rather laugh until you can’t walk, then you could venture over to the Midtown Bar & Grill to catch the High Bar show. This edition features the laugh riot also known as Dale Cheesman. Dale might be one of Houston’s funniest comics going, he’s opened for Joey Diaz, and he’s had nice spots of Whatever Fest and the Come & Take It Festival. The show will also feature comedy from Justin Blanford, Julia Serrano, Ryan McGhee, and Andrew Youngblood. Of course, Bob Morrissey & Nick Meriwether serve as hosts on the show. The doors are at 9:00, I think it’s 21 & up only, and there’s a $5.00 cover.
Thursday, The Nightingale Room will host the infectious sounds of Houston’s Young Girls. There’s something about these guys’ high energy and pop structured indie rock that makes them one of those bands everyone needs to see at least once. Last year they put out a four song album called “Young Girls” that you should totally own. They’ll have the dual voiced sirens and ukulele driven eclectic sounds of Houston’s Say Girl Say on prior. The three piece might be one of the bigger surprises I’ve had from a band in a long time, and though you can’t stream their new album yet; you can check out the track “Coca Cola Kisses” from it. The show is 21 & up, the doors are at 6:00, and it’s 100% FREE.
Over at The Safehouse, you can hear Ray from Def Perception’s new mixtape before it’s released at a special listening party. The album, “(The Unexpected)” is pretty great from the advance I got, and everyone who attends gets a hard copy available only at this party. All of the details are here and it starts at 6:00.
Walter’s will be hosting a show that features the prog rock of Houston’s Vox Vocis. The group is calling the show a fundraiser for the funds for their new album, but in reality; that’s what every show should be for any band. Earlier this year they released the single, “Ad Initium Casso” that should give you an idea of the album they’re hoping to fund. The guitar heavy prog sounds of Katy’s Crimson Arrow will be there as direct support. I’ll say that if you catch these guys, you’ll be a little freaked by their playing abilities which is all over their album, “Modern Thieves.” The almost Mars Volta meets hardcore sounding Mosaic Dream will also be on the bill. This three piece plays like a five piece, and their “Don’t Get Eliminated” EP from March of this year is really tight. Houston based math rock duo Mannequin Mishap will bring their intense songs to life. I seriously dig how these guys remind me of June of 44 mixed with Jesus Lizard and Drive Like Jehu in the best way possible. Their album “Hypnic Jerk II” is pretty amazing, and something you should give a listen to ASAP. Alvin three piece And Then Suddenly will also be there, as well as Emiliana who’ll open the all ages show. The doors are at 6:30 and the tickets are between $10.00 and $12.00.
Of course you can also catch the christian hip hop of Tennessee’s Derek Minor at Warehouse Live. Whether you’re a secular person or not, you have to admit that this guy drops jams. From his debut release “Minorville” from 2013, Minor has been dropping jams with a message from the get go. His new album, “Empire” from this year has been getting all sorts of praise, and features all sorts of collabs. He’ll have the christian rap of LA’s Propaganda on board as his direct support & opener. Last year he dropped the epic sounding album, “Crimson Cord,” and further set himself off the beaten path. The all ages show takes place in the studio with doors at 7:30 and tickets between $15.00 and $30.00.
Geto Boys Photo: Gary Miller
House of Blues will be bringing Houston hip hop legends, Geto Boys in for a one off performance. The three piece doesn’t perform much together anymore, so catching them live should be a real treat. Of course you know them from hits like “Mind Playing Tricks On Me,” “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta,” and of course “G Code.” There’s no mention of an opener but that can always change. I feel like if you’ve never caught these guys perform together live, then you’ve been doing Houston wrong. The show is all ages with doors at 7:30 and a $25.00 ticket.
At Alley Kat they’ll have a show that features the loud garage rock of Houston’s Spare Bones. If you’ve never seen me write this, then I’ll just say what I’ve said publicly for a while; these guys are really good. If you take a listen to their “Demo” release from last year, you should know how good they are. The dancey garage rock of Austin’s Pollen RX will be there as well. I’ve never seen them before, but I did like their latest album, “Buyer’s.” They’ll have the guitar heavy sounds of AMA, also from Austin on the show too. The experimental drone of Houston’s Pope NQM will open the 21 & up show with doors at 9:00 and it’s 100% FREE.
Friday you can kick things off at Discovery Green for the Houston central’s Rainbow On The Green dance party. The LGBT celebration is an annual event that’s city-wide and is always a blast. This year they’ll have a live performance from Reina, a contestant from RuPaul’s Drag Race, and tons of music to get down to. They also have a Wii tourney put on by the Houston Gaymers. The event is all ages & 100% FREE, it gets going at 7:00, and there’s also a VIP ticket option with reserved seating & more.
Over at Fitzgerald’s downstairs, they’ll be bringing the solo efforts of ex-Girls’ lead singer Christopher Owens. Owens has definitely strayed from the type of sound he had with Girls, and his work is so different that his stuff is released through Fat Possum Records. Think seventies am radio mixed with a hint of country set forth in a pop structure, and you’ll have his music. His latest album, this year’s “Chrissybaby Forever,” is a mix of funk, pop, and garage rock with Owens’ sweet voice in the mix. He’ll have dUNETX’ singer solo act, Sacoustico on hand as direct support and opener. The all ages show has doors at 8:00 and tickets between $13.00 and $17.00.
The Americana meets roots rock sounds of Austin’s Uncle Lucius will be performing over at Warehouse Live in the studio. The four piece has been on quite the tear with releasing music, touring, and writing for the last couple of years, and they have a good sound if you’re into their genre. Their new album, “The Light” is more upbeat than their previous works, and should make for a good live show. Magnolia five piece Folk Family Revival will be on hand to open things up with their mix of blues and roots sound. These guys are pretty intense to see live and they bring a ton of energy when they perform. They just released a new album called “Water Walker” that’s even stronger than their last, and they’re definitely a band that everyone should see sooner than later. The all ages show has doors at 8:00 and tickets between $16.00 and $20.00.
Notsuoh will be bringing the spacey to life, when newer act Grand Antler Teeth performs at the Main St. venue. These guys play an orchestral kind of psych rock that considering the pedigree of the members, should be worth checking out. The metal space rock hybrid sound of Houston’s 72Names will also be on board, and should make for an interesting act as direct support. Quite possibly the most prolific band in Houston, or at least in terms of releases; The Illegal Wiretaps will bring their experimental sounds to life by opening the show. This two piece doesn’t play a whole bunch, so you should definitely get there early to see them play live. They’ve only made 82 releases as per their bandcamp, so yeah, Wesley Willis/Robert Pollard type numbers. Their latest, “Reach Around” is just two songs that are trippy, thick, and full of all types of sounds that could give you nightmares or happy dreams. The show is 18 & up with doors at 8:30, and cover for $5.00 on adults, and $8.00 for the kids.
Ginger Baker Photo: Alexys Maryon
If you don’t mind heading to the woodlands, then you should consider seeing Ginger Baker’s Jazz Confusion out at the Dosey Doe Big Barn. So, we all know that Baker is kind of strange, but he’s also one of the greatest drummers and percussionists to ever walk the earth. He was part of the legendary trio Cream, and he’s a pretty great jazz drummer. His latest solo album was last year’s “Why?” which showcases those jazz chops. This is probably your last or one of your last chances to see this great & legend perform live. The ticket price includes dinner which is served from 6:00 to 7:30. The show starts at 8:30 with tickets between $98.00 and $158.00.
MKT Bar will host a very special evening, when Chase Hamblin & The Roustabouts play three sets of acoustic songs. So, I would hope that by now you’d know that Chase is at the top of Houston songwriters going right now. In January of this year he dropped the sixties rock pop gem, “Way Back” that almost felt like it was penned at Abbey Road. These guys don’t play as much as they used to, and they really don’t do acoustic shows; so this is a treat in every sense of the word. Things get going at 9:00, it’s all ages, and it’s 100% FREE.
If laughing is what you’d rather do, then Beta Theater will have a show that will make you laugh when MicroSatan Presents: Good Evening with Connor and Billy. The two will perform loads of comedy with explorative themes that should be a riot. There’s a $6.00 cover, it’s BYOB, and all the details are here.
Mucky Duck will have the Americana meets roots pop rock of Lubbock’s Colin Gilmore. Even though Colin is the son of Jimmie Dale, I’ve always felt like he has forged his own path and created his own sound. He definitely has a strong set of pipes and an equally as strong backing band. His last album was 2013’s “The Wild and Hollow,” and his tunes make you kind of want to cut a rug. The 21 & up show has doors at 9:30 and tickets between $20.00 and $22.00.
Over at Walter’s, they have a pretty crazy lineup when the bancey psych drums of Houston’s Pitter Patter performs. If you’ve never heard Pitter Patter, then you’ve been missing out. Last year’s release, “Demo” is full of tight drums and spacey synths that are trippy enough to do drugs to, and catchy enough to dance to. The glitch visuals and dark beats of Houston’s FLCON FCKER will be there as well as direct support. Check his music out, as his remixes and originals are both worth hearing, and his visuals just complete the experience. The dark synth dance duo of Houston’s Matsu Mixu will also be on the bill, as will the crazy energy of Houston’s Zech. I caught Zech live a few weeks back and I was blown away by his energy and how hard he went live. The queer positive hip hop of Biz Vicious opens things up. If you’ve never attended one of his Dykon Fagatron shows, then this is where you should be on Friday. The all ages show has doors at 9:30 & it’s 100% FREE.
If you wanna’ get your laugh on, then head to Traffic Premium Lounge, when Laff Town hosts a live taping show. The show is peppered with a bunch of Houston comics who’ll be getting their five to ten minute sets filmed, and they need a good audience there to laugh. Comics include Stephen Padilla, Zahid Dewji, Orlando Villarreal, JB Nader, Son Tran, Nathaniel Amador, and Chris Riddle. I’ve seen most of these guys and I can admit that the ones I’ve seen are definitely funny. I think it’s 21 & up and FREE, with things starting at 10:00.
Hayden Jones and The Roosevelt House Band Photo: Courtesy of Artist
Saturday, you can start the day off at Silver Street for the Pop Shop Houston Summer Festival. The two day event will have close to 100 vendors and crafters as well as live music. On Saturday, things kick off with a DJ set from John Baldwin under the moniker DJ No Fun. He’ll be spinning until 4:00 so you have no reason not to make it out to support a guy who’s been booking your favorite bands since he was a teenager. He’ll be followed by the Cee Plus Bad Knives/Dan Castillo hybrid, EC/DC. There’s also music from Hayden Jones and the Roosevelt House Band. This large and in charge collective of talents drops a mix of folk, blues, and a hint of psych rock. Check out their tunes here to see what you’ll miss out on if you don’t go. Space Villains will be there as well to bring their psych meets rock sounds to life. If you missed their latest album “Asterism” late last year, then you haven’t heard a band that seems to echo the sixties while still sounding fresh. HOA2 also known as Hearts of Animals will be there to play Mlee’s sweet and sometimes intensely dark songs. I feel like if you’ve never seen her perform, then you’ve just been missing one of our city’s best songwriters. The Sunday version of the fest will feature a set from the always goin’ hard, DJ Angiesliste. I feel like she could really pop in this town, and I’ve watched her go off every time she performs. She will get followed with a set from DJ FredSter, which will wrap the tunes for the day. Things are all ages, they start at noon on both days, and it’s 100% FREE with an $18.00 VIP upgrade option.
If the heat and beer spilling youth weren’t enough for you last weekend; then you could head over to Hermann Square Park for the 2015 Houston Beer Fest. This year over 85 different beer brands will be offering up their best and brightest brews to please your taste buds. Like with every year, the beer is from all over the world, while locals like 8th Wonder and Saint Arnold offer up a nice selection of their crafts. There’s also music all day on four different stages. Rather than run through all of the acts, I’m just going to save my fingers and drop the highlights. Saturday things kick off at noon with a set from DJ Senior Jukebox followed by a 2:00 set from Hiram. If you missed him at Summer Fest, and then you missed him open for Diplo at Fitz after Summer Fest, then this is you chance to watch the producer go off like he usually does. Both of them are on the Love Street DJ Mix and Chill Zone area. Follow that up with a set on the Bud Light Main stage from Houston’s prolific and truly amazing, The Wheel Workers. If you haven’t had the pleasure to hear their new EP “Citizens” yet, then this is your chance to see them perform their fun and high energy songs in person at 2:00. On the Ziegenbock stage at 4:30, you shouldn’t miss a set from Houston’s Mikey & The Drags. These guys are kind of like a back pocket of whiskey in that they’re always great and yet they kind of feel like a secret. You need to see them do their garage rock thing sooner than later before they wise up and just leave Houston to conquer the world. You can also check out the funk madness of Electric Attitude on the 8th Wonder stage at 5:00, as they will definitely leave an impression on you. These guys work hard and play better, and you’re foolish to miss their live show. If you’re a Riff Raff fan, then you can catch him on the Bud Light Main stage at 6:15. Though, I’d suggest checking out the hip hop of Roosh Williams on the Ziegenbock stage at 6:30 instead. If you missed his “ Unorthodox” album from earlier this year, then you should know that you missed the future of Houston hip hop with it. The power pop of Austin’s Quiet Company is on the 8th Wonder stage at 7:30, and you should check them out. You can follow that with the metal of Venomous Maximus on the Ziegenbock stage at 8:00, and get a sore neck from all the headbanging. Or you can catch the indie pop rock of NOLA’s Mutemath on the Bud Light Main stage at 8:45. On Sunday at the fest, things kick off with Senior Jukebox and then Hiram again. Then you can follow that with Hayden Jones and the Roosevelt House Band at 2:00 on the Ziegenbock stage. You can follow that up with a set from Houston’s Moji on the 8th Wonder stage at 3:00. If you missed their beautiful performance at this year’s FPSF, then this is your chance to see one of the best and most inventive Houston acts going. Craig Kinsey & The Sideshow Tramps will bring their high energy rock to life at 4:30 on the Ziegenbock stage. I caught them earlier this year and I have to admit that they seem to have gotten better if you can believe that, cause’ they were already really strong. Or you could head back to the Love Street DJ Mix and Chill Zone area to catch Bombon’s DJ Gracie Chavez also at 4:30. Houston hip hop legend and member of Geto Boys, Scarface will drop his dope hip hop sounds on the Bud Light Main stage at 4:45. This guy has made more hits than a mafia don, and his latest, “Falling Shame” is a three song EP that proves he’s still amazing. The fest is closed out by singer/songwriter Hayes Carll at 6:30. The entire festival is 21 & up, things start at noon on both days, and tickets are between $20.00 and $200.00, per day.
Out at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, they’ve got a hip hop extravaganza going with the Boom 92 Kings Of The Mic show. The stacked lineup is headlined by legend and early Kangol hat adapter, LL Cool J. 2013 saw the last release of new material from J called “Authentic,” but the hits should make you go for this. Songs like “Doin’ It,” “Mama Said Knock You Out,” and “Rock The Bells” are more than enough reason to go. DJ Z-Trip will also be there, as will the legendary crew, Public Enemy. PE has more hits than most record labels, and tracks like “Fight The Power,” “911 Is A Joke,” and “Don’t Believe The Hype” are just three of at least ten big hits these guys had. All of that is before I mention that this white kid was sent home for wearing a “Fear Of A Black Planet” T-shirt to school. Houston hip hop legend Scarface will also be there with his string of hits. Songs like “On My Block,” “Smile,” and “High Powered” alongside that I’ve said that “The Fix” is one of the best hip hop albums ever made is enough reason to catch him in person. The show also features Whodini, Doug E. Fresh, Big Daddy Kane, The Magnificent, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Sugar Hill Gang, and Furious 5….meaning it’s the hip hop show of the year. The gates open at 3:30 and tickets are between $32.50 and $125.00.
Of course, you could just run over to Wonky Power to catch Peruvian producer Deltatron. Aside from the fact that this guy is a lit producer, aside from the fact that he’s fire when he performs, he also owns and runs his own label, Terror Negro Records. Though the label is primarily Tropical Bass, his work is something on its own, and worth making it out for. Check out his soundcloud to hear how next level he is, especially because he hasn’t played Houston before. The crazy and intense digital cumbia experience known as Gio Chamba will be there as direct support. This guy made 2015 FPSF memorable just based on the fact that I heard people both days talking about how crazy his live set was. Houston duo SVNTV MVERTE (pronounced Santa Muerte) will also be there with their crazy Latin jams, while the whole show is opened by Bombon DJ’s. The all ages show is definitely another next level & once in a lifetime event from those over at Wonky Power. The doors are at 7:00, it’s BYOB for 21 & up, with tickets between $8.00 pre-sale and $12.00 at the door.
The folky songs of William Fitzsimmons will take shape over at Fitzgerald’s. Fitzsimmons drops these soft and heavy songs that have more weight with an acoustic than some of the electric stuff you’ll hear. In may, he released his new album “Pittsburgh,” which he calls his most personal to date. The folk of Pennsylvania’s Denison Witmer will be there to open things up. Witmer has been compared to Elliott Smith, though I don’t hear it in his voice, but I can see how people would want to say that. He’s still good, just not on that Beatles thing that Smith had going on. His self titled album “Denison Witmer” from two years ago is his most recent, and very pretty. The all ages show is downstairs with doors at 7:00 and tickets for $15.00.
Numbers will be hosting the album release and tour kickoff for Houston doom metal band, Project Armageddon. The three piece will be releasing their new album before heading towards Maryland for Doom Fest. I feel like I should tell you that you’ve been missing out if you’ve never seen them perform before. I heard more stories of how energetic they were when they recently played Comicpalooza, and I always say that they’re a three piece that plays like a band with way more members. They’ll have quite the eclectic array of bands on the bill with them. Sanctus Bellum will be reuniting at this show, and they are technically playing last with Project Armageddon on prior. Sanctus Bellum is classic doom metal from Houston, and the five piece plays loud and hard. The spacey and almost Brit pop rock of PuraPharm will be on the show as well. This band mixes crazy effects pedals, grandiose outfits, and a kind of psych rock sound when they play live. If you haven’t heard their EP, “Purapharm,” then I’d suggest giving it a listen sooner than later. The punk N’ roll of Houston’s The Freakouts will also be there, while the eclectic power pop rock of The Wheel Workers will open the show. I’d definitely say to get there early as they were really amazing at their album release show for their new EP, “Citizens.” The show is 18 & up, the doors are at 8:00 and the cover is $10.00.
The Suspects 2015 Photo: Bill Grady
Walter’s will be bringing back The Suspects with original singer Chris Kendrick. When I was in high school, I caught the best ska show over when these guys performed downtown with Dallas’ The Grown Ups. Since Chris left he’s been back at least once, but it’s been a really long time since he’s been back at all. You can hear him sing on their first album, 1995’s “Ninety-Nine Paid.” Normally, I wouldn’t tell you to catch a ska show. But, if you’re going to; this is the act to see. Houston’s Skatastrophics will be there as direct support, while the hip hop duo Dirty & Nasty perform prior. I feel bad for anyone who has to follow the high energy these two bring to a live set. Their recently released EP “Sons Of The Queen” definitely mixes old school hip hop with new. DJ Baby Roo will open things up with an as always enigmatic DJ set full of hip hop jams, favorites, and record scratches. This is a great bill on an all ages show with doors at 8:00 and tickets between $8.00 and $10.00.
Continental Club has a good show when the pop rock of Houston three piece Far Out performs. Far Out is set to drop their new album soon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hear their riff heavy jams. They dropped a hook heavy single at the beginning of the year called “No Worries,” and it’s definitely a head bopping tune. The indie rock of Houston’s Young Mammals will also be on the show, and will drop tunes from their beautiful album “Alto Seco” from last year. Easily one of Houston’s better bands going, these guys are always entertaining and high energy from start to finish. One of the Fistful of Soul members, Stewart Anderson will be on hand to open things up with doors at 9:00 and tickets for a measly $8.00.
Sunday you could stop off at Fitzgerald’s to catch the electronica of The New Division. So from one guy to a full band, this act drops electronic jams that are super close to nineties era Depeche Mode and New Order. Their latest is a string of three song releases, most currently “Introspective.” They could really make everyone dance until they can’t move, so I say check them out if that’s your thing. The synth pop of Austin’s Iris will be there for the Texas dates only. Iris drops songs that are similar to eighties dance with heavy pop overtones which are all over their songs. Dallas chillwave duo NITE will open things up on the all ages show with doors at 7:00 and tickets between $10.00 and $12.00.
You can get your pop on at Warehouse Live to see New York’s Jon Bellion. The singer/songwriter/producer makes pop gems with R&B and hip hop influences that have been getting bigger and bigger since he started dropping tunes via Youtube. In 2014 he released the full length “The Definition,” but his last two singles from this year, “All Time Low,” and “Woke The F*ck Up” are massively popular. There’s no word of an opener yet on the all ages show in the studio. the doors are at 8:00 and the tickets are $18.00.
Beta Theater will have an interesting show that I actually have no idea what it really is called The Tripatorium & Lord of The Yum Yum from Chicago. It looks like either fun or craziness, but it’s BYOB with doors at 9:00 and a $4.00 cover.
Monday Poison Girl will host their Tiny Concert series with Andy V. and J. Rodriquez. The music will be electronica and trippy, to be followed by DJ sets from both afterwards. Things get going at 10:00, it’s 21 & up, and 100% FREE.
Ben Folds Photo: Courtney Sacco
Tuesday you can go to House of Blues to catch piano based rocker Ben Folds. So, I’ve seen this guy solo twice and both were amazing, as well as catching an unknown band at SXSW in the nineties called Ben Folds Five. Folds is best known for hits like “You Don’t Know Me,” “Rockin’ the Suburbs,” and “The Luckiest.” Sometimes he drops hits from the Five band as well, but he’s always been great live and he always finds a way to keep it interesting. There’s no word of an opener on the all ages show with doors at 7:00 and tickets between $29.00 and $65.00.
Rudyard’s will be having Grown-up Storytime 79 in two shows. The massively popular show almost always sells out so I suggest getting there early. This show is a Best Of meaning that the best stories from July of last year to May of this year will be told. the 21 & up shows have 8:00 and 10:00 start times with $7.00 tickets.
That’s really all that you could do…okay, not really. Whatever you decide to do this week, please do it responsibly. I saw the craziest car accident the other night before seeing the driver fail a DUI test, and I wouldn’t wish any of that on anyone, so get home the safest way possible and drink like an adult.